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  #21  
Old 02 October 2013, 05:06 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Suicide bombers no less.
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  #22  
Old 03 October 2013, 12:49 AM
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Suicide bombers no less.
So they think that every time a Canada goose drops a bomb on the sidewalk, they blow up? We should be so lucky.
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  #23  
Old 03 October 2013, 12:53 AM
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Indeed, Horse Chestnut.
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  #24  
Old 03 October 2013, 01:23 AM
lavender blue lavender blue is offline
 
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From Gutter Monkey's quoted passage:
Quote:
...feed the pastured horses.
I read that as "pasteurized horses" and was amused by horses in little paper milk cartons.
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  #25  
Old 03 October 2013, 02:46 AM
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Horses are mean. One tried to steal my mother's purse when she patted it.


I still don't know what it was planning to use the credit cards for.
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  #26  
Old 03 October 2013, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Richard W View Post
It wouldn't surprise me. I haven't trusted farm owners since I was a toddler and one of them gave me some "cow cake" to eat, telling me it was "cake". (Cow cake is fodder made from compressed silage. I guess it could have been worse. At least he didn't bite me.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Theodorakis View Post
Could have been even worse if he gave you "cow pie."

Nick
or Road Apples as they contain little to no apples at all!

Now, Why don't they isolate the breed of horse, like they do with dogs?
With dogs it's not "all dogs are vicious", it's "Peetbowls har viscious!11!1"

So why not the same treatment for horses?
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  #27  
Old 03 October 2013, 07:18 PM
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I still don't know what it was planning to use the credit cards for.
Play the ponies?
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  #28  
Old 04 October 2013, 02:41 AM
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My Mom has this sign up at her ranch:




It’s probably just a joke, but I haven’t actually asked her if there was an incident that led to posting the sign.
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  #29  
Old 04 October 2013, 08:14 AM
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Nobody told them how to feed horses properly by tucking your thumb in and putting the grass (or whatever you're feeding them) flat on the palm of your hand...
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  #30  
Old 04 October 2013, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard W View Post
Nobody told them how to feed horses properly by tucking your thumb in and putting the grass (or whatever you're feeding them) flat on the palm of your hand...
Actually, pull the grass out, extend your arm back, throw it like a grenade and runnnnnnnn!! in the opposite direction.

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  #31  
Old 04 October 2013, 02:21 PM
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Brad from Georgia Brad from Georgia is offline
 
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I'm firmly convinced that horses are barely evolved above their vicious predatory forebears. They all hate me and try to kill me. These are all true:
  • A horse being ridden by a naked blonde lady bit my shoulder.
  • When I took one riding lesson, the horse carried me into the middle of a stream, lay down, and rolled over me, trying to drown me.
  • On my second and last riding lesson, the horse got out of sight of the barn and refused to move. An hour later it returned to the barn and as soon as it got within sight of the owner, it began to wheeze, stagger, and drool as though I had got it up to eighty mph and kept it there. Horses lie.
  • When I was a kid, my folks put me on a pony ride. The pony got loose from the ring and ran me into a tree limb, knocking me off and knocking the wind out of me.
  • When my daughter was taking riding lessons, her teacher told me horses were gentle and kind and brought out gentle, kind Molly to prove it. Molly forced me against the barn and leaned against me trying to crush me to death.
Horses. Don't talk to me about horses.
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  #32  
Old 04 October 2013, 02:22 PM
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So, horses, squirrels -- any other animals that hate you and are trying to kill you, Brad?
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  #33  
Old 04 October 2013, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom from Georgia View Post
A horse being ridden by a naked blonde lady bit my shoulder.
You should have kept your shutters shut like everyone else did.
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  #34  
Old 04 October 2013, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia View Post
  • A horse being ridden by a naked blonde lady bit my shoulder..
Possibly you were wearing too much?
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  #35  
Old 04 October 2013, 03:26 PM
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Was she at least attractive? Cause that may have still been a 'win'.
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  #36  
Old 04 October 2013, 03:47 PM
Dr. Dave Dr. Dave is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
So, horses, squirrels -- any other animals that hate you and are trying to kill you, Brad?
The rhino, of course.
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  #37  
Old 04 October 2013, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia View Post
When I was a kid, my folks put me on a pony ride. The pony got loose from the ring and ran me into a tree limb, knocking me off and knocking the wind out of me.
I had a pony like that when I was a kid. She hated being ridden, and would usually spend the entire ride looking for low branches to run under. One time she managed to find a pair of trees that were just close enough together for her to squeeze through, but not for my legs.
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  #38  
Old 04 October 2013, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia View Post
[*]When I took one riding lesson, the horse carried me into the middle of a stream, lay down, and rolled over me, trying to drown me.[*]On my second and last riding lesson, the horse got out of sight of the barn and refused to move. An hour later it returned to the barn and as soon as it got within sight of the owner.
Wait a minute here.

Some place that was giving riding lessons put a total novice on a horse and allowed that horse to go out into the middle of a stream?

Some place that was giving riding lessons put a total novice on a horse that rolls?

Some place that was giving riding lessons put a total novice on a horse and let them go off out of sight, not only of the barn, but apparently of all other witnesses?

These people should not, repeat not, be offering riding lessons.

Or do you mean you had friends who had horses, and who were either entirely reckless or knew nothing about horses, and who offered to teach you to ride by doing the equivalent of teaching somebody to swim by telling them to go paddle out into the ocean unaccompanied?
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  #39  
Old 04 October 2013, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie
So, horses, squirrels -- any other animals that hate you and are trying to kill you, Brad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Dave View Post
The rhino, of course.

And the fox with mange.

~Psihala
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  #40  
Old 04 October 2013, 07:35 PM
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And me. Damn! Did I type that out loud? Damn! Sorry Brad, er... Damn! It's just that you're so funny and good at writing, and of course I didn't mean that... er... Damn!

(eta) You wouldn't believe how much it cost me to make sure Brad was on that particular horse at that time. I don't remember the details, but I don't think I'd even been born, so you can imagine how much effort it took.
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