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Old 30 August 2013, 12:16 AM
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BrianB BrianB is offline
 
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Icon215 The Amazing Creators Camel

I got the following creationist email from my glurge network yesterday. I've cleaned up the formatting but left everything else as is.
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The Amazing Creators Camel

This is quite a lesson on the anatomy of the camel. I thought you might enjoy reading it.

Please show this to the kiddos.

This is one of the most fascinating, awesome things Iíve ever read about an animal, You will be utterly amazed.

The Amazing Camel

Meet the Very Technical, Highly Engineered Dromedary Camel.

When I'm hungry, I'll eat almost anything- A leather bridle, a piece of rope, my master's tent, or a pair of shoes. My mouth is so tough a thorny cactus doesn't bother it. I love to chow down grass and other plants that grow here on the Arabian desert

I'm a dromedary camel, the one-hump kind that lives on hot deserts in the Middle East. My hump, all eighty pounds of it, Is filled with fat-my body fuel -- not water as some people believe. My Mighty Maker gave it to me because He knew I wouldn't always be able to find food. As I travel across the hot sands. When I don't find any chow, my body automatically takes fat from the hump, feeds my system, and keeps me going strong. This is my emergency food supply.

If I can't find any plants to munch, my body uses up my hump. When the hump gets smaller, it starts to tip to one side. But when I get to a nice oasis and begin to eat again, my hump soon builds back to normal.

I've been known to drink twenty-seven gallons of water in ten minutes. My Master Designer made me in such a fantastic way that in a matter of minutes all the water I've swallowed travels to the billions of microscopic cells that make up my flesh. Naturally, the water I swallow first goes into my stomach. There thirsty blood vessels absorb and carry it to every part of my body. Scientists have tested my stomach and found it empty ten minutes after I've drunk twenty gallons.

In an eight hour day, I can carry a four hundred pound load a hundred miles across a hot, dry desert and not stop once for a drink or something to eat.

In fact, I've been known to go eight days without a drink, but then I look like a wreck. I lose 227 pounds, my ribs show through my skin, and I look terribly skinny. But I feel great! I look thin because the billions of cells lose their water. They're no longer fat. They're flat.

Normally my blood contains 94 percent water, just like yours. But when I can't find any water to drink, the heat of the sun gradually robs a little water out of my blood. Scientists have found that my blood can lose up to 40 percent of its water, and I'm still healthy.

Doctor's say human blood has to stay very close to 94 percent water. If you lose 5 percent of it, you can't see anymore; 10 percent, you can't hear and you go insane; 12 percent, your blood is as thick as molasses And your heart can't pump the thick stuff. It stops, and you're dead.

But that's not true with me. Why? Scientists say my blood is different. My red cells are elongated. Yours are round. Maybe that's what makes the difference. This proves I'm designed for the desert, or the desert is designed for me. Did you ever hear of a design without a Designer?

After I find a water hole, I'll drink for about ten minutes and my skinny body starts to change almost immediately. In that short time my body fills out nicely, I don't look skinny anymore, and I gain back the 227 pounds I lost.

Even though I lose a lot of water on the desert, my body conserves it too. Way in the beginning when my Intelligent Engineer made me, He gave me a specially designed nose that saves water. When I exhale, I don't lose much. My nose traps that warm, moist air from my lungs And absorbs it in my nasal membranes.

Tiny blood vessels in those membranes take that back into my blood. How's that for a recycling system? Pretty cool, isn't it. It works because my nose is cool. My cool nose changes that warm moisture in the air From my lungs into water.

But how does my nose get cool? I breath in hot dry desert air, and it goes through my wet nasal passages. This produces a cooling effect, and my nose stays as much as 18 degrees cooler than the rest of my body.

I love to travel the beautiful sand dunes. It's really quite easy, because My Creator gave me specially engineered sand shoes for feet. My hooves are wide, and they get even wider when I step on them. Each foot has two long, bony toes with tough, leathery skin between my soles, My feet are a little like webbed feet.

They won't let me sink into the soft, drifting sand. This is good, because often my master wants me to carry him one hundred miles across the desert in just one day. (I troop about ten miles per hour.)

