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Old 11 April 2013, 02:17 PM
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Default Things you shouldn't have to tell people

1. Snopes is not "biased."
2. Even if they were, it is not a reason to simply dismiss their articles outright. They cite their sources scrupulously, for crying out loud.
3. And even if 1 & 2 were false, that STILL would not grant you license to go ahead and believe the exact opposite of what's on Snopes simply because you'd rather believe that instead.
  #2  
Old 12 April 2013, 08:49 AM
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Sentences that begin with "It's none of my business but..." should almost always end after "business". Better not to start them at all.
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Old 13 April 2013, 01:14 AM
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1. If you call in a technician to fix something at your workplace and leave your personal cell phone number as the callback number, it seems a little silly to get pissy when the technician's office calls you back with the technician's ETA.

2. If you have a complaint about a store's high prices, the proper avenue of complaint is not the emergency call button in the store's elevator.
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Old 13 April 2013, 01:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ganzfeld View Post
Sentences that begin with "It's none of my business but..." should almost always end after "business".
And sentences that begin "With all due respect ..." are almost always openings to statements that are highly disrespectful.
  #5  
Old 13 April 2013, 02:04 AM
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I always assumed that was the point. "With all due respect, which is none because you're a giant ass/idiot/I hate you, blah, blah, blah" We just don't say the italicized bit outloud.
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Old 14 April 2013, 12:59 PM
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If the two cars in front of you have stopped for the red light perhaps you should, too. Especially since you only have liability insurance and you totalled your car when you struck the second car.
  #7  
Old 16 April 2013, 04:07 PM
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Dear Media,

Obama called the bombing in Boston an act of terror today. There. Are you happy now? Can you now please stop getting hung up on what words he did or didn't use, and get on with reporting stuff that actually matters?

Sheesh.

Sincerely and aggrevatedly,
TGG
  #8  
Old 16 April 2013, 04:13 PM
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Did the Pres say "terror" or "terrorism"?

Seriously though, this parsing is like something out of Seinfeld.

"Did he crumble crackers?"

"Did he say 'Why would Jerry be there' or 'Why would Jerry be there'?"
  #9  
Old 16 April 2013, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
And sentences that begin "With all due respect ..." are almost always openings to statements that are highly disrespectful.
"Why is it that whenever someone says 'with all due respect', they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" Ashley Williams, Mass Effect.
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Old 16 April 2013, 06:46 PM
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Obviously they think you're not actually due any respect.

I got a lovely, nasty email from a seller on Amazon Marketplace once, that began with, "With all do respect..."

Had a good laugh over that one.
  #11  
Old 16 April 2013, 09:32 PM
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With all due respect, the amount of respect due could be none.
  #12  
Old 17 April 2013, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avril View Post
I got a lovely, nasty email from a seller on Amazon Marketplace once, that began with, "With all do respect..."
I had a fortune cookie the other day that advised "Patience is my alley." Still trying to work that one out.
  #13  
Old 17 April 2013, 09:25 AM
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A room request for a specific room is just that: a request. We don't guarantee and you are told that when you make the request. Getting here and finding out you didn't get your requested room is not the cue for you to have a meltdown and start demanding the earth.
  #14  
Old 17 April 2013, 11:50 AM
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Get washed, brush your teeth, get dressed for school shouldn't be repeated more than once a morning.
  #15  
Old 17 April 2013, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara View Post
I had a fortune cookie the other day that advised "Patience is my alley." Still trying to work that one out.
That's what gets you through the Valley of the Shadow of Debt
  #16  
Old 17 April 2013, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queen of the caramels View Post
Get washed, brush your teeth, get dressed for school shouldn't be repeated more than once a morning.
Especially considering he is a 45 year old teacher.
  #17  
Old 17 April 2013, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara View Post
I had a fortune cookie the other day that advised "Patience is my alley." Still trying to work that one out.
An alley is where you dump your garbage so that it doesn't stick up your house. Patience is where you dump the metaphorical garbage of your frustrations, so they don't stink up your life.
  #18  
Old 17 April 2013, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara View Post
I had a fortune cookie the other day that advised "Patience is my alley." Still trying to work that one out.
I had one that said "You like Chinese food."

I think the person who wrote that one doesn't understand the concept of "fortunes"

Quote:
b. A foretelling of one's destiny.
  #19  
Old 17 April 2013, 02:23 PM
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"Fortunes" have been going downhill for years. I once got one that said, "You should save more." That's not a fortune, that's a nag.

I blame offshoring for the decline in quality.
  #20  
Old 17 April 2013, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara View Post
I had a fortune cookie the other day that advised "Patience is my alley." Still trying to work that one out.
It makes total sense if you add "in bed".

Oh, wait, no it doesn't.
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