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  #421  
Old 14 September 2017, 11:27 PM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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As someone with wavy/frizzy hair, I have come to rely on Brazlian Keratin treatment. (I'd prefer to keep my head almost shaved, but my husband, who earns it and is worth it, likes my hair shoulder length). It's $300 per treatment that lasts 3 months at most.
I've heard you can go in for $10 a batch for a group batch of keratin as long as you have a friend who has the authentic goods.

I don't know anyone of such, but I continue to pay $300/treatment because I look so childish with my flyaways
Highlights, I can do myself. Dye, I can do myself. Trims, I can do myself.
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  #422  
Old 15 September 2017, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
My mother was sympathetic to my pain, but she would never even have considered letting me go on the pill.
My parents certainly did some things I wished they hadn't -- even some that I still wish they hadn't -- but they got some things right, and that was one of them. When they found me crying hysterically (OK, maybe in this case that's even the right adjective) because yet another period had come out of any reasonable cycle -- I think it was two weeks after the previous one -- and saying I didn't see how I was going to manage college when I never knew when I was going to be bleeding and rendered incapable of work by cramps, they hauled me off to a doctor who prescribed Demulen; which they dutifully paid for, for years.

And they never asked me whether I also needed it for birth control. (That was during that lovely brief time period between the advent of the Pill and the discovery that yes, there were dangerous STD's that a good dose of antibiotics couldn't cure.) I'm sure that they, my mother especially, didn't want me to be having sex; but they carefully never asked. I took their not asking to mean 'we don't want to know the answer', and never told.


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Originally Posted by mbravo View Post
Weirdly enough it was other girls my own age giving me grief about it. I got in a few arguments where other girls (friends of mine) said it meant I was a slut, and that putting a tampon in meant I was masturbating. It was bizarre. .
When I saw that I went to your profile and checked your age, expecting you to be my age or older. Good grief. I had assumed that attitude had disappeared long before you were in your teens. Most people I knew assumed that tampons were OK in the 1960's.
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  #423  
Old 15 September 2017, 12:15 AM
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Lainie Lainie is online now
 
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But you changed your tampons regularly, right?

When I went away to college, my mom would clip out every article on toxic shock that she saw, and enclose it with her next letter. I picked up my mail on the way to dinner.
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  #424  
Old 15 September 2017, 01:32 AM
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My first few years, I had terrible cramps, but they eventually cleared up. During all this, my period would last a minimum of six days. Now, I'm mostly cramp-free and I somehow managed to negotiate my body down to four days. Though it still sucks. Again any designer could come up with a better system than this
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  #425  
Old 15 September 2017, 02:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
But you changed your tampons regularly, right?

When I went away to college, my mom would clip out every article on toxic shock that she saw, and enclose it with her next letter. I picked up my mail on the way to dinner.
Not sure whether that was meant for me, but: we didn't hear of the toxic shock business until, I think, I was well into my twenties. IIRC, this was brought on mostly by new materials in the tampons (or at least we thought so at the time), and the brand I was using didn't include them. I did take to changing more often, just in case. I had usually changed them fairly frequently except right near the end of the period anyway, as even on the pill my periods were too heavy the first several days to do otherwise.

-- what I did use to get in the mail from my parents was clippings on the dangers of marijuana. They never asked that question, either, though. Which was convenient --
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  #426  
Old 15 September 2017, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbravo View Post
found them too uncomfortable
I asked my mother about tampons once, and she didn't wear them for that reason. I've never tried tampons, always having found pads sufficient.

I got my first migraine when I was 15; my mother noticed that I wasn't feeling well and asked what was wrong. Her second question was: are you having your period? After I said yes, she immediately called our doctor and said flat out that Dawn had a menstrual migraine ('just like the ones I get!') and give her something ASAP!!
This was when Motrin was still by scrip only. It didn't go OTC until the mid-late 80s.

I don't miss those days! SO don't miss them!
It has not been a full year yet, so I'm crossing my fingers!
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  #427  
Old 15 September 2017, 04:52 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
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Originally Posted by mbravo View Post
Some girls tried to use tampons but found them too uncomfortable which was one thing. But I felt bad for other ones who refrained from doing certain activities (going to the pool, etc) because of the internalized stigma they had against tampons. I don't know if their moms told them that (maybe their moms were just too embarassed to have those kind of talks with them I guess) or if they picked it up from somewhere else, but it was kinda sad, and there was absolutely no talking them out of it.
I had a friend from a VERY religious family who refused to talk to their children about sex and reproduction in any form.