Sometimes a big windstorm comes out of nowhere, bringing flying sand with it. My Master Designer put special muscles in my nostrils that close the openings, keeping sand out of my nose but still allowing me enough air to breathe.

My eyelashes arch down over my eyes like screens, keeping the sand and sun out but still letting me see clearly. If a grain of sand slips through and gets in my eye, the Creator took care of that too. He gave me an inner eyelid that automatically wipes the sand off my eyeball just like a windshield wiper.

Some people think I'm conceited because I always walk around with my head held high and my nose in the air. But that's just because of the way I'm made. My eyebrows are so thick and bushy I have to hold my head high to peek out from underneath them. I'm glad I have them though. They shade my eyes from the bright sun.

Desert people depend on me for many things. Not only am I their best form of transportation, but I'm also their grocery store. Mrs. Camel gives very rich milk that people make into butter and cheese. I shed my thick fur coat once a year, and that can be woven into cloth. A few young camels are used for beef, but I don't like to talk about that.

For a long time we camels have been called the "ships of the desert" because of the way we sway from side to side when we trot. Some of our riders get seasick. I sway from side to side because of the way my legs work. Both legs on one side move forward at the same time, elevating that side. My "left, right left, right" motion makes my rider feel like he is in a rocking chair going sideways.

When I was six months old, special knee pads started to grow on my front legs. The Intelligent Creator knew I had to have them. They help me lower my 1000 pounds to the ground.

If I didn't have them, my knees would soon become sore and infected, And I could never lie down. I'd die of exhaustion. By the way, I don't get thick knee pads because I fall on my knees. I fall on my knees because I already have these tough pads. Someone very Great thought of me and knew I needed them. He designed them into my genes.

It's real difficult for me to understand. How some people say I evolved into what I now am. I'm very technical, highly engineered, dromedary camel.

Things like me don't just happen.
What I find amusing is that the author haphazardly switches between older creationist and newer intelligent design terminologies. I can't tell if he or she was just careless or gave up.

Brian
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  #2  
Old 30 August 2013, 07:58 AM
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In this story you could swap the term "creator" with "evolution" and it would also make perfect sense.
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Old 30 August 2013, 08:28 AM
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So here's a loooong list of ways that camels are built better than humans, so therefore the Mighty Creator put all his effort into camels and didn't have any energy or creative ideas left when he got around to humans? Or therefore he created humans first and then had a creative flash about all the awesome things he forgot to put into humans and decided to try them out on camels? I'm not sure what the logical conclusion of this argument? story? is supposed to be.
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:04 PM
Tom o' Bedlam Tom o' Bedlam is offline
 
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Quote:
If I can't find any plants to munch, my body uses up my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely little lump.

Sorry, that's what popped into my head the moment I read that.

At first I thought this was going to be another "atheist's nightmare" thing, like the one about the banana, or maybe a variation on the "mousetrap" argument. But this... falls short even of them. At least they had a sort of internal logic that showed the authors had at least a rudimentary understanding of the theory they were arguing against.

It's like the author of this piece thinks according to the theory of evolution, all life forms should be amorphous monstrosities with no rhyme or reason. As if they got the "random acquisition of traits" part but never got around to learning how natural selection works.

In fact, he* glosses over the one point by which he might have constructed some pale semblance of an argument:

Quote:
In an eight hour day, I can carry a four hundred pound load a hundred miles across a hot, dry desert and not stop once for a drink or something to eat.
Here he might've at least added, "Now how could evolution account for that, when in the wild I've never had to carry anything at all?"

Of course, the obvious answer is is "So you can carry 'round your hump / Your hump, your hump, your hump," but at least that would have been something slightly more provocative than "How can billions of years of evolution account for the fact that I'm so well-suited to my environment?"


