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  #21  
Old 12 October 2017, 03:59 PM
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After reading your other threads, it seems to me that the most likely scenario is that your husband opened it in your name. Why I can't really guess. But he'd be the one that would have the easiest time doing so.
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  #22  
Old 13 October 2017, 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Gibbie View Post
After reading your other threads, it seems to me that the most likely scenario is that your husband opened it in your name. Why I can't really guess. But he'd be the one that would have the easiest time doing so.
I think I am painting an unfair picture of my husband, then. He eschews debt like the plague and there are no Key Banks near us, plus if it was someone who actually had access to my real financial info the credit limit would have been a lot higher. He has had exactly one credit card in his whole life (well, now two that I opened one for him as a delegate to establish him a credit score in the US) and refuses to carry any balance on either even though his interest rate is miniscule and we earn way more interest on our investments.

There have also been no charges on the Key Bank account.

I'm a little angry at myself for venting so much about my husband here - we are in a rough place, yes, but right now I'm not working and he is. He's supporting us, I am working as a consultant intermittently but I've been so sick lately I'm not really pulling my weight.

Our relationship is problematic right now, because so much has happened to us recently and we're both upside down (the hysterectomy, me leaving my job as a W2 and joining as a 1099, him getting a work permit, 2 of our dogs dying, one of our dogs attacking me), and I need a personal counselor in addition to a couples counselor per much smart advice from you all (and I am seeing a new individual counselor on Monday, completely different person who is doing our couples therapy so he's "mine.")

This is entirely my fault, and I apologize. Again, the only way you know my husband from a hole in a tree trunk is what I describe on here. So I'm being unfair to him. I'm not pardoning him for any of the problematic issues like not letting me see my doctor alone, but opening a CC in my name is one thing I can pretty much guarantee he wouldn't do.

If I sound ultra defensive I apologize, I'm mostly tired. And I really, really do appreciate the amount of advice, love and support you guys have been throwing my way.
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  #23  
Old 13 October 2017, 03:04 AM
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
A single hard report shouldn't cause a 150 point dip. And talking to two banks without making an application would only cause soft reports, which should have little to no effect.

For me, the score reported by CK is within 20 points of the score I get from the bank (who also reports from the credit agencies). 20 points is well within the margin of error that you'd see from different credit agencies.
Yes, Credit Karma has always seemed consistent for me with whatever a bank would report. One might be a few weeks out of date, but not incorrect.

I have 3 recent hard inquiries, which don't seem to have any significant impact on my score, certainly not 150 points. It's a very minor factor. I also had a recent instance of fraud where someone was using a clone of my card and trying to do cash advances at a casino. They detected and automatically blocked those, and nothing about that shows up in my credit scores at all.

Late or missed payments, High balances relative to your maximum credit, age of your credit accounts. Those account for most of it.
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  #24  
Old 13 October 2017, 03:13 AM
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Someone did recently try to charge a $1,000 car stereo in PA to my debit card, but they caught that right away and called me. They also tried to install a $922 subwoofer but that was after the card number and PIN were changed.

I'm thinking more and more this all boils down to Equifax as my TU and Exp scores are in the 800s and my Equifax score just dropped AGAIN to 526. That's 300 points lower than my next closest score.

I'm religious about payments and made exactly one late payment in my life when I was 23. (12 Y ago).

I will close out the KeyBank account first thing Monday, and also have an appointment Monday am with a credit advising agency (they specialize mostly in bankruptcy but our investment advisor recommended them. Otherwise the smartest finance guy I know is my stepdad and he has no clue about this one).

I am hoping I can delay any identity changing measures until April 7 when my husband's green card renewal is up because that would make things VERY difficult if I had to change any personal details.

ETA: I inherited my father's credit card when he died and it was established in 1984, when I was two - is having an Amex that old a problem? I really don't use it (I only use cards with rewards I can actually use, but never bothered to close the account b/c my mom is on it too and don't even consider it my own, so I guess I technically have 6 cards, not 5, but only use 3, i.e. the 3 that pay off in points/rewards I can actually use - citi points, citi cashback and chase sapphire).
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  #25  
Old 13 October 2017, 03:16 AM
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Two things: First, its possible and easy to apply for a Key Bank credit card online. I doubt anyone walked into one of their branch offices and used your identity to apply. Second, if its tied to your identity, they almost certainly used your credit information for the application. These records are all online.
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  #26  
Old 13 October 2017, 03:33 AM
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The theory that has been prevailing is that someone stole our mail and I was pre-approved for a minor KB credit card which someone was dumb enough to mail in but forgot the card would be mailed to me. That is the local police theory, anyway. I can't imagine anyone is quite *that* stupid, but who knows. Our mail has been stolen before. We never put the flag up until about 10 min before the mailwoman is due to turn up because stealing checks has been an issue in our neighborhood.

If you say it's all scanned and online (which they denied, but shit, CS reps are basically paid to lie half the time) I will put my angryface on tomorrow and demand copies of the signature of the card application agreement because I guarantee it won't match mine. And I'll be able to tell my husband's handwriting on the off chance he decided to be incredibly shady (Though I very much doubt it). I suffer from the female affliction of being way too nice sometimes. I first called them all apologetic like, "so sorry but you accidentally gave me a credit card, I think?"

I am an ass sometimes.