This friend kept complaining about how uncomfortable a tampon was to the point where she said she was in pain. It turned out that she had left the cardboard applicator in, too.
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  #428  
Old 15 September 2017, 05:31 PM
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When my mom was a young woman, the girl who lived next door came over crying one day, terrified, because she had gotten her first period while home alone, and her mother had taught her nothing. Nothing.

Then there was my cousin J, who after her first period firmly announced to her mother, "I am never doing that again."
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  #429  
Old 15 September 2017, 11:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouse View Post
My first few years, I had terrible cramps, but they eventually cleared up. During all this, my period would last a minimum of six days. Now, I'm mostly cramp-free and I somehow managed to negotiate my body down to four days. Though it still sucks. Again any designer could come up with a better system than this
That happened with me too - when I first got my period, it was misery and lasted a week. During my second period ever, I lost so much blood that I fainted and scared the ever living crap out of my father, who didn't know what was happening (I was 10 and he hadn't been told I was menstruating). Luckily my grandmother the RN was around and revived me and explained what was going on to my dad, who kept a wide berth for a few days.

I had to leave school a few times in middle/high school from cramps or fainting.

More recently my periods were 2-3 days and no cramps.
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  #430  
Old 16 September 2017, 12:39 AM
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Good news for me- this period was way less horrible than the last two were. I only had to take painkiller twice this time. Maybe I can stick with this pill after all.


DawnStorm- my cramps were so bad that in late high school and early college I was taking up to 4 or 5 ibuprofen at the worst points. I eventually got a prescription for Naproxen but I developed an allergy to it. Since then I have only taken Tylenol for pain- I'm too afraid to try any other NSAIDs, and at this time in my life it's not worth going to a doctor to test out. I'm very lucky that my birth control has put a cap on my really bad cramps. No more keeping a container of cheerios next to my bed for when I inevitably would wake up at 5 am between cramps, having to gobble a few handfuls, chug some water, and take the "only take with meals" strength painkiller.

Ellestar & Lainie- that's awful I don't have a daughter (yet), but there's a 12yo girl I'm very close to through babysitting and work, and am close with the family. The subject of periods has come up quite a few times and I am always very honest and frank with her about my experiences and her options. I know her mom isn't like the ones you describe, but I figure that giving her more information just helps her to make more informed choices when the time comes for her. Maybe it's different when it's your own child, but I feel like I could give that particular "talk" to any girl that needed it. It's just a natural part of growing up and I really feel bad for girls who didn't have the support I had. I've thanked my own mom many times for being so open with us about those kinds of things. She never felt embarassed about it; she cared about us and wanted to make sure we felt knowledgable and comfortable. The lack of communication on those matters was something she regretted about her own upbringing.
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  #431  
Old 16 September 2017, 02:28 AM
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My periods started light and fairly non-painful, and then got worse and worse until I went on the pill.

My parents must have been embarrassed, because what they did was put a book on my bookshelf. They didn't even point it out to me, just waited for me to find it -- although they knew me well enough that they knew that wouldn't take very long. The book, in addition to explaining periods, had basic sex education (very basic, I eventually found out they'd left a whole lot out, including both the clitoris and any mention whatsoever of anything other than one-cisboy-one-cisgirl; but it was, after all, around 1960) including line drawings, not of sexual acts, but of not-very-detailed anatomy. I mentioned it to a couple of schoolmates and they asked to see it; when I told my mother I'd shown it to them she said I shouldn't do that as their parents might want to tell them about it themselves. I've wondered since whether that was the first information, and maybe the only information, they got about their periods before starting.
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  #432  
Old 16 September 2017, 03:00 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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I went to a private (non religious) school that taught no holds barred anatomy in grade 5, including, once we got to the reproductive system (not until May, so that if anyone showed signs of being too immature they could be pulled), STDs, birth control, sex, oral/anal sex, masturbation, etc etc. My parents were definitely relieved they didn't have to deal with that.
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  #433  
Old 18 September 2017, 12:35 AM
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It is strange, but I don't remember first getting my period. I remember HAVING it (in 7th or 8th grade), but not when I first got it. You would think I would remember that. I think one of my sisters told me about it, but I don't remember that either. They used to have those "after school specials" that talked about stuff like that, back in the olden days.

MG
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  #434  
Old 18 September 2017, 01:28 AM
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If I hadn't read "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret", I wouldn't have had any idea what a period was when I got mine at age 12. And I only read that book because my grandmother bought a bunch of books for me at a garage sale, without knowing what any of them were about. My parents didn't have The Talk with me at all. I didn't know what a penis was. I had a vague idea that boys had a "thing" but I didn't know what that thing was or what it was for. I didn't know how babies were made until I had sex ed in 7th grade. I thought you got married and then later a baby spontaneously formed inside of you.

