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  #41  
Old 21 July 2007, 11:58 PM
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Lainie Lainie is offline
 
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Originally Posted by Cervus View Post
My parents also shielded me from religion. We celebrated Christmas and God was sometimes mentioned, but never explained. Like sex, religion was a popular topic among my classmates and it made me feel even more of a confused outcast when I didn't know any more about God and church than I did about sex. I don't hold that against my parents - in fact, I think the best thing they did for me was to bring me up without any religion - but it still led to a lot of confusion and embarassment on my part when I was in school.
Raising a child without religion does not have to mean raising them without any knowledge of religion. It's possible to teach a child about religion in a way that enables them to understand its importance in art and literature, its significance in some people's lives, and its (good and bad) impact on our culture and society, without indoctrinating the child in a specific religion.

My experience is almost the reverse of yours: I was raised by a very religious mother who belonged to a very conservative and doctrinaire sect. I hated that, and got out as soon as I could. However, that background did gave me some basic understanding of religious concepts and history that I've found helpful in a variety of ways.

As for the sex thing, I think it's a good thing you were unpopular and picky.
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  #42  
Old 22 July 2007, 12:55 AM
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imjustasteph imjustasteph is offline
 
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Way too many people seem to think keeping a child ignorant is the same as keeping him safe.

I've been asked what I will tell my 5yo (at the time, only an infant) when he was old enough to do the math and find out mommy and daddy weren't married when he was born. Um, the truth? "I was already pregnant with you when i met your daddy. It's so easy for a teenager to misjudge things, and that's what I did. The man who helped me make you [how I phrase this would depend on age] [blah blah blah]. But I learned from experience, and chose not to rush into things with your daddy. When people have sex before they're ready, or make a commitment before they're ready, and especially when they get pregnant before they're ready, it can go bad for everyone. So daddy and I waited until we knew the time was right." The truth, how hard is that?

My mom, when I asked how my little brother would get out of her belly, told me "Jesus will make a door." This led to a few years of fretting and wondering- that is, a few months of mild wondering, and after she came home with (unplanned, emergency) c-section scars, a few years of fretting, until I learned that wasn't the norm.

When my boys asked the same about their sister, we told them the truth.
My oldest laughed and said, "Mom, you're being silly!"
But all three boys got to watch our puppies being born.
And now they know how it works.

I would NOT have wanted to use this in sex education for a girl though, because that dog barely panted!! I'll have to find an animal who mated with a male twice her size for my daughter to watch when the questions comes up....

I asked my mom about the Catholic religion, when I read a book that mentioned a confessional. She went APE. I shouldn't learn about other religions (hers is Pentacostal, I was expected to accept that this was the ONLY one) because the devil would lure me into them so he could drag me t hell to burn forever.

My kids asked me about God. I said that a lot of people believe he made the world and takes care of us, and some people believe he's just pretend, but that I don't know which is true and everyone has to decide that for themselves, when they're ready. If they ever want to go to church, I'll gladly take them, or let them go with a friend. I'm not dragging them there, though, when I don't even have my own belief system settled yet.

What's that quote on Mortal Kombat, "There is no knowledge that is not power" or something like that?

Why oh why would you want to keep your kids ignorant and powerless?
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  #43  
Old 22 July 2007, 03:39 AM
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Missie Missie is offline
 
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Ah, sex ed... when I was about eight or so, I remember my parents renting me an animated video on where babies come from that was surprisingly accurate. In a really silly, cartoony way. I did understand how babies were made afterwards, though. I actually really enjoyed that video and asked if she would rent it for me again some time afterwards. She said "You already know where babies come from."

Anyway! I remember sex-ed in school being... well, not bad. We never got demonstrations to how condoms should go on (good thing I was able to figure it out on my own when the time came), but otherwise there wasn't really anything that was left out, except for homosexuality and masturbation (both of which were treated like they didn't exist).

Judging by how few girls in my school got pregnant (I think I saw maybe three the whole time I was there, and it was a huge school), the sex-ed class seemed to work well enough.

And judging by how many girls at my 17-year-old sister's school are pregnant/just had a baby (I swear she must know half a dozen or so, and that's just counting girls she actually KNOWS, there's a lot more she isn't actually acquainted with), their sex-ed class must be awful. She decided to go to a school up north in the city we live in, which I've heard has the highest concentration of STDs in the entire country, although that may be a scare-tactic.