ETA: there has been no evidence except via Equifax that my social was breached. My debit card number, pin, DOB - yes we have evidence all of those were breached. But not my social. So I can't think of anything except one of those stupid pre-approved CC mails where you don't have to put down your social.
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  #27  
Old 13 October 2017, 11:53 AM
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I'm sure you know that none of the supposedly mitigating factors you mentioned could excuse some of the behavior that you have attributed to your husband.

If you were accurate in describing his behavior, you were not unfair to him.
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  #28  
Old 13 October 2017, 12:02 PM
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Well, I don't think he opened a CC in my name. But.... you're right about the rest.

I feel so guilty for "outing" him.... do you guys have any advice? Why do I feel so much guilt when I paid for the house and I pay for 95% of the bills... I don't know how to stop feeling this way.
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  #29  
Old 13 October 2017, 12:06 PM
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However I really don't think it was him who opened the mystery credit card. He is a terrible liar and I questioned him about it directly. Given the discrepancy in my credit scores I do think it's the Equifax breach.

I welcome your advice, Lainie, no matter how brutal it might be. And I suspect it will be. I need reality checks and honest advice from you guys, not consolations.
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  #30  
Old 13 October 2017, 12:07 PM
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I know you don't think he opened the credit card. That's why I talked about how **you** describe his behavior.

ETA: All things considered, the possible fraudulent opening of a low-limit credit card is far less troubling to me than some of the things you have said he definitely did. An unacceptable breach of trust, yes, but not physically dangerous to you.
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  #31  
Old 13 October 2017, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plurabelle View Post
Well, I don't think he opened a CC in my name. But.... you're right about the rest.

I feel so guilty for "outing" him.... do you guys have any advice? Why do I feel so much guilt when I paid for the house and I pay for 95% of the bills... I don't know how to stop feeling this way.
A good question and one you really need to work through with a personal therapist. I hope you can do so. It's really heartbreaking to see the way you approach your situation, you fled in the middle of the night on the advice of your doctor and are now "oh we're having a rough patch." Lainie's right, there are no mitigating circumstances to make that right.

As for the credit card, to be honest, I would have suggested that had you not mentioned him at all. Because it is the simplest explanation. Your mail *could* have been stolen, or your data breached, or the person who lives in your house, that has access to the information needed to open something in your name could have done it for reasons unknown. Especially since you spent several weeks at a time out of the country and wouldn't notice. What was it that Barbara use to say? "When you hear hoofbeats thing horses not zebras?"

Please keep posting. We all care and I want the best for you.
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  #32  
Old 13 October 2017, 09:41 PM
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Oh, you guys won't get rid of me that easily.

If it's okay with all of you I think I'm going to discuss the comments on various threads with my (MY, not our) therapist on Monday.
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  #33  
Old 14 October 2017, 03:57 AM
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I think that is an excellent idea. Make sure you tell him what you told us. Print it out if it's easier.
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  #34  
Old 14 October 2017, 04:17 AM
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I will, and if any of you objects I will black your names out, we have lots of Sharpies. But I cannot tell who any of you are based on your screen names and vagueish locations so I'm not super worried. If you object please let me know.
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  #35  
Old 14 October 2017, 02:13 PM
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I suspect that no therapist will become Columbo trying to determine who screen-name UEL from Ottawa/Fredericton is in real life.

Main thing is to get the discussion between you two. And if this thread is a help, well, then, bonus.
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  #36  
Old 24 October 2017, 11:17 PM
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Just checking in, I am back in Belgium now and the internet access is utter crap in my apt, okay at work but I'm way too busy and things are a little different from US workplace culture (at home I'd expect if I had extra work to do I'd come in early or leave late; here EVERYONE comes in no earlier than 8 and leaves no later than 5 -- we have security guards here who won't let anyone in early and won't let anyone stay late).

So I spend a lot of time at the Ramen shop across the street with wifi.

My personal therapist has proven to be a really, really good therapist. We meet on Skype and it feels like it's in person (I was really skeptical at first trying to see a therapist while abroad, but I met with him in person before I left and we just clicked.)

My sleep patterns are weird as hell but if that's the smallest issue i have to deal with in the next six weeks I'll take it.
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  #37  
Old 25 October 2017, 12:59 AM
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Just to chime in on credit theft and family members and horses and zebras:

A significant amount of Identity Theft is done by family or friends or someone the victim knows. A lot of Identity theft is unreported because it requires prosecuting that person in order to try and remove it from your record. No one wants to send their parent to jail.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/13/us/13identity.html

So, you do look first at spouses, parents, kids, siblings, roommates, etc.

(I'm not saying accuse all of your family members, but don't discount it as a possibility.)

Last edited by khisanth; 25 October 2017 at 01:09 AM. Reason: added last line
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  #38  
Old 25 October 2017, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plurabelle View Post
Oh, you guys won't get rid of me that easily.

If it's okay with all of you I think I'm going to discuss the comments on various threads with my (MY, not our) therapist on Monday.
Knock yourself out.
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  #39  
Old 25 October 2017, 07:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UEL View Post
I suspect that no therapist will become Columbo trying to determine who screen-name UEL from Ottawa/Fredericton is in real life.
I suspect you're right.

Plus which: anybody could be reading these boards, anyway. Thanks for asking, though, Plurabelle.
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  #40  
Old 03 December 2017, 09:19 PM
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To update everyone - this was a credit card opened by my husband's employer for our health savings account, so I was freaking out about nothing, essentially. (It would have been nice if they had told us it was coming, but I got a letter on 12/1 when it goes into effect).
My Credit Karma score is still about 100 points lower than my official credit reports from the 3 agencies, so I decided to table the issue mentally.
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