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  #1  
Old 01 December 2017, 07:35 PM
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Icon06 Colorado girl, 10, commits suicide after alleged bullying incident caught on camera

arents say their 10-year-old daughter committed suicide over video of a fight with an alleged bully. Ashawnty Davis of Arapahoe County, Colorado, was only in fifth grade.

http://abc7.com/10-year-old-commits-...ident/2722045/
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  #2  
Old 01 December 2017, 10:42 PM
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Cripes. That absolutely breaks my heart. 10 years old she should be thinking about what Santa is bringing for Christmas, not trying to avoid a bully by taking her own life.

I feel for her family and friends. What a devastating loss.

I.... hurt for her.
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  #3  
Old 01 December 2017, 10:55 PM
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I....hate....bullies....with the fury of a million white hot burning suns.

My poor heart is hurting for this young girl.
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Old 03 December 2017, 10:31 PM
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'Bullying' seems like too soft a word. The concept of a bully is almost comical, mainly because both bullies and their victims tend to be children and adults tend to think of the actions of children as being a bit inconsequential.

Bullying is just another word for abuse. What we dismiss as mere bullying or even teasing among children is rarely tolerated in adult environments. Sometimes it's even a criminal offence when adults do it and yet adults continue to dismiss it as an exercise in 'character building' among children.

I say this as somebody who was habitually abused by 'bullies' for several years to the point where I may have developed post traumatic stress disorder (I was never diagnosed, but the symptoms were there).

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, which is patently absurd. Sometimes people are pushed so far they can only break.

At the same time though... the perpetrators were similarly young. Do I hope they carry the full weight of the burden of another girl's death on their young shoulders for the rest of their lives? I honestly don't know. They were partly responsible, of course. They were in the wrong, of course. But being scarred for life shouldn't be the punishment for having underdeveloped empathy as a youngster. It's hard to know where the blame lies when kids are involved.
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Old 04 December 2017, 12:37 AM
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This is heartbreaking. How does a 10 year old even know how to kill herself?

A few months ago there was an issue at my son’s elementary school over something a child had posted on musical.ly. It’s difficult to protect a tech savvy kid. I have some safeguards in place for mine, but honestly, phone companies don’t make it easy.
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  #6  
Old 06 December 2017, 08:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Pink Pill View Post
This is heartbreaking. How does a 10 year old even know how to kill herself?
I admit I had a morbid curiosity about that myself. I'm not sure if I would have had any idea how to do so when I was 10. (A gun would be an obvious method, but my family didn't have guns.)

But digging for additional stories to see if any of them gave the method just seemed....ghoulish.

The mere idea of a 10-year-old being driven to that...just sickening.
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Old 06 December 2017, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Mochrie99 View Post
I....hate....bullies....with the fury of a million white hot burning suns.

My poor heart is hurting for this young girl.
That makes two of us.

In high school, there were a small group of guys who decided their mission in life was to make my time in high school a living hell.

They succeeded.

When I complained, the vice-principal told me I needed to toughen up and be a MAN!!
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Old 06 December 2017, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted by DrRocket View Post
That makes two of us.

In high school, there were a small group of guys who decided their mission in life was to make my time in high school a living hell.

They succeeded.

When I complained, the vice-principal told me I needed to toughen up and be a MAN!!
Mercifully, though I was bullied, the teachers and principle / vice actually cared about me. My last year of high school, I was leaving for the day, when bully threw a hard packed snowball (more like a ball of ice, really), and it hit me in the back of the neck. My dad said that it would have narrowly missed my carotid artery. The VP saw it happen through his window, identified the guy right off, and suspended the NFBSK.

Bullies in the 1990s were pretty bad, but I can't imagine being a kid in this day and age. Bullying is so pervasive, and with everything being online, there can possibly be absolutely no escape from it. I NFBSKing hate bullies.
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Old 07 December 2017, 12:24 AM
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I grew up in the 70s, when the standard advice was "ignore them and they'll stop.". They didn't; they just stuck their face within inches of mine and yelled "ARE YOU DEAF?"
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Old 07 December 2017, 12:39 AM
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I seriously wonder just what they were smoking when they decided "Ignore them and they'll stop" would be an at all appropriate response to bullying. It does NFBSK-all, frankly.
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Old 07 December 2017, 12:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrRocket View Post
When I complained, the vice-principal told me I needed to toughen up and be a MAN!!
At my high school if you fought back (which is what I assume "be a man" means based on the smiley) you'd just get suspended for "fighting" under the zero tolerance policy.
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Old 07 December 2017, 01:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochrie99 View Post
I seriously wonder just what they were smoking when they decided "Ignore them and they'll stop" would be an at all appropriate response to bullying. It does NFBSK-all, frankly.
It's what you get when the people giving advice are former bullies rather than former victims.
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Old 07 December 2017, 02:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crocoduck_hunter View Post
It's what you get when the people giving advice are former bullies rather than former victims.
You got that damn right.
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  #14  
Old 07 December 2017, 02:18 AM
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I am fortunate with the teachers I've had. I recall another high school incident, I was in Grade 12. This time, I did fight back in a way. I was in my English class, during which one of the bullies pushed the books off my desk. I got up, totally peeved and fed up and just shoved him as hard as I could. He flailed backwards and fell on his ass, hard. My teacher told me to leave the room, I did, and as I waited outside I could hear her berate the class, and the bully especially about what he did.

