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  #61  
Old 04 January 2019, 03:32 PM
E. Q. Taft's Avatar
E. Q. Taft E. Q. Taft is offline
 
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Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14,389
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The jokes in the OP reminded me of the attempts of a neural network to write jokes...

A few examples:

Quote:
What do you call a cat does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They could worry the banana.

What did the new ants say after a dog?
It was a pirate.

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A star an alligator and because they are bees.
Or, when it was specifically limited to knock-knock jokes:

Quote:
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Alther
Water who?
Water who who?
Who who?
Arton and out on the moor?
I don't think our stand-up comics need to worry too much yet.
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  #62  
Old 04 January 2019, 03:36 PM
Steve Steve is offline
 
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Location: Charleston, SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Why are they Russian?
Because the tournament starts soon.
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  #63  
Old 29 January 2019, 03:30 PM
Kermor Kermor is offline
 
Join Date: 22 June 2012
Location: Bois d'Arcy, France
Posts: 408
France

One I read the other day :

What's green and comes down the mountains of New Zealand ?

A Skiwi.

Don't bother, i'll do it myself.

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  #64  
Old 29 January 2019, 03:58 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Location: Montgomery County, MD
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Chicken

That joke is for the birds!
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  #65  
Old 29 January 2019, 04:40 PM
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NobleHunter NobleHunter is offline
 
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Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Posts: 637
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What's a narrow Canadian boat and a great place to make love like light beer?

A Canoeck.
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  #66  
Old 29 January 2019, 09:03 PM
Kermor Kermor is offline
 
Join Date: 22 June 2012
Location: Bois d'Arcy, France
Posts: 408
France

One I read today :

What's the difference between snowstorm and making love with an unknown man ?

None. You don't know how long it will last or how many inches you're going to get.

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  #67  
Old 29 January 2019, 09:30 PM
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Blatherskite Blatherskite is offline
 
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Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 4,061
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A shop in my village puts signs out with great groanworthy jokes.

Highlights include:

What's big, grey and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

I've heard that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

Astronaut 1: I can't find the milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

My housemate kicked me out because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry - I'll return.

Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter so far, which is a shame because he had a great fall.
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  #68  
Old 29 January 2019, 09:36 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Location: Mesa, AZ
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I wasn't able to remember what I did with my boomerang, but it's coming back to me now...
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  #69  
Old 05 February 2019, 06:05 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Location: Mesa, AZ
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José was attending his first baseball game ever since coming to the US. He wasn't able to afford great seats, so we was back behind a lot of people. When the crowd rose to sing the national anthem, José broke into tears. His friend asked him, "What's the matter?"

José said, "America is so great, everyone wants to make sure I have a good view." When his friend just gave him a puzzled look, José explained,

"You know, the song they just sung. 'José can you see?'".
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  #70  
Old 05 February 2019, 06:46 PM
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Dr. Winston O'Boogie Dr. Winston O'Boogie is offline
 
Join Date: 23 February 2000
Location: Fox Lake, IL
Posts: 5,248
Rabbit

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You 'neek up on him.

How do you catch a tame rabit?
'Tame way - you 'neek up on him.
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  #71  
Old 05 February 2019, 07:19 PM
Kermor Kermor is offline
 
Join Date: 22 June 2012
Location: Bois d'Arcy, France
Posts: 408
France

"For the main course, we have beef tongue, sir
- What ? You serve something that comes from a cow's mouth ? I won't have it. Give me an egg instead !"
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  #72  
Old 08 February 2019, 03:38 PM
Kermor Kermor is offline
 
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Location: Bois d'Arcy, France
Posts: 408
France

An Oldie but Goodie :

"Do you smoke after sex ?
- I don't know. I've never looked."
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  #73  
Old 08 February 2019, 09:52 PM
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Richard W Richard W is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blatherskite View Post
Highlights include:

What's big, grey and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

I've heard that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

Astronaut 1: I can't find the milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

My housemate kicked me out because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry - I'll return.

Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter so far, which is a shame because he had a great fall.
Those are fantastic, and more surprisingly I've not even heard any of them before!
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  #74  
Old 11 February 2019, 04:40 PM
Jusenkyo no Pikachu Jusenkyo no Pikachu is offline
 
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Location: Queensland, Australia
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how do you get ?

put it in a bag whith water and put it on the floor

Also I’ll throw my own hat into the ring:

Whos on 1st?
I dont no
No, hes on 3rd

(Did I do the bad punctuation correctly?)
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  #75  
Old 16 February 2019, 12:50 AM
Jusenkyo no Pikachu Jusenkyo no Pikachu is offline
 
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Location: Queensland, Australia
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Knock knock
Who’s there?
No, he’s on first.
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