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  #901  
Old 03 November 2017, 01:41 PM
Bill Bill is offline
 
Join Date: 02 January 2007
Location: Massachusetts
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I was supposed to go to prison and went somewhere to talk with officials about starting my prison time.

They were displeased that I didn't come in to discuss it with them earlier when I was supposed to, but I apparently forgot about it and/or lost the notice they sent me.

Apparently I don't actually have to serve prison time, as long as I wear some distinctive kind of clothing identifying me as a prisoner.

I'm thinking of a way to explain this to my employer.

Thanks.

Bill
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  #902  
Old 12 November 2017, 03:33 PM
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Cervus Cervus is offline
 
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Location: Florida
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Tie-dye is the latest fashion craze in the rap/hip-hop community.
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  #903  
Old 12 November 2017, 04:01 PM
Bill Bill is offline
 
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I rediscovered the hidden place inside of an office building downtown where they show movies on some weekend nights. Doesn't seem like too many people know about it; I don't remember anyone else there except for my guest(s) and myself.

My third visit, in fact.

Thanks.

Bill
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  #904  
Old 12 November 2017, 06:12 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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Strange cats are able to invade my house even though all the doors and windows are closed. In the dream I was in bed, and a strange cat would show up under my bed and pick a fight with my cat. So I picked up the strange cat and took it outside. Then a mama cat with a litter of five kittens, all black, showed up in the same place. A minute later they were back again. I took them outside again. This scenario repeated itself several times. Because I was in bed in the dream it took me a while to realize it was actually dream, and I was starting to wonder if there was a broken vent of something that they were coming in through.
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  #905  
Old 19 November 2017, 04:28 PM
Bill Bill is offline
 
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Location: Massachusetts
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(1) I was invited to the upcoming Republican National Convention, which is being held in New Orleans.

I told the people who invited me that I couldn't go. They gave me free food at their booth and wouldn't let me make a donation to cover the cost of the food.

(2) Eventually I went to the convention.

However, in the big room with the food, I couldn't have any orange juice because the only ones who were allowed orange juice were the ones with a special cup that was distributed to some attendees and not me.

Thanks.

Bill
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  #906  
Old 22 November 2017, 07:22 AM
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kitap kitap is offline
 
Join Date: 20 January 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Whalephant

The only way to fly from the U.S. to South America is Atlanta to Gatwick to whichever country you're headed to. For some odd reason your ticket doesn't say that, so we were astonished to find that out in Atlanta. On the plus side the gate area in Atlanta for Gatwick is enclosed and two stories tall with tropical vegetation and wooden steps you can climb to the second level.
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  #907  
Old 22 November 2017, 04:51 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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Next May when I attend Weird Al's "Ill Advised Vanity Tour" my seat will just be a crappy bench at the very back of the balcony, sort of like the bleachers you might find in a high school gym. The opening act will be stand up comedy from Mike Birbiglia. Also I will discover that I mistakenly bought two tickets. While it's nice to have a little extra space on the bench I feel bad about taking a seat away from someone else who might want to see the show, so I go online on my phone while I'm waiting for the show to start to try to see if I can sell my extra ticket at the last minute.
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  #908  
Old 23 November 2017, 01:12 PM
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Crius of CoH Crius of CoH is offline
 
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Location: Paragon City (Cranston), RI
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1. Remote vehicle ignition works if the car was left in gear.

2. A Toyota Corolla will fit inside a Trans Am.

3. Parking on the edge of a deep-water bay is scenic, but risky.

4. The impact of the above-mentioned Toyota into the above-mentioned Trans Am is not enough to push the Trans Am into the water, but the freak windstorm that followed shortly afterwards is.

5. The double loss of one's car during a vacation in a foreign land is deeply frustrating.

Possibly the most stressful dream I have ever had (that I can remember, anyways).
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  #909  
Old 23 November 2017, 01:33 PM
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thorny locust thorny locust is offline
 
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If I do no housecleaning whatsoever before my family shows up tonight for Thanksgiving, they will be perfectly fine with it.

(This is probably only semi true in real life.)
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  #910  
Old 28 November 2017, 05:12 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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1. It's totally possible to walk away from a car accident severe enough to flip your car over and where the other car pushes your car on its roof a block up the street. It's also possible for the old man driving the other car to not realize he hit another car until he's pushed it a block up the street on its roof.

2. When the mailman leaves your packages in the street instead of your mailbox they will survive being run over by traffic as long as they're in padded envelopes and there's snow on the ground.

3. If the Bad Guys abandon you and your group in the woods with no food (but apparently with a tent and other camping gear) you'll all be dead in 24 hours unless you can find a way to escape because that's how long people can survive in the woods with no food. But you can use the bulldozer that's inexplicably parked by your campsite to knock over a utility pole, and be rescued by the utility crew who show up to repair the outage you caused.
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  #911  
Old 07 December 2017, 04:54 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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According to middle school history teachers, the voting on the contestants in the first season of American Idol is more historically significant than the 1992 presidential election.
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  #912  
Old 11 December 2017, 12:18 PM
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kitap kitap is offline
 
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Whalephant

There is a theme park in North Carolina that is a mystery theme park-every attraction has clues. It's made to look like the 1920s and the theme is Mystery of the Pharaoh's Eye and it's only open at night so it's more atmospheric.
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  #913  
Old 11 December 2017, 11:14 PM
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Tootsie Plunkette Tootsie Plunkette is offline
 
Join Date: 26 October 2001
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 9,975
Shifty Eyes

Arachnophobe warning!

My (dream) house seems to have an infestation of some sort of jumping spiders. In two separate dreams, I have been doing mundane things, when a random dot turns into a spider and jumps... landing place unknown. In my dreams I'm not frighterned (and I'm not afraid of spiders in real life), but it vaguely bothers me that these new spiders are in my house, and I don't know where they come from, and where they go!

This probably has some deep meaning in my real life.
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  #914  
Old 11 December 2017, 11:39 PM
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Cervus Cervus is offline
 
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Trump will expose his penis during a rally to brag about the size (naturally there's nothing to brag about) and his cult of followers will be like "Yes, of course, this is totally normal and acceptable presidential behavior."
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  #915  
Old 12 December 2017, 03:41 PM
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queen of the caramels queen of the caramels is offline
 
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Royalty

Many years ago, I went on a road trip with Robin Williams. I am now re-creating it as a documentary with Robert Downey Jr for some anniversary of Robin.


Shenanigans are had by all.
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  #916  
Old 12 December 2017, 06:19 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervus View Post
Trump will expose his penis during a rally to brag about the size (naturally there's nothing to brag about) and his cult of followers will be like "Yes, of course, this is totally normal and acceptable presidential behavior."

Let's all pray that he doesn't get that idea! If I hear that he's done that, I will assume that there are some closet Trumpers on this board.
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