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Old 15 June 2013, 10:30 AM
daisyslegs daisyslegs is offline
Join Date: 03 June 2004
Location: Molalla, OR
Posts: 6,111
Default To go or not to go, that is the question

Managed to get a hold of (choking at money) a newish engine for the broke down truck that is causing me lack of transport because Mr. Legs needs the car to get to work.

Part of the deal is that we get a sizable discount if we help with the install.

During this deal making with the professional acquaintance, I asked most of the questions. Just about like with that NP I had, he would answer them, but direct the answers PAST me and to my husband. Needless to say, it's commonly understood he's a bit sexist. Um, that was overly PC to put it that way. He's a jerk.

I have to say I really do have a good poker face and extreme patience. I played at pretending not to notice I was being snubbed. Not every MAN (and I couldn't say any here I have come across) is condescending towards women, but I've had my share and experience.

I have a deep desire to KNOW things, to LEARN if I don't know, to RESEARCH and find answers! (Um, snopes much, eh?).

I found the issue with the timing belt on the car, the break down on getting to it, the way to ensure it was timed right, and for sure how to "time" a double overhead cam shaft engine with a shim and a finger. I researched and learned. It worked perfect. The local auto parts store guys know me by name!

I use to design custom parts for heavy equipment. I am not a "sissy prissy" kinda woman. I don't "run" my husband, but he knows I ask smart questions, think on many levels at once and anticipate things (my what ifs), so he respects my questions and input.

Tomorrow the new(er) engine is suppose to be replaced at discount if we help.

To go or not to go? That is the question. I've never fully been involved in a complete engine replacement and am fascinated and wanna watch and get my knuckles wracked (always happens) and my hands greasy helping and maybe we could get it done quicker (less $$$) with the extra hands....

But then again, this fellow might not appreciate a female in there... after all, my feet are smaller than a man's for a reason, right? And maybe three people (one with boobs) might just be getting in the way? Maybe my insistence on wanting to be involved might irritate him and raise the final cost for the removal & install? That price was never set exact anyway, which scares me...

So now I can't sleep! Go and get in there and bust that sucker out and newer installed? Or play the sweet naive female he thinks I should be and stay out of the way of the manly men?

I wanna get in there and learn - and I'll bet it would shock him to find how much I already know about it (research, baby, research), but I'm afraid I might offend him and/or raise the cost of the install.

To go or not to go..... If I don't go I will offend myself and feel like I failed womankind for not standing up and doing it. Plus I wont have learned how to exchange an engine! But then again, if something goes wrong it will be MY fault.

UG I hate dealing with sexist jerks.
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Old 15 June 2013, 02:29 PM
Minstrel's Avatar
Minstrel Minstrel is offline
Join Date: 24 April 2003
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 7,180

Go and learn and get your discount. Maybe the jerk will learn a thing or two and maybe he won't, but you are YOU, and if being your normal gearhead inquisitive self gets you a discount, go for it. If the guy is really insufferable about it, you can always wander off.
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Old 15 June 2013, 08:23 PM
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Hero_Mike Hero_Mike is offline
Join Date: 06 April 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ & Hamilton, ON
Posts: 7,267

Replacing an engine is going to require some gopher work. Man, woman or monkey, it's to going to feel very useful bringing over a wrench, rag, or can of anti-seize. I lived through this a child with a do-it-yourselfer for a father. Just do what you are asked to do, watch, learn, and don't volunteer for more. All I can say is that your short-term pain for holding your tongue, should pay off in a lot of long-term gain once you have a working engine.

It's not "forever", just a few hours. Choose your battles. This one is definitely not worth it.
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Old 16 June 2013, 03:06 AM
daisyslegs daisyslegs is offline
Join Date: 03 June 2004
Location: Molalla, OR
Posts: 6,111

Yeah. I didn't go. In some ways it hurts because I really did want to learn and help, but I also had significant lack of sleep and am irritable due to women's natural cycle.

Could have been a disaster as this guy is arrogant and shorter than I (not that it would matter) and I'm a raging lunatic with boobs and not afraid to take on the zombie invasion in this mood.

In the meantime, I had armed Mr. Legs with the proper questions, diagrams, demand for info so I could learn more on the side, etc. and sent him off on his merry way. I do know that he was sad I wasn't going.

PLEASE don't get me wrong! Mr. Legs is a very skilled mechanic as needed. He built his 74 HD from a basket, graduated from a motorcycle trade school... I just do the "research" to make things easier rather than trial and error.

Last message sent, the new one is almost fully installed, but we might not get it back until next week. My Hormonal side is saying "if I had gone with him it might have already been done!" along with a good dose of "Oh! But my BOOBS might have gotten in the way!"

OK, enough. I'm in a bad mood. Sorry.
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