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Old 16 December 2013, 05:00 PM
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Icon06 Woman learns son she gave up died on Pan Am 103

Heartbreak for an Oregon woman who gave up her son for adoption 45 years ago: She decided to track him down after her husband's death last year, only to learn that he was among hundreds of people killed when Pan Am Flight 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland, in 1988.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24626584
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Old 16 December 2013, 05:35 PM
MisterGrey MisterGrey is offline
 
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Though it's a sad story, how rare is this, really? We hear about happy biological family reunion stories all the time, when someone decides to track down a parent/child, but surely it's not terribly uncommon for one of the two parties to have died in the interim, nor uncommon for them to have died in unnatural circumstances. Sure, Lockerbie was an international tragedy, but there must be countless cases of individuals involved in the adoption process learning that parents/children died in car crashes, were the victims of violence, etc.
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Old 16 December 2013, 08:49 PM
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Your point then would be, what exactly? Nothing to see here, move along?
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Old 16 December 2013, 09:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterGrey View Post
Though it's a sad story, how rare is this, really? Sure, Lockerbie was an international tragedy, but there must be countless cases of individuals involved in the adoption process learning that parents/children died in car crashes, were the victims of violence, etc.
Really. I mean, I just don't get why the national news media don't give every fatal automobile accident the same prominence as acts of international terrorism that kill hundreds or thousands of people at once.
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Old 16 December 2013, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Though it's a sad story, how rare is this, really?
If you mean "how often does a a search for an adopted child/birth parent end in failure?", it isn't uncommon and I didn't get the impression from reading the article any suggestion to the contrary. But to give one answer to your question (and I'm in no way an expert on the subject), when I was doing research for a story more than a decade ago about adopted children and/or their birth parents looking for each other, it wasn't at all unusual to find that a search had ended in failure. There were a variety of reasons. They included legal, death, lack of any solid information, a simple unwillingness for one party or the other wanting to be found, among others.

Even if one chose to overlook the tie-in with a well-known tragedy, consider the article a counter-point to all the "happy biological reunion" stories we hear about.

~Psihala
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Old 17 December 2013, 05:53 PM
Magdalene Magdalene is offline
 
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I'm not surprised to hear that an adoption search might end in failure, and I would guess that many adoptees, if looking for their birth parents, might go into it knowing that said parent may have passed away (depending on how old the adoptee is when they start looking, or what they know of the circumstances of their parent--known drug user who could have OD'd, somebody with heart trouble, etc...)

But I would guess most parents who give up their children then go looking for them don't expect the *child* to have passed away (since our default tends to be if the parent is still living, the child, who is younger, must be.) And they especially don't expect to hear that their child died in an act of terrorism. The bio-mom probably envisioned her child safe and happy with his family and living a fairly good life (not saying he didn't up until his death), and she could be wondering if she'd kept him, would he have gotten on the plane, and would he still be alive? She may very well be thinking somehow by giving him up, she's responsible for the life path that put him on that plane. (Irrational, but possible.)

Magdalene
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Old 21 December 2013, 07:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterGrey View Post
Though it's a sad story, how rare is this, really?
Because the news media need complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me to get our attention and maximize ad revenues.

HT South Park.
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Old 21 December 2013, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterGrey View Post
Sure, Lockerbie was an international tragedy, but there must be countless cases of individuals involved in the adoption process learning that parents/children died in car crashes, were the victims of violence, etc.
True but how often have those people searching for birth parents/adopted kids heard about the event that killed the person prior to discovering their "connection" to it.
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