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  #81  
Old 28 August 2018, 04:00 AM
Jusenkyo no Pikachu Jusenkyo no Pikachu is offline
 
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I learned it’s phenomenally hard to type “Alsjeblieft” (Dutch for “please”)
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  #82  
Old 05 September 2018, 05:20 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Shifty Eyes

I can hear a local AM station through my toenails. Very disconcerting.

Dawn--never trying THAT recipe again!--Storm
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  #83  
Old 08 September 2018, 06:31 AM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is online now
 
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Broadcast television stations are now allowed to show some rather graphic and detailed sex-ed programs. They use real human models to illustrate human anatomy and detailed lessons on subjects like "how to find the clitoris", which they demonstrate on the model.
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  #84  
Old 09 September 2018, 09:55 PM
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I won the next presidential election. The Superintendent of my school informed me while I was overseeing the children's recess. Donald Trump angrily peered at me as he peeled away out of the parking lot in a white Viper.
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  #85  
Old 09 September 2018, 10:15 PM
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I wonder whether part of your head was thinking of Bush reading to children, mbravo?

-- I learned that my computer apparently has installed on it an ancient OS that looks rather like Mac OS9, and has decided to switch to that. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to use that OS well enough to figure out either how to tell it to switch back, or to get at any of my documents.

(The first computer I had actually did have two OS's installed, OS9 and an early version of 10, and was set up so the user could switch back and forth between them. I tried the 9 briefly, decided I liked 10 better, and never really learned to use 9. But whatever was on the computer in my dream wasn't even really set up like 9; I couldn't even seem to find Finder.)
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  #86  
Old 10 September 2018, 01:36 AM
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Brad from Georgia Brad from Georgia is offline
 
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I had a vivid dream that the TODAY show announced that Trump had inoperable cancer. The newscasters were trying to hide their smiles. I told my wife that they were being unprofessional.
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  #87  
Old 10 September 2018, 02:52 PM
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In my workplace, somebody found a cardboard box containing old cigarette butts. I didn't put it there.

Some of my coworkers are snooty middle-aged women and lectured me for putting it there.

Thanks.

Bill
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  #88  
Old 10 September 2018, 07:41 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is online now
 
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I'm now a student at some expensive private high school. The rich students at this school all bully me for not being rich like they are. My mom works in the cafeteria, which is apparently how I am able to go to that school, through some sort of scholarship for employees' children. The cafeteria serves really fancy gourmet food, but I never get to eat any of it because the other students keep stealing it off my tray when I'm not looking. I'm getting really fed up with being treated this way, and feel like I'm about to snap and punch someone, but I don't think I actually do.
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  #89  
Old 10 September 2018, 09:18 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
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I dreamed I was gorgeous. For whatever reason, in the dream, I couldn't take a bad picture or find a bad angle. I was still me, but just having a really good face day.

I looked so good that the boy my sister had a crush on propositioned me, even though they had almost started dating. I left him in a huff. I'm married.
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  #90  
Old 11 September 2018, 02:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jusenkyo no Pikachu View Post
I learned it’s phenomenally hard to type “Alsjeblieft” (Dutch for “please”)
This confused me, because the word I learned was "alstublieft." I was about to make a crack about how even upon walking it seems difficult to type, but I thought to Google it first. According to the first hit, both are correct, but the version I learned is the more formal variation and also more commonly used.
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  #91  
Old 11 September 2018, 03:00 PM
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Seaboe Muffinchucker Seaboe Muffinchucker is offline
 
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Glasses

My friend J and her partner are looking for a house from which to run their business. Our costumer's guild found the perfect one, and called everyone out to inspect it (including J, who was walking around with a clip board to note issues). The house was a huge old Victorian mansion, although the kitchen had been modernized. The stairs to the attic were very strange--the bottom half was very steep, with very narrow treads, but the upper half was normal.

Oh, and I arrived to look around and later departed on my motorcycle.

Seaboe
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  #92  
Old 11 September 2018, 04:15 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
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I am very close friends with Jennifer Lawrence. We both go to the same high school and I have her back when she dings someone's car in the parking lot. However, she's moving away because she has to film a movie in Zimbabwe. I am so, so, so sad that I will be losing this wonderful friend, but she reassures me that we'll be friends forever.

But before she goes, she has a huge fight with her crack addicted boyfriend. I call in the cops and the cop that shows up is played by Michael Shannon. He sees JLaw's boyfriend smoke crack right in front of him and is so upset about this, HE (Michael Shannon cop) takes the pipe away and starts smoking it, himself. I say, "For crying out loud, be an adult!" and I take the crack pipe away and help the cop book the boyfriend. Meanwhile, JLaw is so upset, SHE takes a hit off of the crack pipe, but I get it away from her and she's not in trouble because I'll testify about the cop smoking before she did.

