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  #41  
Old 13 June 2017, 10:31 PM
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Yup. Lots of people here hoping it works out well for you.
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  #42  
Old 14 June 2017, 07:58 PM
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So there is progress. The path is not yet absolutely clear, but it's getting there. I hope everything goes as good as possible.
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  #43  
Old 17 June 2017, 04:52 PM
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Best wishes for the outcome that will be best for you!
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  #44  
Old 13 July 2017, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASL View Post
Well, my command, the detailer, and I have gone with option A: resign ASAP (in a year) but stay with the current command until that date (eight months longer than I would have with option B). But maybe not. It turns out there's an option D, which I will refer to ironically as the "nuclear option" because, actually, it would very likely result in me being "de-nuked" (that is, they would decide I am no longer medically fit to perform my primary duties, as a surface nuclear propulsion engineer).
Well, it looks like it's option D. As soon as I get over the feeling that I will almost certainly end up somewhere worse and that I have betrayed everyone who depends on me in my current job and whoever is going to have to "take the helm" when I jump ship here in the next week or so, I'm sure I'll feel a million times better. In the mean time, though, I feel like I want to take a black marker to my portrait on the command photo board and color over my face and my ribbons. Like the ancient Roman's used to do. Damnatio memoriae...
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  #45  
Old 14 July 2017, 03:04 AM
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thorny locust thorny locust is offline
 
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ASL, this is an injury. It is not your fault that you are injured, and it is not a betrayal.
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  #46  
Old 14 July 2017, 11:01 AM
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Thanks. And some characters...
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  #47  
Old 14 July 2017, 06:45 PM
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I've learned something today, in that it seems there will always be somebody waiting to rewrite history.

What is done, is done. I wish you a successful recovery.
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  #48  
Old 15 July 2017, 04:52 AM
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So here's something else I want to get off my chest. It's this platitude the Navy has been pushing the last couple years about mental health issues, how seeking help is "a sign of strength." Whether or not this is true, the extent to which the Navy actually practices it is pure bull shit. Here's why:

1) If true, it's my "weakness" (not seeking help) five years ago that allowed me to get promoted.
2) In spite of having more deployments and more time overseas than anyone else in my office, with several people who have been in twice as long as I have, no one is exactly cheering me on for my "strength." Nor do I desire them to, but it's not just that...
3) With every other medical condition, we don't:
-a) Continue to say explicitly "it's a medical condition." That's kind of understood. In other words, "the lady doth protest to much, methinks."
-b) Do the "kindness" of ignoring it. Someone breaks a leg that's going to have them unable to support the duty rotation for several months, people express how sorry they are for said person and how they hope they get better soon and oh how terrible it must be. In my case, I think they consider it "polite" not to talk about it. Because if they talked about it (at least not in front of me), they'd probably talk about it as I've heard them talk about more junior sailors who have flirted with mental health issues. Things like "he's trying to 'sad out'" or "he's just not cut out for this (and is lesser for it)" or "I guess we're a kinder, gentler Navy."

"A sign of strength" my ass. I'd be happy to just have it treated like a broken leg: what's so damn hard about that?

Slight tangent: as part of the evaluation process, I had to see a second psychiatrist, the one who would actually be treating me. He's been in the Navy about five seconds, has never been to sea, and I get the feeling this is being treated like a high school kid who's had a rough time with grades/bullies/mom/dad/whatever rather than someone who has slowly lost their NFBSKing mind after twelve years of mostly arduous duty with six years overseas in nine different locations and four different countries (not counting the ones I was only in for days or weeks at a time) serving a Navy that just doesn't give a damn about mental health (in spite of protestations to the contrary).

Just needed to get that off my chest so maybe I can sleep, the bike ride didn't help this time...
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  #49  
Old 15 July 2017, 02:01 PM
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We talk a good game about mental health, but yeah, it freaks people out or confuses them, so it is easiest to ignore or minimize it. My wife lost friends, good friends she had had for many years, when she had a minor breakdown and ended up not doing a minor thing for them (since she was too busy working out ways and reasons to NOT kill herself to do so.) Years later, after telling them exactly what was going on, the friends still are gone and consider themselves totally justified in it, and mutual friends back them up. And years later, my wife refuses to see a psychologist since "it's fine now." SO, you have great respect from me for being willing to do so, even though you have real reasons to NOT do so in your career.
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  #50  
Old 15 July 2017, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dfresh View Post
SO, you have great respect from me for being willing to do so, even though you have real reasons to NOT do so in your career.
Well, that's the thing, I can't claim to be really stepping out onto a ledge here: my career is already over. My resignation is already in. I've already "jumped" so to speak.

The difference between now and five years ago is that now I have no career to worry about. It's over. No matter what happens, in May of 2018, I will no longer be a naval officer. I will never be promoted again and that was the case before I sought treatment, hence referring to it as "option D" rather than "the only option." I can certainly understand your wife's current position, not wanting to see a psychologist for fear of the consequences, because that was my position for at least five years.

With a broken leg, treatment really is the only option. Mental health? We have plenty of terrible leaders who aren't mentally ill as it is. Many of them will be promoted to their next paygrade. So What's the big whoop about someone who feels detached from others, is having a hard time empathizing with them, gets explosively angry every now and then, and maybe is having a hard time concentrating on relatively simple job tasks? It may not quite be par for the course, but it's still a qualifying score...

Really, this is very much a matter of "if I don't get help now, I never will." Because options only get (much) more limited once out of the Navy. Which is the harsh reality of mental (and physical) health issues in America.
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