Tucker Carlson's New Target: Gingerbread People

[Psihala]

The "War on Christmas" has taken an odd turn...

~Psihala

[GenYus234]

Hello Poe's Law, nice to see you again.

[ganzfeld]

That was hilarious but I still have to wonder where this story came from. The Usual Factchecking Organizations don't seem to think this issue is as important as Tucker does.

[crocoduck_hunter]

While funny, this story is overshadowing Carlson's recent statements about immigrants and the fact that he's managed to get advertisers to pull support from his show.

[musicgeek]

Back when Jon Stewart managed to (essentially) get "CrossFire" cancelled just by giving one interview in which he called Carlson out on his hypocrisy and basic awfulness in front of his own audience, I thought it was a little childish of Stewart to call Carlson a "d*ck" on the air. The more I've seen of Carlson in the time since, the more I've been inclined to agree with Stewart's assessment.

[crocoduck_hunter]

Doesn't seem fair to male genitalia to associate them with Carlson.

[Mouse]

Yeah, male genitalia bring pleasure to people. Can you honestly say the same about Tucker Carlson?

[GenYus234]

If he wasn't bringing pleasure to some people, he wouldn't have a TV show.

[BamaRainbow]

I'm honestly surprised that Fox doesn't just replace Tucker with an hour of half-naked (maybe bikini-clad) big-breasted, blonde women bouncing around the stage.

I'm sure THAT show would garner much higher ratings among the desired Fox "News" demographic than anything Tucker has to say.

Sure, the network might lose some female viewership but I rather doubt Fox cares much for female viewers.

[crocoduck_hunter]

Replacing their entire broadcast with softcore porn would improve the intellectual level of their programming, but I don't see it actually happening.

[DawnStorm]

Originally Posted by BamaRainbow

of half-naked (maybe bikini-clad) big-breasted, blonde women .

My mother got so tired of seeing what she called women with stringy hair and short skirts on every. single. show. on Fox.
IIRC I had to remind her that those women were to attract men.

It just occurred to me that I haven't seen cable news in forever--I prefer local news. Plenty of national news there, but in fairness, a lot of national news is local if you live in the DC area. (my MIL pointed that out once)

ETA: I would suggest that gingerbread people be made anatomical--'twould eliminate a lot of confusion.

[GenYus234]

Originally Posted by crocoduck_hunter

Replacing their entire broadcast with softcore porn would improve the intellectual level of their programming, but I don't see it actually happening.

Fox would probably screw it up somehow.

Hot pizza delivery man: Here's your pizza with extra sausage.
Big breasted blonde: (breathy) I don't have any money to pay you. An illegal stole my job.
Hpdm: Okay, I'll just take it back. Good day.

[Mouse]

Originally Posted by DawnStorm

My mother got so tired of seeing what she called women with stringy hair and short skirts on every. single. show. on Fox.
IIRC I had to remind her that those women were to attract men.

I wouldn’t refer to the Fox News women as having stringy hair. Stringy implies that it is unkempt, which isn’t the least bit true when it comes to their hair, which is so eye-droppingly blonde in its cookie-cutter perfection that not only could it survive being in Hiroshima, Japan circa August 6, 1945, it could probably outlast a supernova. Though the fleshy body below may be reduced to ash, the hair would remain intact with not a strand out of place. In other words, I totally support Sarah Silverman’s theory involving the origins of Fox News’ Endless Stream of Blonde Female Pundits

[crocoduck_hunter]

"Irreparably damaged from years of overusing coloring agents and hair sprays" is probably a better term for their hair.

[ChasFink]

Originally Posted by Mouse

I totally support Sarah Silverman’s theory involving the origins of Fox News’ Endless Stream of Blonde Female Pundits

That was perfection. Milana Vayntrub is always great at parodying bimbo stereotypes.

[ganzfeld]

Originally Posted by Mouse

[...] which is so eye-droppingly blonde in its cookie-cutter perfection that not only could it survive being in Hiroshima,

I don't get this joke and I don't think it's appropriate.

[crocoduck_hunter]

I think the joke is that their hair is so permed it could withstand a nuclear attack, but yeah, joking about actual wartime use of nuclear weapons is not really appropriate.