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  #641  
Old 14 January 2019, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post

- Don't get hung up on numbers: 1) don't cram yourself uncomfortably into a specific size just because that's what you usually wear;
True that. I normally wear a 2XL top, but if it's too snug when I try it on, I know it's cut small. Looking at you Cuddle-Duds! If g-you're really good, you can hold up a garment, eyeball it and say either a) yeah I'll try this on, it looks like it will fit; of b) no way that's a size whatever!
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  #642  
Old 14 January 2019, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by thorny locust View Post
[ETA: replying to Seaboe] Men's slacks/pants in the same price range as women's very often allow a choice of inseams in any given size. Some moderately priced ones even allow free hemming in the men's sizes.
This is a change that's fairly cheap, so I agree that there's no reason women's clothes makers can't offer it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
That doesn't explain the wide variety of size differences between brands for women's clothes.
There's no industry-wide standard for women's clothes sizes. Men's are based on measurements (e.g., 34 waist/ 32 inseam on pants, 16 neck on shirts). The only way to correct the size differentials would be to base all sizing on measurements, which is what sewing patterns do. The trouble is, the industry perception is that women who would buy a size 16 won't buy a garment labeled 38" waist/48" hips.

Seaboe
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  #643  
Old 14 January 2019, 08:24 PM
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Men's non-dress shirts don't have dimensional sizes, but I can walk into a store and buy a collared* shirt by the size and have it fit just like any other manufacturer's collared shirt.

* T-shirts are a bit more variable, but not nearly so variable as women's clothing.
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  #644  
Old 15 January 2019, 10:08 AM
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My mom's new hobby is hosting house concerts. She and my dad go to see a lot of small-time singer-songwriters perform, and now they and various people in their social circle host these artists and charge their friends and neighbors $20 for admission to a potluck dinner and concert, with all the money going to the artist. It's a nice thing, I guess.

The first time she hosted one she was sick with worry about how it would turn out and asked for my help. I came, tended bar, circulated and talked to people who looked lonely (which is so not one of my natural talents, ugh) and bought a bunch of CDs from the artist who was...totally OK. I also stuck around afterward cleaning up until 1 a.m. Anyway, the concert was a success, the attendees supposedly had a good time, the artist made enough to make it worth her while so she'd spread the word to other artists, and my mom was able to book someone else a few months later. Then someone else again. Now she has someone booked every month. And every month there's some reason she still needs my help. I made it clear I was not on board to be a regular part of this, and she of-course-nots me and says it's fine but then has some other emergency. Or she decides that, because it's in the general vicinity of her birthday, this is her birthday party and she wants me there. Or she won't ask again but I just have to come to this one because she told this artist about me (why?) and she's dying to meet me (why???) I already agreed to come this month, and she's already in crisis for next month because not a lot of people have RSVPed yet (!) so she wants me to get my (broke, saving for their wedding) friends to come. I know I can and should just say no and refuse to discuss the subject further, because every reason I give her she sees as a problem I'm asking her how to solve. But whenever I hold firm on a boundary, she pouts. I'm just so tired.
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  #645  
Old 15 January 2019, 02:01 PM
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Your mother is controlling you with her pouts. I'm sorry Esprise; this will continue until you get so tired that her pouts no longer move you, and that's a sad thing.

The first step is to stop telling her why you can't come. Just say you have a conflict and leave it at that. She will probably emotionally waterboard you to try to get an reason she can refute, though.

Seaboe
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  #646  
Old 16 January 2019, 01:33 PM
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When we go to Middle Eastern restaurants they often have a Greek or Greek-like salad (lettuce, feta, tomatoes, olive and onions). Is this actually a dish served in places like Lebanon and Egypt and Greece?
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  #647  
Old 16 January 2019, 02:18 PM
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Esprise Me, I wonder whether this has turned inside your mother's head into not a thing she does on her own, but a neat thing that she does with you, which she enjoys in large part because she does it with you.

Continuing to do it with her until one day you explode all over the middle of the festivities sounds like a bad idea to me, however. I wonder whether it would help to tell her that that's the likely outcome of her continuing to insist that you show up.
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  #648  
Old 16 January 2019, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitap View Post
When we go to Middle Eastern restaurants they often have a Greek or Greek-like salad (lettuce, feta, tomatoes, olive and onions). Is this actually a dish served in places like Lebanon and Egypt and Greece?
I've never been to Greece, but a Greek woman I used to know told me that their salads don't mix lettuce and tomatoes. Wikipedia agrees. Not sure about salads in the Middle East.
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  #649  
Old 16 January 2019, 04:14 PM
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I wonder if the salads have tomatoes mixed with the lettuce because that's what most of us Yanks expect to see? Dollars to donuts there's a lot of Americanization of various ethnic cuisines.
Although if that's the case, explain the lack of tomatoes in a Caesar salad.
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  #650  
Old 16 January 2019, 04:40 PM
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Esprise Me, one of the hardest things for me to do is to sit by and not try to "fix" something in the presence of someone else's emotional distress. But it has been really important to me to learn to do it. (With kids and with parents -- those have been the hardest). You don't have to (and shouldn't) become unmoved by it -- you empathize -- but you don't take responsibility for it, or even view it as something to be "fixed."

