snopes.com  

Go Back   snopes.com > Urban Legends > Glurge Gallery

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07 April 2013, 12:47 AM
Avril's Avatar
Avril Avril is offline
 
Join Date: 07 August 2002
Location: Princeton, NJ
Posts: 10,543
Default God, can I ask you a question?

From Facebook:

Quote:
Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

REPOST if you Believe in HIM ♥
Worth posting.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07 April 2013, 04:11 AM
Mateus's Avatar
Mateus Mateus is offline
 
Join Date: 07 September 2001
Location: Bridgeport, CT
Posts: 3,768
Canada

I can't decide if I'm offended more by the First World Problems this person complains about, or God's failure to address this asshat's lack of perspective.


No, never mind; it's God's use of LOLSpeak.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07 April 2013, 04:31 AM
Tootsie Plunkette's Avatar
Tootsie Plunkette Tootsie Plunkette is offline
 
Join Date: 26 October 2001
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 10,060
Ponder

Quote:
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Of course, I couldn't be bothered to keep the sandwich maker healthy as well, though he/she also couldn't afford to miss work, but instead came in to spread germs to everyone except you.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07 April 2013, 04:50 AM
dungeondragon18 dungeondragon18 is offline
 
Join Date: 16 September 2007
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 436
Default

The question of why God allows evil is a very old and complex theological argument, and one that I still struggle with, but I can say for sure that when people ask "Why do bad things happen to good people?", they're talking about things like famine, natural disasters, and violence, not being late to work or having your phone drop a call.

I normally hate the phrase "First world problems", but there really is no other way to describe this, is there?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07 April 2013, 07:48 AM
rockland6674's Avatar
rockland6674 rockland6674 is offline
 
Join Date: 28 December 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,111
Frying Pan

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: No.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07 April 2013, 10:00 AM
Richard W's Avatar
Richard W Richard W is offline
 
Join Date: 19 February 2000
Location: High Wycombe, UK
Posts: 26,201
Default

I like Homer Simpson's version:

"God, if you want me to do this, give me no sign whatsoever. (pause). Woo hoo!"
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07 April 2013, 09:04 PM
Esprise Me's Avatar
Esprise Me Esprise Me is offline
 
Join Date: 02 October 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 6,823
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dungeondragon18 View Post
I can say for sure that when people ask "Why do bad things happen to good people?", they're talking about things like famine, natural disasters, and violence, not being late to work or having your phone drop a call.
I assume God's reasons for things like famine, natural disasters, and violence have something to do with not inconveniencing me. Because it's all about me, isn't it?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07 April 2013, 10:07 PM
Saint James Saint James is offline
 
Join Date: 16 July 2007
Location: Ventura, CA
Posts: 1,259
Icon202

I am reminded of an old joke which uses a similar style:

Quote:
Child: God, is it true that to you a million dollars is just a penny, and a million years is but a second.

God; Yes.

Child:Then can I have a penny?

God: Sure, in just a second.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08 April 2013, 12:29 AM
ASL's Avatar
ASL ASL is offline
 
Join Date: 04 July 2003
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 5,600
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockland6674 View Post
Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: No.
More like...

Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: You just did.
Me: I have another question.
God: Too bad, you only get one.
Me: Why?
God: Chicken thigh!

"Me" is then turned into a chicken thigh for asking one more question than allotted and questioning god's literally infinite wisdom.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08 April 2013, 02:32 AM
RobDBlackwolf's Avatar
RobDBlackwolf RobDBlackwolf is offline
 
Join Date: 28 December 2005
Location: Lancaster, OH
Posts: 2,300
Default

Me: God, if you made my car fail to start, so that I would not hit be hit by a drunk driver, why couldn't you make the drunk drivers car have a flat tire?

God: Stupid moral, that would make for bad glurge.

Me: Did he hit anyone else?

