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  #1  
Old 21 January 2013, 06:26 AM
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Facebook Waiter refuses to serve customer who insulted Down syndrome boy

A Houston waiter's Facebook page has been inundated with friend requests and messages after a story of how he stood up for a special needs child went viral.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/19...-syndrome-boy/
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  #2  
Old 21 January 2013, 02:38 PM
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Bravo, Mr. Garcia.

A family acquaintance once said of my uncle D, who was left "disfigured" by very bad burns many years ago, that "people like that should stay home."
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  #3  
Old 21 January 2013, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Garcia said the man continued talking about Milo and said, "special needs children need to be special somewhere else."
Except the kid was just acting like any normal kid. Get over it, a-hole customer.
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  #4  
Old 21 January 2013, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
A family acquaintance once said of my uncle D, who was left "disfigured" by very bad burns many years ago, that "people like that should stay home."
I had a classmate (I can't bring myself to call her a friend) in grad school who was notorious for making comments like that. Everything from anorexia to striking workers inspired a catty, heartless comment from her. The odd thing was, this only ever seemed to happen at lunch. Since we lived in the same dorm, she and I had lunch in the same group nearly every day, and other friends who knew her through class only tended to be very surprised when I said anything negative about her. Just before we graduated, I met someone who had known her as an undergrad (at Cambridge), and who reported that no one back there had been able to stand her.
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  #5  
Old 21 January 2013, 06:44 PM
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Wow. Just...wow...I would hope that this "acquaintance" wasn't much of one for long after making such a comment. As to the original topic, many cheers and good karma for Mr. Garcia for standing up and defending the child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
Bravo, Mr. Garcia.

A family acquaintance once said of my uncle D, who was left "disfigured" by very bad burns many years ago, that "people like that should stay home."
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  #6  
Old 23 January 2013, 03:43 AM
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I'm quite willing to bet that this "special needs" child was probably behaving better than a great many children in the place- I can't generalize about all children with DS but most of the children I have been around including my own daughter tend to be a bit more mellow in general.

Kudos to the waiter for not dealing with this asschapeau.
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  #7  
Old 23 January 2013, 03:13 PM
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Quote:
"Maybe there were other ways I could have handled it, but Milo is such an angel, he is a gift from God as are all special needs children," Garcia said.
The guy did an awesome good deed, but this attitude is almost as harmful as the notion that all special needs children - and adults! - are not suitable for public display. Special needs people are just that: people. Like those were lucky enough to be born without jacked up genetics (and lucky enough to make it through life without encountering an accident or illness that renders their previously good health moot) people with disabilities run the whole gamut from super special, warm and fuzzy to assholes who listen to terrible music. This main site article explains, far better than I could, why it's downright dehumanizing.
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  #8  
Old 23 January 2013, 03:18 PM
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I don't find the idea that children in general are gifts from God dehumanizing so much as the attitude that the gifts are perfect beings, rather than human.

Seaboe
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  #9  
Old 23 January 2013, 03:23 PM
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It also seems like it would put undue burden and pressure on parents of special needs kids. If their child is blessed and such a perfect angel, then they shouldn't feel frustration or anger or impatience, but instead should thank the Lord each day that they are so blessed.
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  #10  
Old 23 January 2013, 05:51 PM
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Yea, I was almost gonna post that too but was using my phone and I still suck at 'texting'.. Or whatever you'd call it.

I remember a Family Guy episode basically presented that view ones (with somebody with downs too I think), basically saying that the whole lessons of special needs children/people all being perfect in every way short of whatever their disability is is bunk. They are just people, and as a result many (if not, sadly, most) of them are probably NFBSKholes.

I suppose, realistically, if somebody retained 'the mind of a child' they may avoid some of the cynicism that comes with age for most people "Ignorance is bliss" and all that, but there are plenty of jerk children out there so there is no reason to assume that having a special need will change anything automatically.
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  #11  
Old 23 January 2013, 06:02 PM
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I've worked in a special needs school as a TA and one of the teachers was telling me how he was supervising a school trip and he had to tell one boy off, as he often does, and realised he was getting offended looks from passers by. It's like people thought that he must have been really bad to have shouted at a poor special needs kid, despite the fact that the kid had been misbehaving, like any child might.

But about the man who was dissing this kid in the restaurant, I can't understand how self-centred a person must be that they feel their moment is being ruined by somebody else's (harmless) presence.

A generalisation, but I always found the kids who had Down's at the school were the easiest to work with. There were some kids who I had to take a breather from, because it can be hard work, and there were children with severe problems that could be very loud or prone to outbursts, or needed constant attention. There were some kids who I'd more than understand if a person felt distracted or bothered by (as long as they were polite about it), there were kids who would scream constantly or would flail. Usually, those with Down's were happy to work alone with mild supervision and the only problem I ever faced was communication barriers. If there were any problems, it wasn't the syndrome it was the child's personality!