And because this topic was taboo in our house, when I did get my period, I hid it from my mom for months. Part of me was in denial and part of me didn't know what else to do. I stuffed my underpants with toilet paper, I stole pads from my friends' houses. When my mom finally discovered a pair of blood-stained underpants I'd hidden, she went ballistic. I'm not sure why she was outraged -- that I'd gotten my period, or that I hadn't told her. I just remember her being pissed off and me feeling horrified and ashamed. It was after dinner when she discovered it, and she hates leaving the house after dark, so she was angry about having to go to the drug store. She came back with a box of tampons and threw them on my bed, saying sarcastically: "The instructions are inside. Have fun." That was the extent of our discussion.

Most of the information I did manage to find about periods was in outdated books from the 70's, and one was a novel in which a girl says she can't go swimming because she has her period. Without having further information, I thought that meant you weren't supposed to get any water around your vagina at all. I'm not sure when I realized it was okay to bathe while you had your period.

During my teenage years, my cramps were so bad that I always threw up on the first day of my period, and I had to lie on the bathroom floor for hours, wracked with unbearable pain. It felt like a demon was inside me, trying to claw its way out every month. I had to miss school sometimes. Of course, my mother never offered to take me to a doctor or anything. I was just expected to live with it.
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  #435  
Old 18 September 2017, 06:01 PM
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Morning Morning is offline
 
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After reading the above posters' stories, I realize how lucky I was.

I knew about mating, childbirth, and lactation. We had cats and my mother sat with me while one of our cats gave birth, telling me what was going on. I was about 7 or so. It was fascinating. She explained that the mama cat had been in heat and that was what the yelling and spitting had been, but that people don't have heats, so it wasn't as bad for people. She casually added that people go through something like heat, but milder once a month.

I knew what naked boys looked like and that the Ken doll didn't show it. Tom cats had somewhat the same thing. (My dad was always covered but when I played with my nephews who were slightly older than me.... well sometimes we wanted to go swimming on impulse.)

She wasn't prepared for my first cycle, not expecting me to start at 9 years old. So that was a confusing evening for all of us. She ended up handing me $5 and dad drove me to the store and I went in to buy my supplies alone. That was scary. (Mother was ill, in a wheelchair, and couldn't go with me.)

But I knew what was happening, at least!

For that, I will always be grateful.
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  #436  
Old 19 September 2017, 03:29 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morning View Post
, but that people don't have heats,
Wanna bet?
We're just not as obvious about it in front of strangers.

Regarding strict religious homes: Girls and boys seem to be getting mixed messages regarding sexuality: they're not told anything about it when they're young, but then they're expected to get married out of high school and know exactly what to do on their wedding night. Gotta start pumping those kids out!!
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  #437  
Old 19 September 2017, 06:21 PM
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If I hadn't read "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret", I wouldn't have had any idea what a period was when I got mine at age 12.
I remember being really uncomfortable because the boys in my fifth grade class were parading this book around and making fun of a period, which they thought the girl just got a dot, like at the end of a sentence. I had just gotten my first one a few days earlier and I hadn't told anyone yet, except my mother after about 2-3 days. I still remember the underwear - little turtle patterns with a single ruffle around each leg. They were my favorite set of underwear (I think there were 5 different colors) and I was quite upset I ruined 2 pairs.

Rather poor timing on my part as it was just before the year end sex ed day and it was just before I spent the weekend at my best friend's house. I had a copy of "What's Happening to Me" by Peter Mayle, but I think I hadn't quite put it together that this was going to happen to me. And my softball team had white pants. Not ideal for a girl with her first, then second, period. That may have been my last year of playing.

I told her about getting my period and she told me she hoped it never happened to her. I tearfully reported this to my mother, who then called my friend's mom so she knew she had to do something. My friend's mom's response was something along the lines of, "Looks like I have to talk to her again."
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  #438  
Old 19 September 2017, 07:07 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
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I was lucky in that my mom was a nurse and as soon as I started asking about the commercials for maxi pads and tampons, she gave me an age-appropriate rundown of sex, pregnancy, and menstruation. I remember being nine at the time.

I also remember having pretty good sex-ed class days in the fifth and sixth grades. Of course, these classes were too late for the girls who got their first period at nine (which a few had), but it was just right for me (I was almost 13). It helped cement my mom's information. Seventh grade sex-ed was a big scandal because the school nurse brought a condom. We had just moved to Texas and I was agog at the students who left class at this point. I couldn't imagine wanting to learn LESS about this stuff, especially less than my classmates.
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