God: Yeah, a family of six on their way to see a sick grandpa. But that's okay, they never prayed enough, nor did they forward anything sappy like you.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08 April 2013, 04:27 AM
damian's Avatar
damian damian is offline
 
Join Date: 14 April 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 6,504
Icon202

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: That's entirely up to you. I am, after all, just a figment of your imagination.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08 April 2013, 02:18 PM
GenYus234's Avatar
GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
Join Date: 02 August 2005
Location: Mesa, AZ
Posts: 26,100
Default

The opening reminded me of how my English teachers would have handled that.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: I don't know, can you?

Me: Fine. May I ask you a question?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 14 April 2013, 12:03 AM
barbrainey's Avatar
barbrainey barbrainey is offline
 
Join Date: 05 December 2003
Location: Phoenix Arizona
Posts: 657
Icon06

The theological question of why God allows bad things to happen to good people often downplays the forces of nature and human free will. John Calvin devised the notion of the permissive will of God, based on the Old Testament book of Job. Some Calvinists even go so far as to say that even human evil--such as evil people doing cruel things to other people (e.g. crime and the Holocaust) are God's will!

I remember an article I read in the July/August, 1982, issue of the now-defunct Moody Monthly magazine. The article was titled "It CAN Happen to a Christian." I was supposedly written by a woman from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. She said that she had been raped some ten years earlier. She ended her article with the statement, "God's will for us can take us through many dark and unsuspecting routes, including rape. But he is always there with us."

WOW! It makes God really look cruel and even sadistic!

Barb Rainey
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 14 April 2013, 12:20 AM
mags's Avatar
mags mags is offline
 
Join Date: 23 February 2006
Location: Springboro, OH
Posts: 5,104
Default

Cruel, sadistic, and entirely irrelevant.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 14 April 2013, 05:17 AM
crocoduck_hunter's Avatar
crocoduck_hunter crocoduck_hunter is offline
 
Join Date: 27 May 2009
Location: Roseburg, OR
Posts: 12,648
Default

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. Genesis chapter 6, verse 7- God announces his decision to destroy all living things in Noah's flood.

Not exactly the hallmark of a kind or loving deity.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 14 April 2013, 05:08 PM
Mr. Billion's Avatar
Mr. Billion Mr. Billion is offline
 
Join Date: 09 July 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,426
Default

Apologists usually address the problem of pain following the OP's method, asserting that it ultimately works out for the best. There's also the method of resolving the problem of evil, closely related to the problem of pain, that bad things are allowed to happen because that's a necessary element of allowing free will. C.S. Lewis addresses the problem of pain (after first shifting the perspective by saying, essentially, "what, you think God should make all his creatures perfectly happy all the time?) by saying that the possibility of suffering is necessary for an adult, meaningful life. His point is that if God pampered all mankind, removing all possibility of suffering, mankind would never be anything more than infants.

I think that's a pretty good argument, as far as it goes. However, it fails to address suffering as it actually exists. In the real world, suffering is far worse than that described in the OP. Children starve. Every day some infants around the world are born with terrible congenital conditions and suffer and die without ever getting to grow up to know anything but suffering. There's no claiming that they've done something to deserve it, or that the suffering is necessary to build character, or that it's ultimately for the best.

So there's still some big hurdles for the apologetic position. I haven't come across anyone addressing them yet.

Also, like Crocoduck Hunter alludes to, people usually don't mention that the story of Noah indicates that God drowned almost all the world's children. If it's wrong to drown a puppy, or a bag of puppies, or all the puppies and babies and their parents in the world (except one family), then the story of Noah and his flood makes God sound like one mean dude.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Answer the second question first snopes We've Got Mail 4 07 August 2015 08:10 PM
Question the Internet snopes Snopes Spotting 0 21 January 2009 04:32 AM
Answer the last question first snopes We've Got Mail 8 29 February 2008 02:52 PM
Etymology question: Deadline Nonny Mouse Language 9 14 February 2008 09:21 PM
To this question, the answer would be a Revelation snopes Religion 29 27 July 2007 09:23 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.