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  #21  
Old 10 January 2007, 07:43 PM
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Comment: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:...Paul_McCartney

Is it true?
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  #22  
Old 11 January 2007, 08:27 AM
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Which part of "This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation." are you having trouble understanding?

Don "'misinformation', probably" Enrico
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  #23  
Old 11 January 2007, 08:28 PM
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"But it's on the internet - so it must be true. They wouldn't be allowed to put it up if it wasn't."
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  #24  
Old 19 January 2007, 06:08 AM
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Read This!

Comment: Is this real? Somehow I think not.

Tennessee Ten Commandments

Some people in Tennessee have trouble with all those "shalls" and "shalt
nots" in the in the Ten commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking
in those terms. So, some folks in middle Tennessee got together and
translated the "King James" into "Jackson County" language,.... no joke,
read on...

The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments
(posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro,TN.)

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma &Pa.
(3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin.'
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think? Y'all have a nice day.
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  #25  
Old 19 January 2007, 06:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma &Pa.
(3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin.'
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
They forgot Number Eleven:

11) Don't never say nothin' bad about Elvis. Ever.
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  #26  
Old 23 January 2007, 04:11 AM
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D'oh!

Comment: I thought snopes.com was a free service to check to see if things that we get in our inbox are "real" or not?

I got this message when I went back to activate my acount.

ATTENTION: Your co-payment is due at the time of your visit

If there is a charge to use I am not interested.
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  #27  
Old 23 January 2007, 04:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Comment: I thought snopes.com was a free service to check to see if things that we get in our inbox are "real" or not?

I got this message when I went back to activate my acount.

ATTENTION: Your co-payment is due at the time of your visit

If there is a charge to use I am not interested.
I wonder if he ever tried this one?

Quote:
"DIRECTIONS FOR USE: Hold this web site approximately 4 inches from area to be cleaned, spray, wipe surface with paper towel, lint-free cloth, or damp sponge."
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  #28  
Old 23 January 2007, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Comment: I thought snopes.com was a free service to check to see if things that we get in our inbox are "real" or not?

I got this message when I went back to activate my acount.

ATTENTION: Your co-payment is due at the time of your visit

If there is a charge to use I am not interested.
I'm totally embarassed. I forgot to send my payment.
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  #29  
Old 23 January 2007, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Comment: Is this real? Somehow I think not.

Tennessee Ten Commandments
I wouldn't doubt that those "commandments" would be posted in a church in Tennessee, as a joke. The rest of the world might not know it, but we can laugh at ourselves just as well as everyone else can laugh at us.
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  #30  
Old 23 January 2007, 04:01 PM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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D'oh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Comment: I thought snopes.com was a free service to check to see if things that we get in our inbox are "real" or not?

I got this message when I went back to activate my acount.

ATTENTION: Your co-payment is due at the time of your visit

If there is a charge to use I am not interested.
Then you're not going to like this one, at the top of my page now:

Quote:
NOTICE: This web site does not dispense free product.
This one, however, may be more useful:

Quote:
DIRECTIONS FOR USE: Hold this web site approximately 4 inches from area to be cleaned, spray, wipe surface with paper towel, lint-free cloth, or damp sponge.
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  #31  
Old 23 January 2007, 06:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Comment: I thought snopes.com was a free service to check to see if things that we get in our inbox are "real" or not?

I got this message when I went back to activate my acount.

ATTENTION: Your co-payment is due at the time of your visit

If there is a charge to use I am not interested.
This message must be causing you endless hours of frustration:

Quote:
ATTENTION: Press here for ice.
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  #32  
Old 23 January 2007, 09:41 PM
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D'oh!

Comment: Could you check this one, not a joke, it is new to me. Subject
:- GOLF

Recently uncovered evidence indicates that this sport actually began in
eastern Europe and for many years was enjoyed by the Jews of the area.
Stories passed down from generation to generation told of Moses and Aaron
and their famous Desert Classic, which endured for 40 years. This great
tradition was re-born many years later in the fields and forests of
eastern Europe.

A shepherd, Velvel Gross, passed the time by hitting pebbles with his
shepherd's crook. The number of times he hit the stones became known as
Gross Score. He eventually decided to lay out an actual course by
utilizing adjacent farmers' properties. The playing area consisted of 18
segments - the number chosen to represent the Hebrew symbol Chai, meaning
Life.