Anyway, it turns out Jennifer Lawrence is also a superhero. She's in a group that's a lot like generic X-Men. She invites me to be on her team even though I don't have any super powers... yet. It seemed to be implied I'd develop some over time. So I help out the squad by basically following them around and jumping through windows and avoiding being blown up. It was kind of fun.
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  #93  
Old 13 September 2018, 05:22 PM
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Shoe stores have now begun packaging their shoes in bags of green onions. I think they're doing this to cater to people who believe that putting an onion in your sock removes "toxins" from your body. Of course as a snopester I know that's complete crap, and I'm annoyed that I can't find any shoes I like that aren't all oniony. I don't want to walk around in shoes that smell like onions, darn it!
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  #94  
Old 13 September 2018, 05:28 PM
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Shoe stores have now begun packaging their shoes in bags of green onions. I think they're doing this to cater to people who believe that putting an onion in your sock removes "toxins" from your body. Of course as a snopester I know that's complete crap, and I'm annoyed that I can't find any shoes I like that aren't all oniony. I don't want to walk around in shoes that smell like onions, darn it!
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  #95  
Old 17 September 2018, 02:23 PM
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If you apply for a job at a home goods store such as Homebase, they will let you start work and then give you on-the-job interview tests which consists of the managers coming in undercover and pretending to be customers with weird requests.

I think I did OK at some of the tests - I managed to find the lampshades that we were standing right next to, for the first "customer", and correctly identified the map of the island on the postcard his young daughter showed me as being North Ronaldsay in the Isles of Scilly (even though it was actually St Martin's - North Ronaldsay is in Orkney; but it was the right answer in the dream since I only realised I was wrong after waking up). And I managed to deal with the complaint from the second customer by politely giving her the email address for customer service and then pointing out to her that our store had no control over the placement of the road signs on the roundabout outside.

On the downside, I forgot the name of the store (I'm still not sure what it was, as the email address didn't match anything else), I think at one point I took a bribe (the first customer pushed a wad of notes into my top pocket as a thank-you; I assumed it was a "bonus" because I'd already worked out he was the manager, but I might not have been supposed to know that, and later it turned out that half of it was in Euros, or fake - including a fake £45 note from some sort of toytown bank). I also knocked over quite a few things, dropped stuff everywhere, and got behind at serving customers because I kept getting called away from the checkout by the interview questions. And I'm not sure it impressed them that my mum, who had given me a lift there, hung around in the background doing all the work for me and occasionally coming to see if I was OK! (Although from earlier in the dream, I think she might also have worked there. It was supposed to be some sort of dummy showroom shop attached to the local sixth-form college she used to work at, so I was surprised how busy it got).

It was a realistic enough dream that I was a bit surprised when I woke up - although getting very rushed, I was quite enjoying it - but I have not applied for any job at a home goods / DIY store in reality!
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  #96  
Old 17 September 2018, 02:27 PM
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Hans Off Hans Off is offline
 
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That is fantastic! I want to see that £45 note!

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  #97  
Old 17 September 2018, 03:25 PM
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I learned that there's an expression hard-boiled police detectives use for blankly staring at someone when what they're saying doesn't make any sense: "Blinking limes." As in, "so this guy's feeding telling me this story about where he was last night, and I just blink limes at him." Even in the context of the dream, it seemed a little odd, so the detective helpfully explained, "Y'know, blinking limes. Giving him the green light with the eyes so he'll keep talking."

...it almost makes sense.
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  #98  
Old 18 September 2018, 01:53 PM
Bill Bill is offline
 
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I visited a restaurant as part of a group.

My copy of the menu was incomplete (the others apparently had complete menus), so I couldn't order the enchiladas I wanted.

Thanks.

Bill
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  #99  
Old 18 September 2018, 02:39 PM
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Crius of CoH Crius of CoH is offline
 
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There is a TV show set in the E. E. "Doc" Smith "Lensman" universe, about giant starships with vast crews searching the galaxy to repatriate lost Earth colonies. The episode in the dream had Our Heroes trapped on a pirate ship (a la 15th-16th Century historical pirates) on a lost colony. Which, somehow, was on the heroes' starship - which is how we know just how big the ship is. To me, this would have made more sense being set on a General Systems Vehicle in Iain M. Banks' "Culture" universe (or similar), but my dream-brain wants what it wants.

The show was pretty darned cool; I wish it were real.
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  #100  
Old 18 September 2018, 02:43 PM
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Whalephant

I'm on a college trip to a nuclear missile factory. The reactor there starts melting down. I'm the only one who panics and scrambles down the scaffolding to the parking lot. At least one classmate told me nonchalantly "it's okay. Trump will fix it." as I'm climbing down.
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