Hey, does anyone actually know where the highest concentration of STDs actually is?
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  #44  
Old 22 July 2007, 04:13 AM
Trixie Tang
 
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Originally Posted by mela681 View Post
If my mother had talked to me as frankly as my teacher had (and as I'm trying to do with my kids), I wouldn't have been too scared to tell her that I needed birth control. But, as it was, I didn't even tell her that I was pregnant until I was about 5 months along.
I don't know if you're from Louisiana, or just living here now, but you could've gotten yourself on birth control for free from the health unit. I did. Not because my mom was puritanical, but because I'm a really private person (when it comes to my non-husband family members). She found out and was surprised I took the initiative. I remember her saying something along the lines of, "Good for you." The health unit does not require parental permission for family planning.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Missie View Post
Ah, sex ed... when I was about eight or so, I remember my parents renting me an animated video on where babies come from that was surprisingly accurate. In a really silly, cartoony way. I did understand how babies were made afterwards, though. I actually really enjoyed that video and asked if she would rent it for me again some time afterwards. She said "You already know where babies come from."
What you saw was most likely Where Did I Come From. I saw it at five or so, before it ever occurred to me to ask or wonder where babies came from. It's a really educational video made from a book by the same name.

As for my own children, my son finally nailed down how my current pregnancy's going to end. He's five. I told him exactly how the baby's going to come out a while back, and he too said, "Mommy, that's silly!" He asked again today and I reminded him. He seemed a little spooked.
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  #45  
Old 22 July 2007, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Trixie Tang View Post
What you saw was most likely Where Did I Come From. I saw it at five or so, before it ever occurred to me to ask or wonder where babies came from. It's a really educational video made from a book by the same name.
Yes, that's the one.

Funny thing, something that stuck out in my mind the most at the time had nothing to do with the actual making and birthing of babies - it was the fact that the animated woman, not wearing anything under her jacket, breast-fed her baby on public transportation in the middle of the night.

That aside, if I ever have kids, I'll probably have them watch that when they start having questions. It answers everything in a really easy to understand way.
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  #46  
Old 23 August 2007, 02:32 AM
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Kelfa83 Kelfa83 is offline
 
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My parents never had the actual "talk" with my sister and I. My mom had a more subtle way of breaching that subject. Both of us were curious youngsters who loved to read. What better way to introduce the subject then to buy an age-appropiate sex-ed book and put it in our room. Of course I read the whole thing and learned everything I needed to know around the age of 10.

What I never learned was whether or not my mom actually approved of us having sex before marriage. It dident matter much because my sister and I both lost our virginity to boys we are no longer dating and my mom dident bat an eyelash. I also figured out early on that my mom was pregnant with me before she was married. Based on my age and how long they've been married kinda says it all. My mom told me, very recently, that she had always known what my sister and I were up too...and she dident mind...as long as we stayed safe and kept it out of her house.

I remember having a decent sex-ed class while in school. I learned about STDs, protection, birth-control and everything about reproduction and birth..whether I wanted to or not. However, no one ever teaches you about the heart-ache of choosing the absolute wrong guy to give it up to. The embarresment of being lured into having sex...however safe it was (condoms and birth control) and still getting dumped in the end. The emotional side never gets taught anywhere. I can think of someone else that I wish I had waited for.
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  #47  
Old 27 August 2007, 04:55 PM
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missy_pooh_1997 missy_pooh_1997 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kjbrasda View Post
You'd be suprised what people believe if they aren't taught sex education at school or at home.
A room mate of mine who was in her early 20's thought you had to poke holes in your nipples with a needle feed a baby. When asked how animals cope, she said "Well, I guess they just gnaw the end off, don't they?"
Lmao!!! You owe me a new cup of coffee for the one I just gagged on !!

Seriously when I still here these old myths I'm stunned that children or teens still believe them. With all the knowledge at their fingertips even if their parents are too foolish to tell them the truth. Unless their parent are total idiots themselves. My friend recently told me that her dh believed that babies breathed with "gills" in the womb b/c his mom told him that. He got angry when she told him it wasnt so. This man is a suceddfull real estate agent. She had to show him a book and have the Dr. tell him before he would believe babies didnt have "gills".
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  #48  
Old 27 August 2007, 05:45 PM
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My father used the asprin joke. He is quite a funny man. Not at all controlling or puritanical.
Mom took us in for birth control. I was actually on BC for period issues before I needed them for teh sex....
Even with birth control, my sister ended up pregnant and married before she was 17. She really wanted to be married.
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