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Old 18 February 2015, 10:22 PM
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Icon95 Indian bride marries wedding guest after groom has epileptic seizure during ceremony

An Indian bride has reportedly swapped her groom for a wedding guest mid-ceremony after her fiancé had an epileptic seizure. Jugal Kishore, 25, reportedly fell to the ground during the traditional exchange of “varmala” flower garlands in the northern town of Rampur. His illness was a shock to his wife-to-be, 23-year-old Indira, who was apparently furious that she and her family had not been told of Mr Kishore’s epilepsy.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...-10053824.html
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Old 19 February 2015, 12:02 PM
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Looks like a lucky escape for him.
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Old 19 February 2015, 01:05 PM
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It is this sort of thing that the Western concept of "best man" and "maid of honor" is actually meant to address - an acceptable substitute for the bride or groom should the other be unavailable for the wedding (generally due to death). Good for her.
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Old 19 February 2015, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jahungo View Post
Looks like a lucky escape for him.
Indeed. That's a pretty shallow gal.

OY
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Old 19 February 2015, 02:08 PM
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Shallow? I think we're looking at this through the eyes of Western culture. Thing may be changing in India, but not that fast. Considering that fact that the bride's family has to pay out a hefty dowry for the "privilege" of marrying their daughter to this man, she has every right to call it off if he and his family concealed the fact that he had a possibly debilitating condition.

Since a bride in India faces a very real risk of being murdered for having an insufficient dowry, http://news.sky.com/story/1230075/in...rease-revealed I'd say being jilted at the altar is pretty small potatoes.

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Old 19 February 2015, 02:41 PM
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Even through the eyes of Western culture: the original bridegroom apparently lied to her about something of importance. I don't personally think epilepsy in itself is a good reason to refuse to marry somebody, but lying about one's state of health is another thing entirely. -- actually, lying about even trivial things is not a great sign.

How much she knew about the person she asked to stand in for him isn't explained in the story. I've no idea whether she picked a near stranger, or whether the two of them were great friends who had hoped to get a chance to marry one another but had been discouraged from this by their families, or whether it's somewhere inbetween.
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Old 19 February 2015, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by thorny locust View Post
Even through the eyes of Western culture: the original bridegroom apparently lied to her about something of importance. I don't personally think epilepsy in itself is a good reason to refuse to marry somebody, but lying about one's state of health is another thing entirely. -- actually, lying about even trivial things is not a great sign.

How much she knew about the person she asked to stand in for him isn't explained in the story. I've no idea whether she picked a near stranger, or whether the two of them were great friends who had hoped to get a chance to marry one another but had been discouraged from this by their families, or whether it's somewhere inbetween.
The article said he was "her sister's brother-in-law", so she must have known him. I'd like to think that she had had her eye on him and vice versa, and they seized the day.
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Old 19 February 2015, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Horse Chestnut View Post
The article said he was "her sister's brother-in-law", so she must have known him. I'd like to think that she had had her eye on him and vice versa, and they seized the day.
I'd like to think that also (and it does make a whole lot more sense out of the story if it's true); but while it's possible, I wouldn't automatically assume that she knew her sister's brother-in-law at all well -- it's possible she spent lots of time at her sister's and so did he, or that they all spent a lot of time in the same place otherwise; but it's also possible that she'd just been in the same room with him at an occasional huge family gathering, and they'd never really spoken.

I don't know enough about the culture where they are to know which is more likely. I do know that my sister's got a brother-in-law, and I'm not entirely sure whether I've ever had a significant conversation with him; though I'm pretty sure we've occasionally been at the same family shindig.
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Old 19 February 2015, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horse Chestnut View Post
Shallow? I think we're looking at this through the eyes of Western culture. Thing may be changing in India, but not that fast. Considering that fact that the bride's family has to pay out a hefty dowry for the "privilege" of marrying their daughter to this man, she has every right to call it off if he and his family concealed the fact that he had a possibly debilitating condition.

Since a bride in India faces a very real risk of being murdered for having an insufficient dowry, http://news.sky.com/story/1230075/in...rease-revealed I'd say being jilted at the altar is pretty small potatoes.

This is exactly why I said, "Good for her."
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Old 19 February 2015, 11:09 PM
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If one of my brothers-in-law's sisters got married, i would not bother going. So we can assume either that this brother-in-law was close to that family or that in that village, everybody was invited. Either way, he almost certainly was a known quantity. It sure surprises me that he went along with it though.
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Old 19 February 2015, 11:26 PM
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I don't think we can assume anything about this wedding based on what you'd do, Mack, or what I'd do, FTM.
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Old 19 February 2015, 11:59 PM
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I think it's a pretty safe bet that she must have known him, why else would he be at the wedding? That's not a close relationship unless you want it to be. Certainly not close enough to get an automatic invite to a wedding. Unless of course as ATNM noted it was the kind of ceremony where the entire village* is invited.

* For what it's worth the wedding took place in a city not a village.

Last edited by Sue; 20 February 2015 at 12:11 AM.
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Old 20 February 2015, 12:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
I think it's a pretty safe bet that she must have known him, why else would he be at the wedding?
Because he was her sister's brother-in-law.

Some families invite all the relatives, whether or not they ever see each other outside of weddings (and maybe funerals), and whether or not they'd otherwise recognize each other on the street (faceblindness aside.)

-- If they did know each other well and like each other fine, it would, of course, explain why the groom went along with it. And again, it might have been that; and I hope it was that. But for all I know, he went along with it because he wanted the dowry; or because he just really wanted to get married, and had no likely prospects; or, for that matter, because he was drunk. (Do people get drunk at weddings in that part of India? Some people certainly get drunk at weddings in the USA.)
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Old 20 February 2015, 01:05 AM
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What's a close relationship, and who gets invited to weddings, is something that varies widely among families, let alone cultures. I wouldn't venture to guess where that line is drawn for anyone but myself and people I know well.
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Old 20 February 2015, 11:44 AM
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One of my long-ago bosses invited me and at least one other co-worker to her daughter's wedding. We'd never met the daughter or the guy she was marrying, or anyone else in our boss's family.
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Old 20 February 2015, 12:54 PM
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My sister married in India - there were 400 guests and people kept telling us it was a 'small wedding', because 'half' the usual number of guests weren't there (aside from a few immediate family, most of our family and friends could not travel to India)

Also, my sister's mother in law explained to me that her own sister is married to her husbands brother, and that pairs of sibling marrying each other is considered a good idea in their culture. I'm not sure if she was referring to 'Indian culture' or the part of India they are from (Chennai).
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Old 22 February 2015, 03:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
One of my long-ago bosses invited me and at least one other co-worker to her daughter's wedding. We'd never met the daughter or the guy she was marrying, or anyone else in our boss's family.
when DH and I married, MIL kept trying to get us to invite his next door neighbor (who moved out of the neighborhood when DH was 2) and the great-great-great uncle by marriage to great aunt so and so's neice's sisters' son...(you get the point)

It was a long, hard fight to get her to limit her choices. we finally had to give her a hard number and stick to it. Ugh.
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