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  #661  
Old 18 October 2018, 06:57 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Roll eyes

Dear Phisherman--

Nice try fool. We here at Workplace were born at night--but not last night.

Email recipient.
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  #662  
Old 20 November 2018, 04:09 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Shifty Eyes

Dear Supervisor--
You're getting a CIA Agent on the Shel--I mean Elf on the Shelf for your daughter V? 30 years from now, a therapist will be rich.

Dawn
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  #663  
Old 23 November 2018, 09:28 AM
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Gutter Monkey Gutter Monkey is offline
 
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1) We're two weeks into this project and we've already built a fairly large amount of the props and costumes. Why are you still negotiating the budget with the client? And why the heck are you trying to overcharge them for certain items "just in case they take the bait"??? Congratulations, now the client has slashed the budget and we have to scramble to piece together whatever we can to salvage the gig.

2) We've got a huge list of items that are essential to the gig and we haven't even started on half of those and we've only got a few weeks of prep time left, why the heck are you insisting that I spend all this week working on non-essential bonus items? You know that we're going to run out of time and we'll be madly trying to throw together major items in a crazy rush at 4am the day that the truck arrives to take delivery of them because that ALWAYS happens because YOU SUCK at organisation. I told you over and over that we should work on the essential items now when we can take our time and do a good job on them and then we can tackle the bonus items at the end if we have time (big if!!) and that this is a dumb way to run a business.
If you're expecting me to stay back until 4am again to pull your ass out of the fire you may have to come up with a different plan.
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  #664  
Old 29 November 2018, 11:19 AM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Driver

Dear Trucker--
Thank you for letting me on the Beltway this morning. Safe travels.

The woman in the Subaru.
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  #665  
Old 12 December 2018, 12:08 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Roll eyes

Dear Atlantic: Reporting on first world problems much? In the past week, you've run articles on the following: People who don't tell their kids the Santa Claus myth versus family members who do; an analysis of the latest Dr. Who; America's obsession with paper towels; and a history of showering and how it was used to "calm" psych patients once upon a time. OK, the last one was somewhat interesting.
On the brighter side, at least you've discovered that there is more to news than President Trump. Brownie points for that, but the other articles are just First World Problems. What's next? The Issues Left-Handed Women Face When Trying to Locate Their Cars in a Parking Lot?

One of your online readers.
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  #666  
Old 12 December 2018, 12:49 PM
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ASL ASL is offline
 
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Location: Norfolk, VA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnStorm View Post
a history of showering and how it was used to "calm" psych patients once upon a time.
Is that why sanitarium sounds so much like sanitary?

Quote:
Reporting on first world problems much? ... One of your online readers.
Sounds like you've got a first world problem to me.
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  #667  
Old 20 December 2018, 03:31 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Goldfish

To expectant parents in the Mid-Atlantic: do not be surprised if your child has gills; this is the wettest year on record.

MD resident
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  #668  
Old 08 January 2019, 02:05 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Blow Your Top

Dear Vet: You chirpily tell my supervisor that her dog is relatively young and still has a lot of life left in her as a way to get to pay for more tests? Grossly unprofessional and pressuring E when she's already feeling horrible because of her dog's kidney failure.

Shocked employee of said supervisor
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  #669  
Old 29 January 2019, 03:12 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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D'oh!

Dear School Bus Driver:
Please accept my apologies for what happened at that Four-Way stop sign yesterday afternoon. You had the right of way, but after I stopped I just plowed on through like the bonehead I was. While I cannot undo it, I have resolved to be more observant in the future.
The bonehead in the Subaru.
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  #670  
Old 30 January 2019, 03:24 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Dear storage unit management company:

Why are you sending me emails for healthy recipies?!? Stay in your lane.
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  #671  
Old 26 February 2019, 12:32 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Icon102

Dear recycling bin: where art thou? You were last seen sitting out along the sidewalk yesterday morning waiting to be emptied and now...?

Your owner
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  #672  
Old 26 February 2019, 02:19 PM
RichardM RichardM is offline
 
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Location: Las Cruces, NM
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Which way was the wind blowing?
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  #673  
Old 26 February 2019, 05:30 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Heavt breathing

Mostly from the south, but there were wind advisories and warnings up for the entire area all day.
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  #674  
Old 26 February 2019, 10:27 PM
RichardM RichardM is offline
 
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Look for the first fence to the north.
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  #675  
Old 27 February 2019, 05:50 AM
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Don Enrico Don Enrico is offline
 
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Dear passport photo booth at the mall near my office,

what's up? I came to you because I needed my picture taken for a new passport. I did everything according to what you said on the screen, including crouching down to get my eyes in between the two horizontal lines. And what do you do? Instead of giving me my photos, you print pictures of some grey old man who slightly resembles my father.

I refuse!

Don Enrico
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  #676  
Old 27 February 2019, 11:59 AM
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Whalephant

Dear doctors here for some sort of meeting,

Really? Supreme condescension when talking to the hotel staff? That's how you roll? To paraphrase the late, great Betty Neels, if you treat your staff the way you treat us, I'm surprised you have any staff.

sincerely,
Would love to tell your patients how rude you are, but I bet they already know.
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  #677  
Old 28 February 2019, 05:51 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Sneeze

Not Dear at All Allergies: A major flair up right at the beginning of the season? Really? I'm gonna sic the Flonaise on you!
Listen, trees will be actively pollinating from now until around the Ides of May, so please try to contain yourselves!

Dear Mom--thanks large for the DNA! NOT!!

She who has a dollar-store respiratory system
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  #678  
Old 07 March 2019, 03:32 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Dear Microsoft: Re: Click 2 Run

Eat a buffet of dicks.



Backdrop: Click 2 Run ghosts install products that you didn't select to install. And then you can't load THE SAME EXACT VERSION of the product that you didn't want to install before. When playing the Fallout line of games, I used to think it ridiculous that a company would perform horrible psychological experiments on a population just to see how much they could take.

I used to think.
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  #679  
Old 07 March 2019, 03:42 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Icon18

B.F. Skinner lives on.
ETA: A local newscast is currently running a profile about how some games may be turning children into (future) gamblers. Cue anxious voice and shock.

Dawn--ya think??--Storm
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  #680  
Old 10 March 2019, 06:30 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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No

Dear Corner-
Another accident?!
Dear Victims: I hope you'll be OK. Sounds like the EMTs have arrived.

Dear all (and that includes me): be careful out there!!

The women who lives at the corner (and who had the daylights scared out of her)
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