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Old 24 April 2013, 08:44 PM
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Spit Take Jokes you should have understood much sooner

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I only just now understood the joke in the Groucho Marx line, "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Anyone else have examples of jokes it took much longer for them to "get" than it should have?
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Old 24 April 2013, 08:49 PM
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I was well into my 20's before I understood the "cockpit" joke in Airplane!
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Old 24 April 2013, 09:07 PM
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My kids were watching Disney's Peter Pan the other day, a movie I saw dozens of times when DS was still ds. Between being distracted by the outdated jokes (and finally being able to discuss it with DS: "What makes the Red Man Red? The answer is 'racism'."), I found a few jokes that I had never even noticed. Mr Smee to the Crocodile: "There'll be no handouts today. Shoo now, shoo!"
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Old 24 April 2013, 10:59 PM
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Two passengers on a bus:

Passenger 1: I'm trying to get to 4th and Main, could you tell me how to get there?

Passenger 2: Sure, just watch me and get off two stops before I do!
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Old 24 April 2013, 11:16 PM
Magdalene Magdalene is offline
 
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This one was said by a friend of mine when she was 17. But when she was 17, she worked at a horse stable, and it was her job to collect urine samples from the horses. So she'd go from stall to stall and ask the handlers, "Are you (Horse's Name)?"

This was fine, until she got to one stall and asked the handler (who was apparently new and a young, good-looking guy), "Are you In The Mood?"

She couldn't figure out why the guy turned bright red and sputtered a bit before he said, "Oh--the horse--yes."

She said the worst part of this was telling the story to her husband when she was 33, and *then* realizing 16 years later what had flustered the handler so badly!

Magdalene
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Old 24 April 2013, 11:21 PM
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D'oh!

Q: If you were a landscape artist, what colors would you paint the sun and the wind?

A: The sun rose and the wind blue.
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  #7  
Old 25 April 2013, 04:31 AM
blucanary blucanary is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htonl View Post
I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I only just now understood the joke in the Groucho Marx line, "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Anyone else have examples of jokes it took much longer for them to "get" than it should have?
You know it took seeing it written down to get this one.
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  #8  
Old 25 April 2013, 05:05 AM
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You can call me anything you like just don't call me late for dinner.

My father used this all the time. I was grown before I got it.

Gibbie
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Old 25 April 2013, 06:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blucanary View Post
You know it took seeing it written down to get this one.
The Bellamy Brothers song didn't give it away? Of course, now I have an ear worm!
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  #10  
Old 25 April 2013, 12:23 PM
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My then 5-year-old son was looking through an I Spy book while on a road trip and asked me what bark was. I explained it was the outside of a tree, like the skin. My dad piped up and said it mostly came from the dogwood tree.

I took me a half an hour to see what he did there.
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Old 25 April 2013, 04:21 PM
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Visiting Grandma circa 1984, she informed us that the then-ubiquitous old lady from the Wendy's commercials ("Where's the beef?!") was dead. "Really, what happened?" "She got hit by a big Mack." (Big Mac).

After decades of listening to "Hotel California," I probably still wouldn't have picked up on "She got the Mercedes bends" if I hadn't read the lyric sheet at some point.
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Old 25 April 2013, 04:25 PM
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My Grandmother used to have a sign in the bathroom which read "When you are up to your tail in alligators it is sometimes hard to remember your object was to drain the swamp".

As a kid I always thought it was some admonishment to remember to flush the toilet.
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  #13  
Old 25 April 2013, 04:44 PM
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Speaking of bathroom signs, I had to have the sign "We aim to please, you aim too please." explained to me several times before I finally got it.
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  #14  
Old 25 April 2013, 08:40 PM
fitz1980 fitz1980 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdalene View Post
This was fine, until she got to one stall and asked the handler (who was apparently new and a young, good-looking guy), "Are you In The Mood?"

She couldn't figure out why the guy turned bright red and sputtered a bit before he said, "Oh--the horse--yes."
Sort of OT but you get a lot of those when bartending given the often NFBSK names of many shots.

"can I get a screaming orgasm?"
"well my shift doesn't end for an hour, but if you are still around...."

"I want a redheaded slut."
"ahh, who doesn't."

"I need three blowjobs."
"sure you're up to it?"
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  #15  
Old 25 April 2013, 08:42 PM
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Nobody ever laughs when I order a virgin shrimp cocktail, though.
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Old 25 April 2013, 08:45 PM
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Which brings up the question of how that would differ from a slutty shrimp cocktail?
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  #17  
Old 25 April 2013, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
My Grandmother used to have a sign in the bathroom which read "When you are up to your tail in alligators it is sometimes hard to remember your object was to drain the swamp".
If it makes you feel any better, I tried turning this over in my head all morning, and even googled it (which resulted in a history of a similar expression in politics) but still haven't the slightest idea how to understand it as a joke.
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  #18  
Old 25 April 2013, 09:19 PM
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I'm not sure that it is a joke per se, more of a saying that I didn't get.
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  #19  
Old 26 April 2013, 01:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramblin' Dave View Post
After decades of listening to "Hotel California," I probably still wouldn't have picked up on "She got the Mercedes bends" if I hadn't read the lyric sheet at some point.
I didn't know about that one. Or "Tiffany-twisted". There are some subtle references in that song, but in this case it's more a matter of hearing than cognition. Most people probably don't interpret those lyrics into the correct words unless they've looked at them written down.
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  #20  
Old 26 April 2013, 04:27 PM
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This isn't hilarious or anything, but there's a Wendy's commercial where one guy says, "I'm going to share this with my web friends." The spokeswoman replies, "I'm going to share it with my taste buds." It took me several viewings to get that "buds" is a pun, being a synonym for friends.
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