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  #41  
Old 10 June 2014, 06:09 AM
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Bonsai Kitten

Quote:
Originally Posted by crocoduck_hunter View Post
He needed a starship.
That. Is. Awesome. (By the way, today is the 25th anniversary of Start Trek V: The Final Frontier.)
E
Quote:
that any offense, no matter how petty, must be responded to with violence.
This. I've received just about every variation of this glurge multiple times for more than 10 years. To make matters worse, almost every time it's has been accompanied by comments like "give this guy a medal" and "God bless our troops." Not one sender has been bothered by how it advocates violence.

Brian
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  #42  
Old 10 June 2014, 02:54 PM
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Tootsie Plunkette Tootsie Plunkette is offline
 
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Ponder

We'll never see a version like this:

Quote:
A young Canadian paratrooper was taking some college courses between Assignments. He had completed 3 tours of duty in Afghanistan. One of the Courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the Canadian Civil Liberties Association (CCLA).

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want You to arrange for me to have the winning lottery ticket from last night's mega-millions drawing... I'll give you exactly 15 min."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and handed him the one ticket with the winning combination of numbers; the professor recognized this, and fainted clean off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The young soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the soldier and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The young soldier stood up and calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting soldiers, who are protecting Your right to say stupid shit and act like an idiot. So He sent me; fortunately I had the winning ticket, and I thought it would be a demonstration of True Faith to hand it to you."

The classroom erupted in cheers!
THIS IS GOOD, KEEP IT GOING!
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  #43  
Old 10 June 2014, 04:53 PM
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UEL UEL is offline
 
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Baseball

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianB View Post
That. Is. Awesome. (By the way, today is the 25th anniversary of Start Trek V: The Final Frontier.)
Need you bring that up. Jeepers, now I gotta watch that horrible film tonight.

Just 'cause.

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  #44  
Old 01 August 2014, 02:40 PM
zarchery zarchery is offline
 
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I thought traditional Christian theology held that God was omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and not bound by time. How does the concept of "being busy" even exist for such a being?
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  #45  
Old 01 August 2014, 03:03 PM
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Because it gives an excuse for a horribly persecuted "minority" to revel in some hypothetical violent payback.
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  #46  
Old 02 August 2014, 12:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianB View Post
That. Is. Awesome. (By the way, today is the 25th anniversary of Start Trek V: The Final Frontier.)
E
This. I've received just about every variation of this glurge multiple times for more than 10 years. To make matters worse, almost every time it's has been accompanied by comments like "give this guy a medal" and "God bless our troops." Not one sender has been bothered by how it advocates violence.

Brian
Yeah cause what would Jesus do?
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  #47  
Old 02 August 2014, 12:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dasla View Post
Yeah cause what would Jesus do?
Well, he did say that you should obey the existing laws (I believe; despite my Sunday School and internet Bible gateways I can't find chapter and verse on this). And one of those laws was "an eye for an eye". I looked that one up and Jesus says this (Matthew 5:38, 39):

Quote:
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
So he's apparently not for that one. But who's to say Jesus was right? He's not the Messiah, and if you're a horribly persecuted minority, frankly you should go for air strikes, even if you take out ten or a hundred eyes for every eye. The old "eye for an eye" law was far too lax even before Jesus condemned it.

Oops, sorry, I seem to have got off topic... punching people for Jesus is fine, as long as you then give them the opportunity to punch you afterwards, which (if you punch them properly in the first place) they won't be able to take advantage of.
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  #48  
Old 02 August 2014, 01:01 AM
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I had no idea Jesus played hockey.
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  #49  
Old 02 August 2014, 01:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard W View Post
Well, he did say that you should obey the existing laws (I believe; despite my Sunday School and internet Bible gateways I can't find chapter and verse on this).
I think this is the verse you mean:
http://biblehub.com/matthew/5-17.htm
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  #50  
Old 02 August 2014, 01:32 AM
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That must be the one indeed - only shortly before he says that "an eye for an eye" was (presumably) never a law.

But punching somebody for reasons other than retaliation wouldn't be covered by that anyway, so it's irrelevant. Jesus officially says nothing about punching people who haven't done anything to you, and therefore it's probably fine by him.
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  #51  
Old 02 August 2014, 01:38 AM
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Moses struck an Egyptian and killed him, and then buried the body, so I'm assuming there are times when the law allowed you to just cold cock someone to death. So frankly I think the paratrooper acted with restraint.
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  #52  
Old 02 August 2014, 01:41 AM
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Indeed, if this was a fighting game it would be Jesus's special ability. Retaliation is disallowed, so his first punch would get a free second punch...
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  #53  
Old 02 August 2014, 02:28 AM
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I think in most fighting games that's called a combo.
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  #54  
Old 04 August 2014, 07:50 PM
talk2sparky talk2sparky is offline
 
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I've read this glurge before, so when I saw "Canadian version," I thought the soldier would apologetic after he gently pushed the professor down.

HA! Canadians are so polite!
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  #55  
Old 26 September 2014, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zarchery View Post
I thought traditional Christian theology held that God was omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and not bound by time. How does the concept of "being busy" even exist for such a being?
Plus, I thought God was protecting the German Army, who until 1945 had "Gott mit uns"(God's on our side) engraved on their belt buckles...
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  #56  
Old 26 September 2014, 02:37 PM
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Too bad for them that they didn't know that God only speaks English so He wasn't able to read their belt buckles.
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  #57  
Old 26 September 2014, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyrano View Post
Plus, I thought God was protecting the German Army, who until 1945 had "Gott mit uns"(God's on our side) engraved on their belt buckles...
Gott mit uns was also used by the armies of the swedish king Gustavus Adolphus as a password in 1631 and 1632 and by the Prince elector of Brandenburg, Frederick I of Prussia, as a motto on his coat of arms in 1701 .

So apparently, God is with whoever knows the password and the password is...

shrubbery.

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  #58  
Old 09 October 2014, 05:53 PM
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Devil

So the moral of the story is its perfectly okay to knock someone down for giving an opinion? Oh well as long as you say "God sent me." Of course if the student were an ebil muslim he would be clearly working for ISIS or a Wiccan or Atheist, he would be on Satan's payroll and would be fighting against our unsung hero the innocent heroic God-fearing teacher (because in Glurge stories teachers are good/professors are bad remember that folks ) who is spreading God's word
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