*By "he", of course I mean the camel. We know it's a he because he refers to a "Mrs. Camel" when he talks about the production of milk. Also, I clearly put way too much effort into my analyses of these things.
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:05 PM
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Yes, but it's only been six thousand years. How could it evolve in that time?
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:09 PM
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Why bother designing the camel to endure the rigours of the desert. Why not just not create the desert in the first place?
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:14 PM
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Especially since the camel was created in the Garden of Eden, a singularly non-desert-like environment. It's almost as if God was expecting A&E to screw up.
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:17 PM
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Oh please, how would someone who supposedly designed humans to the smallest detail know that they would be tempted by forbidden fruit? Only some sort of all-knowing deity...

ETA: Actually, we don't know that the camel was created with or for the Garden of Eden. There seemed to have been earth outside the garden before the fall, so maybe the camel was there. Or maybe God created the camel when He created all the other people on the earth (IE, Cain's wife and all the people that Cain was afraid of).

Last edited by GenYus234; 30 August 2013 at 03:22 PM.
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:20 PM
Tom o' Bedlam Tom o' Bedlam is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe View Post
Especially since the camel was created in the Garden of Eden, a singularly non-desert-like environment. It's almost as if God was expecting A&E to screw up.
Well, he had to have a contingency plan in case his product proved faulty.
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
My hump, all eighty pounds of it, Is filled with fat-my body fuel -- not water as some people believe. My Mighty Maker gave it to me because He knew I wouldn't always be able to find food. As I travel across the hot sands. When I don't find any chow, my body automatically takes fat from the hump, feeds my system, and keeps me going strong. This is my emergency food supply.
Why is this ok for camels, but not for my thighs?
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Oh please, how would someone who supposedly designed humans to the smallest detail know that they would be tempted by forbidden fruit? Only some sort of all-knowing deity...

ETA: Actually, we don't know that the camel was created with or for the Garden of Eden. There seemed to have been earth outside the garden before the fall, so maybe the camel was there. Or maybe God created the camel when He created all the other people on the earth (IE, Cain's wife and all the people that Cain was afraid of).
But if camels were outside, Adam wouldn't have named them, and we'd have to call them "You know..those things...wotsits..."
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spam & Cookies-mmm View Post
Why is this ok for camels, but not for my thighs?
Because (from my question):
Quote:
Or therefore he created humans first and then had a creative flash about all the awesome things he forgot to put into humans and decided to try them out on camels?
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:40 PM
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According to the naming, Adam only named the cattle, the birds of the air (so no ostrich, emu, rhea, etc?), and the beasts of the field. Camels, being beasts of the desert, wouldn't have been included.

And Adam never is said to have named the fish of the sea or the things that creep but we have names for them.

ETA: Do we even know that the names Adam gave them were their species names? The naming was part of the process of finding a helper for Adam, so he may have been naming them "Gertrude" and "Shelia" and "Alexander".
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:44 PM
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Some translations use"wild animals," including camels. But that is a fascinating question for Answers from Genesis: Who named the fish?
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Old 30 August 2013, 03:47 PM
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Aquaman?

Some translations say that God formed the animals and brought the animals to be named. I guess He could have created them in a parade and then had the animal go to where it was meant to be.

Also, the animals could have been altered later. IMS, none of the animals in the Garden of Eden were carnivores, so there had to have been some alterations made to make tigers and wolves, etc. Maybe the camel was redesigned for the newly created deserts.
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Old 30 August 2013, 04:16 PM
Tom o' Bedlam Tom o' Bedlam is offline
 
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Clearly, all of this proves that we were set up to take the Fall.
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Old 30 August 2013, 04:51 PM
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The real question is, was there a second (third?) eater on the grassy knoll?
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Old 30 August 2013, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
It's real difficult for me to understand. How some people say I evolved into what I now am. I'm very technical, highly engineered, dromedary camel.
It's real difficult for me to understand. How some people can hit all seven lottery numbers against astronomical odds. Someone in the lottery administration is picking numbers that match given tickets, not the other way around.
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Old 30 August 2013, 05:59 PM
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But I know people that have not won the lottery (I am such people). Do you know people who were "evolved" to breathe chlorine or drink hydrochloric acid? I bet you don't.
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Old 30 August 2013, 09:41 PM
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Wow! Who knew so much planning went into a simple cigarette?

Well someone had to go there!


Dawn--I'd walk a mile to get away from glurge--Storm
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