Your mom will be disappointed that you aren't going to help her. That's OK. You can say, I can't help you with the house party. I know you're disappointed. If she asks why/argues about it, you can cut that off, but you can still help her explore how she feels about it. If she pouts, you.could just acknowledge what you think it probably represents: you're still sad that I'm not helping. Or, you resent that I'm not helping. Or, you miss me and wish we could do this together. (Or, ask her). You can do more, like say, that's hard.

My two cents. . . .

ETA:. We had a house concert once. It was an artist I think of as being pretty big -- Victoria Vox. She was passing through, SO connected with her on social media, and suddenly we were doing a house concert. We were in the midst of snow and ice storms, so we weren't sure how many friends we'd get. We wound up with a small group, and we kicked in a little extra cash, but it was so worth it. It was a really great experience. But I could not do that every month! I can understand why your mom might be feeling overwhelmed about it, and trying to make you essentially her partner in making it happen.

Last edited by erwins; 16 January 2019 at 04:51 PM.
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  #651  
Old 16 January 2019, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnStorm View Post
Although if that's the case, explain the lack of tomatoes in a Caesar salad.
The Caesar salad was invented in Mexico.

Seaboe
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  #652  
Old 17 January 2019, 03:18 PM
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Just recently, a young child was found drunk and of course the daycare operator is in a heap of trouble.
Thankfully the child is fine now, but why wouldn't he have vomited? I heard this story on the TV news, and only heard that the poor kid's BAC was three times the legal limit. (media exaggeration?).
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  #653  
Old 17 January 2019, 03:37 PM
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What is the legal blood alcohol limit for a child?

The legal limits for adults have come down quite a bit in many states. The child had a blood alcohol level of .2 which would be high for an adult, but would not necessarily produce vomiting.
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  #654  
Old 17 January 2019, 03:59 PM
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The BAC in Maryland is .08, so if someone had three times the legal limit in his system, that would be .24 right?

My head's starting to hurt.
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  #655  
Old 17 January 2019, 04:03 PM
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From the article:
Quote:
According to charging documents, the little boy’s blood alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit for an adult, coming in at .203 at the time of the blood test.
Your math is correct. I think they were exaggerating a bit in their calculations.
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  #656  
Old 17 January 2019, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
From the article:

Your math is correct. I think they were exaggerating a bit in their calculations.
I'm shocked! That does make sense though--if I was to drink that amount, of course I'd get seriously sick, but a toddler drinking that much? That (to the best of my knowledge) would be dangerous.
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  #657  
Old 17 January 2019, 04:52 PM
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Vomiting is a useful reflex but it's not always engaged when a person drinks too much; I've heard of people dying from alcohol poisoning without throwing up first.
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  #658  
Old 17 January 2019, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnStorm View Post
I'm shocked! That does make sense though--if I was to drink that amount, of course I'd get seriously sick, but a toddler drinking that much? That (to the best of my knowledge) would be dangerous.
It's a relative amount, though, isn't it? I presume that it would take a whole lot less alcohol to get a toddler to 2.03 than it would to get an adult to the same blood level.

Not, of course, that a toddler should be drinking that much, or at all. But I don't know that a toddler would be any short-term sicker at 2.03 than an adult would at 2.03 -- though influence on long-term brain development might well be a different matter.
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  #659  
Old 17 January 2019, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
What is the legal blood alcohol limit for a child?
I know you were making a joke, but in North Carolina when I took driver's ed we were taught that for someone under the legal drinking age literally any blood alcohol content at all is considered a DUI. So I guess that would mean the legal limit for a child is 0. A child young enough to be in daycare probably shouldn't be driving, though.
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  #660  
Old 17 January 2019, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thorny locust View Post
It's a relative amount, though, isn't it?
You are correct. Blood Alcohol is a ratio of alcohol versus body mass so it would take a proportionally less volume of alcohol to get a 20lb toddler to .203 as it would take to get an 160lb adult to the same level. So we are not looking at a kid who has downed three or four shots. I don't know how much it would take, but I'm guessing it's a pretty small amount overall.

I would like to know context. Because there might be legitimate, if outdated, reasons to give a toddler some alcohol. When I was a child, my mother would give me a home made cough syrup that was made from lemon juice, honey, and whisky as advised by her pediatrician as a low cost alternate to commercial products.

Last edited by iskinner; 17 January 2019 at 08:09 PM.
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