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  #1  
Old 12 September 2018, 09:35 PM
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Icon215 Televangelist Pat Robertson commands Hurricane Florence: ‘You will do no damage’ here

Televangelist Pat Robertson has commanded Hurricane Florence to stay away from land.

In particular, Robertson said at a Monday prayer service, he doesn’t want what is now a Category 4 hurricane still at sea to “hurt” Regent University and the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) — both founded by Robertson in the Virginia Beach area.

https://www.heraldsun.com/living/rel...218206305.html
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  #2  
Old 12 September 2018, 09:40 PM
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Quote:
... those innocent people in the path of this hurricane.
Handy out for when some people do get hurt.
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Old 12 September 2018, 10:48 PM
RichardM RichardM is offline
 
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Could Robertson please go stand on the beach, arms outstretched in his best Moses pose and tell the storm directly. Please go there late Thursday or early Friday.

Also could the orange one please sign an executive order directing the storm to not make landfall.
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  #4  
Old 13 September 2018, 01:42 AM
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Handy out for when some people do get hurt.
I don't think he's going to be able get out of it that way. He apparently demanded that it do no damage at all anywhere in the Tidewater.

Quote:
“We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, that you will do no damage in this area,” said the 88-year-old host of “The 700 Club” on CBN. “We declare a shield of protection all over the Tidewater (in Virginia) and ... over those innocent people in the path of this hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!”
-- I was also going to say something along the lines of 'King Canute wants his mindset back', but it turns out that I was probably unfairly maligning King Cnut, who apparently knew perfectly well that the tide wouldn't stop for him and, if the whole thing happened at all, was trying to make that point.


(I hope that Cnut's daughter was as happy about the marriage as Henry was, though.)
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  #5  
Old 13 September 2018, 02:18 AM
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Put Robertson and Dump on the Outer Banks and get them arguing. It'll probably blow the hurricane right back out to sea.
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  #6  
Old 13 September 2018, 02:19 AM
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What do you have against the tidewater region, TL?
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  #7  
Old 13 September 2018, 03:21 AM
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Zilch.

Pat Rpbertson, on the other hand . . .


(Were you facetiously answering crocoduck_hunter? )
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  #8  
Old 13 September 2018, 04:51 AM
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I'm not sure what part of my post could possibly result in people thinking I was serious. I mean, I'd be just fine leaving those two out on an unprotected island in the path of an oncoming hurricane, but I don't think they'd actually stop it.
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Old 13 September 2018, 05:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thorny locust View Post
(Were you facetiously answering crocoduck_hunter? )
No, I was facetiously responding to you as a resident of the tidewater region, what with your decrying whatshisname's decrees that we all be spared. I was jokingly implying that you’re saying that not because such decrees are ridiculous, but because you might have something against us.
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  #10  
Old 13 September 2018, 07:19 AM
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I recall some years ago when he was urging his followers to pray that an incoming storm would miss his church, or broadcast center, or office building, or whatever facility of his it was heading towards. I remember thinking that if it *did* miss his place, someone whose property *did* get destroyed ought to sue him....
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  #11  
Old 13 September 2018, 09:08 AM
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"We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, ...,” said the 88-year-old host of “The 700 Club” on CBN.
I found a picture of the incident:

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Old 13 September 2018, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crocoduck_hunter View Post
Put Robertson and Dump on the Outer Banks and get them arguing. It'll probably blow the hurricane right back out to sea.
It should also keep Helene and Isaac out to sea as well.
Then send them both to the west coast to blow out those horrible fires.
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  #13  
Old 13 September 2018, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crocoduck_hunter View Post
I'm not sure what part of my post could possibly result in people thinking I was serious. I mean, I'd be just fine leaving those two out on an unprotected island in the path of an oncoming hurricane, but I don't think they'd actually stop it.
I don't think anybody thought you were serious. That's why I said "facetiously".

Quote:
Originally Posted by ASL View Post
No, I was facetiously responding to you as a resident of the tidewater region, what with your decrying whatshisname's decrees that we all be spared. I was jokingly implying that you’re saying that not because such decrees are ridiculous, but because you might have something against us.
Ah. And I thought you might be jokingly implying that crocoduck_hunter must have something against the region because of wanting to inflict both Trump and Robertson on it -- though I gather that it's already got Robertson. At least some of the time -- I wonder where he is right now.

Stay safe, ASL!
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  #14  
Old 13 September 2018, 02:37 PM
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It would not surprise me if he and his publicity department have already compiled their message lines for when this hurricane slams into the mainland:

- homosexuality in the US is what brought the storm
- see what God does when we oppose Trump
- God came to wash the scourge of socialism from the US
- believers did not believe enough
- the faithful need to pay me more to prevent it from happening again
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  #15  
Old 13 September 2018, 03:17 PM
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If pilot rhymes with towelette, its like those wild horses out on those overgrown sandbars they call owlands - I mean islands. You'll survive. Your sandbar might not though so, seek higher ground.
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  #16  
Old 13 September 2018, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UEL View Post
It would not surprise me if he and his publicity department have already compiled their message lines for when this hurricane slams into the mainland:

- homosexuality in the US is what brought the storm
- see what God does when we oppose Trump
- God came to wash the scourge of socialism from the US
- believers did not believe enough
- the faithful need to pay me more to prevent it from happening again
Hell, they probably have a Word document with these and other gems.

Dawn--fundamentally can't take it!--Storm
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  #17  
Old 13 September 2018, 05:10 PM
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On Lewis Black's Carnegie Hall album, there's an eerily similar scene with Black mocking George W. Bush for going to NORAD in Colorado Springs during Katrina, looking up at the map and going, "Stop! STOP!"

I don't remember the specifics of his visit there, though, so I don't know how much basis in fact it has.

~Psihala
(*"'The power of prayer!' Hmph!")
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  #18  
Old 13 September 2018, 05:22 PM
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Bush wasn't the brightest bulb in the White House chandelier, but a lot of the dumb things he supposedly said were really SNL skits or decades old one-liners.
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  #19  
Old 13 September 2018, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
“Will the advancing waves obey me, Bishop, if I make the sign?”
Said the Bishop, bowing lowly, “Land and sea, my lord, are thine.”
Canute turned towards the ocean—“Back!” he said, “thou foaming brine.

“From the sacred shore I stand on, I command thee to retreat;
Venture not, thou stormy rebel, to approach thy master’s seat:
Ocean, be thou still! I bid thee come not nearer to my feet!”

But the sullen ocean answered with a louder, deeper roar,
And the rapid waves drew nearer, falling sounding on the shore;
Back the Keeper and the Bishop, back the king and courtiers bore.

And he sternly bade them never more to kneel to human clay,
But alone to praise and worship That which earth and seas obey:
And his golden crown of empire never wore he from that day.
King Canute is dead and gone: Parasites exist alway.
From "King Canute" by William Makepeace Thackeray
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  #20  
Old 13 September 2018, 06:26 PM
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I've seen a meme around Facebook advertising "BIG TRUMP RALLY FRIDAY! CAROLINA BEACH! Bring Friends!"
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