The game could then be played by Wednesday golfers as nine
holes(half-Chai), regular golfers as 18 holes (Chai), enthusiasts and
fitness-freaks as 27 holes (Chai-and-a-half), and with the wives during
mixed play (double-Chai).

The putting surface was named after Lazar Green, because the shortest
grass was found on his property. The search for durable projectiles (which
could sustain repeated strikes with wooden sticks) led to the Rebbetzin's
kitchen, where her dimpled matzo balls were the clear-cut winners.

They came in 90 or 100 compression and were vigorously tested by a
mechanical arm called Iron Myron. Parva, or Par, meaning neither here nor
there, was the number of shots allocated to each hole. Faivel the Sissy
scored the first recorded Birdie, as onlookers shouted, "Not bad for a
Faygelah!" The Eagle was so named for Adler the Shtarker, who scored the
first amazing two-under-par!

Soon courses sprang up all over the land with such exotic names as Knobble
Beach, Grieven Valley, Seder Brook and the two richest clubs: Chelm Ridge
and Chai Ridge. This particular group was known as The Haymishe Five.

Membership in these clubs provided many diverse activities. Tournaments
such as Blintzis and Schnapps and Beat the Tsar (which was a shotgun)were
organized. Social events included Revolutionary Hop and Pogrom Night and
were and carefully planned.

A committee of men was responsible for the many rules and regulations that
all were required to observe. Men's and women's facilities were strictly
segregated according to Jewish law. A dress code was rigidly enforced, in
spite of the women's insistence on the right to bare arms.
Shortly thereafter, the top golfers in the land emerged and formed the
PGA, Polish Galitzianer Association.

And that, boys and girls , is the story of how the Jews invented golf.
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  #33  
Old 26 January 2007, 08:21 AM
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Comment: Is this true?

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."

65% of respondents answered: "No esta una problema importante."
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  #34  
Old 26 January 2007, 08:53 AM
Nana M Nana M is offline
 
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I thin this...........

Quote:
Social events included Revolutionary Hop and Pogrom Night and
were and carefully planned.
and this............

Quote:
A dress code was rigidly enforced, in
spite of the women's insistence on the right to bare arms.
might be a hint?
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  #35  
Old 27 January 2007, 04:59 AM
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Comment: I'm curious about a website a friend sent to me. I know this
website has been around for a while (supposedly sometime in 2005), but I
stumbled across it a few months ago. Is this a valid business?
http://postrapturepost.com
I mean, is it a scam? A fake? Do they really accept money and letters?
If they accept the letters and the money, do they actually have a method
of storing them until the said rapture?
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  #36  
Old 29 January 2007, 02:10 AM
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Computer

Comment: Rumor has it that Bill Gates created the slogan for Carl's Junior
that "If it isn't all over the place, it doesent belong in your face".
Here is how the rumor goes...
Bill gates was in attendance at a Buisenes leaders Conference and was
listening to the CEO of CARL's talk about their successes when he heard
the CEO make the statement that they only have one problem which was that
customers often complain about how messy their Hamburgers were. At which
time, Mr. Gates stood up and segguested "Just make Messy a Good thing"..
There is a reason he rules the world with an inferior OS..
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  #37  
Old 29 January 2007, 02:17 AM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
65% of respondents answered: "No esta una problema importante."
Apparently, those 65% don't speak Spanish. If they did, they'd know that it's "No es un problema importante."

Not only did they get the verb wrong, they obviously didn't know that problem is masculine in Spanish, despite it ending with an 'a'.

So it appears that 65% of the respondents were commiting some sort of fraud in answering this poll. Methinks the CIA should be called.
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  #38  
Old 29 January 2007, 02:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by franjava View Post
What would they call [Diet Coke with Bacon]? Bacola?
What else could they call it but Bacon Soda?
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  #39  
Old 29 January 2007, 03:30 AM
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Comment: Is this true?

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible; I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

(He never heard the shot.)
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  #40  
Old 29 January 2007, 07:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveler in Black View Post
What else could they call it but Bacon Soda?
Shouldn't that be Pork Soda?
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