At the end of the class, she told me to come to her desk, she hugged me and told me she was proud that I stood up for myself. I am the least violent person in the world, but you can only deal with so much NFBSK until you snap. That was my moment.
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Old 07 December 2017, 02:41 AM
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I was incredibly lucky in that when some bullies tried to bully me, ignoring them DID work. But that's only because I don't think I was the target that they wanted in that moment, but they were bored and I would do in a pinch. But I gave no reaction whatsoever. Afterwards, I was able to avoid them and/or move in groups within the school. I also suspect I avoided a direct assault because I didn't take the bait when they were trying to get me to a secluded spot some time later by imitating hurt/lost puppy sounds in the woods.

I'm sure they made several other classmates' lives hell and that no amount of ignoring could change their behavior.

As it was, the hour they spent on me took a toll. They made fun of my arms and it was probably a good 6 or 7 years after that that I ever wore sleeveless again. I cannot even imagine sustained bullying and the stress and damage it would cause.
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Old 07 December 2017, 03:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E. Q. Taft View Post

But digging for additional stories to see if any of them gave the method just seemed....ghoulish.
I’m told that journalists are generally advised not to go into too much detail about how the method: it has a tendency to kickstart a lot of copycat suicides.

Though I understand your ghoulish fascination. Whenever I hear about a suicide, while my heart goes out to the victim and their family, I find myself thinking things like, “How did they do it. Did it hurt? At some point, was a part of them like, ‘Wait, I don’t want to do this,’ but it was already too late to save themselves?” I know better than to say these things out loud, but the subject fascinates me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochrie99 View Post
I seriously wonder just what they were smoking when they decided "Ignore them and they'll stop" would be an at all appropriate response to bullying. It does NFBSK-all, frankly.
I like how the blog, Sadly, No! sums up the “Just ignore them” argument.

Quote:
Ah, yes, the well-worn refrain to bullied kids everywhere. Ignore the bully and he’ll use your silence to believe he’s untouchable and torment you for months while you internalize your own worthlessness and believe you can’t even speak out about the abuse because it’ll just be “encouraging” the bully to beat you more.

No wait, I’m sorry, I got reality mixed up with platitude again. I meant to say, ignore the bully and he’ll go away and leave you alone, because you showed you were the bigger person and there’s nothing a bully loves more than someone they look down on for their identities or existence also acting smug that they are morally superior to them.

Ah damn, just keep accidentally kicking the switch for the reality/platitude inverter.

But yeah, any bullied kid learned the hard way that this advice is garbage. Once a bully is on you, they tend to stick around and turning your back and trying to ignore just makes them more likely to escalate and feel invincible because they know that everyone likes a bully victim to suffer nobly and so the systems of power are behind them and will protect their actions.
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  #17  
Old 07 December 2017, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E. Q. Taft View Post
I admit I had a morbid curiosity about that myself. I'm not sure if I would have had any idea how to do so when I was 10.
Me neither, but now that I think about it, we didn’t have the internet, where people live stream suicides.

My morbid curiosity got the better of me, as usual, but I’ll share the results in white for those who prefer not to know:

For some reason I thought the original article said she hanged herself. I don’t see that detail now, but Google confirmed it. Since a 12 year old live streamed her hanging death last year, and it’s still available online, I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising. But it is. 10 is so little. I’m surprised she had the determination, knowledge, dexterity, and strength.
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  #18  
Old 07 December 2017, 03:32 PM
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In Jude The Obscure, Jude and Sue's son hangs himself, at the age of 10 as far as I remember, . That was published in 1896. (Hidden for the same reason as Little Pink Pill did, and also just for general spoilers, although I don't know if I really need to put spoiler tags on a book that's over a century old and pretty famous.
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Old 07 December 2017, 03:53 PM
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I had a school psychologist say to me, "Don't you think if you told so-and-so that the things he says hurts your feelings, he'd stop?" No, I don't think that, because hurting my feelings is exactly his intention, you ignorant quack.
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Old 07 December 2017, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellestar View Post
I was incredibly lucky in that when some bullies tried to bully me, ignoring them DID work. .
That worked for me as well, but it took a few years for me to get to that level.


ETA: Lainie--yeah a fat lot of good that would have done!
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