Last edited by Twankydillo; 23 January 2013 at 06:12 PM.
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  #12  
Old 23 January 2013, 06:20 PM
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In.. Sort of.. Defense of the jerk in the OP, it sounds like the kid was making noise and he was upset.

Quote:
"Milo wasn't being bad, he was just talking and making little noises,"

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/19...#ixzz2Ip9TDkSp
The article describes it as minor, though its obviously heavily focused on how bad this person was, and it's hard to tell what kind of place it is from their website but the degree of how quiet it should be changes radically depending on what kind of place you go to.

We had a fiery thread I don't want to repeat, but there was a discussion a while back of whether or not it was ok to take older children/adults who have special needs that prevent them from being appropriately quiet to places where that is encouraged.

The threat specifically was about movie theaters and a special needs kid who was laughing overly loud and long that was disturbing the experience of others. Another example brought up would be a fancier restaurant (as opposed to a normal place where noise, particularly from somebody with special needs, would be more tolerable).

Personally for me.. I had a movie experienced ruined (the second Lord of the Rings I think.. So not as big a loss as it could have been) by a class of special need teens/20somethings who came and between them made huge amounts of noise through it. I know, "There but for the grace of god.." and all that, but I can't pretend it wasn't really frustrating to know I paid good money to see this movie and couldn't.

That said, again, don't want to do it again. There are some debates on snopes I'm done with just cause they turn into firestorms (tipping for example).

Just saying that while his comment is obviously rude, I don't think he was making them because he just hated somebodies presence.
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  #13  
Old 23 January 2013, 06:42 PM
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Mickey, the customer specifically complained about Milo being special needs. The guy was there with his own children so I don't think he was just upset about a child being in a place for adults.

ETA: I missed a phrase in your post, sorry! That said it does not sound like this restaurant is the kind of fine dining establishment where high level table manners are required. It seems to be a family place.
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  #14  
Old 23 January 2013, 06:55 PM
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One of my first postings back in the 90's on this board was why I hate "God's little angel" glurge so very, very much. My oldest stepson was a special needs child. He was not a little angel. He was short tempered, easily frustrated, expected to be the center of attention at all times, and had a tendency to lie about things. He could be exhausting. He was a real live person with short comings; not an angel.

I wonder how this man is reacting to people's reactions to the waiter? If they'd already moved away from the child, his continued complaining was just bad temper in my opinion. Guess he went to be grumpy some place else.
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  #15  
Old 23 January 2013, 06:55 PM
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I agree with you, just saying that it could be a case that this guy's standards were too hight and it got the better of him and he said things he'd never say (I've noticed when I get really mad sometimes I want to lash out and so as much damage as possible which makes me think (thankfully not say) things that are horrible and I do not believe in rationally).

It's also possible he was making much more noise than implied, but I doubt it, or at least doubt it was so much more that it would be a major issue in such a place. Even if it was, asking to be reseated may be reasonable but lashing out at a child is not.
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  #16  
Old 23 January 2013, 07:03 PM
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Assuming the waiter heard and is reporting the man's comment correctly, he said:

Quote:
Garcia said the man continued talking about Milo and said, "special needs children need to be special somewhere else."
If the problem is noise, it's noise, and given that non-special-needs kids make plenty of noise, there's no reason to bring up the kids' special needs except to be a jerk.
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  #17  
Old 23 January 2013, 07:45 PM
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No doubt, and as I said even if we assume his frustration was justified he was still lashing out in an unacceptable and hurtful way. That said, and I doubt I'm alone in this, when I am frustrated I sometimes am motivated (but thankfully my higher brain functions kick in) to say horrible things because my goal is to hurt those who are frustrating me. It doesn't make it ok (even if you actually do say the things you are thinking) just saying a completely rational and otherwise nice person could do such a thing.

That said, based on the limited information we have, I'm pretty comfortable in saying he's probably just a dick.. Just playing devils advocate.
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  #18  
Old 23 January 2013, 08:02 PM
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The creepy thing is, he was saying that to the people at his table, including his own kids. I hope he doesn't say crap like that to/around his kids all the time, and if he does, that they manage to learn better somehow.

ETA: I'm no fan of noisy kids iin restaurants, but if I had to chose, I'd rather g-you let your kids annoy other customers than teach them (by example, if not precept) to be jerks about people who are different.
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  #19  
Old 23 January 2013, 09:17 PM
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Agreed.

(characters)
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  #20  
Old 23 January 2013, 11:35 PM
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Just... SO doesn't get started on the 'gawd's perfect angels' thing, as it may make me (figuratively) stabby.
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