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Old 09 May 2016, 11:50 PM
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Elwood Elwood is offline
Join Date: 28 February 2003
Location: Fairmont, WV
Posts: 3,832
Default LGBT-phobia

A little bit of background: My oldest child, who is about to graduate high school, is a transgendered man. He has been "out" fully as a man for over a year. He uses men's restrooms, takes testosterone injections, answers to a male name and is weeks away from having a legal name change. Before that, he labeled himself "gender fluid" and "pansexual." He has had the same girlfriend, "J" for over two years. "J's" parents are not particularly fond of the relationship. They won't let my son visit their house, but they seemed to have grown more tolerant over it lately--excitedly taking pre-prom pictures of the happy couple and generally acting like they were about over it.

So it came as a shock today when J's parents changed the locks on their doors and told her she was no longer welcome in their home. Worse still, when my son "D" went to pick her up so that they could get back to my house and regroup and hopefully find a relative to stay with, J's mom took down D's license plate and threatened to call the police on him! D wisely stopped the car and called the police himself to report what had transpired. The police came and talked J's parents into letting her back in the house, but it is hard to say for how long.

It just makes me want to scream "it's your daughter!Are you really so phobic that you would rather her stand outside in the rain with no place to go than to make peace with a long-time situation? And what's with threatening to call the police on my son? How could that possibly help the situation?

I don't even begin to know what to do next. I guess the school counselor is supposed to try and mediate between J and her parents tomorrow, but I can't imagine that will have any binding or long-lasting effect. In the meantime, I am not sure what I can do to help that won't cause legal trouble down the road. I'm sure we haven't heard the end of this one.
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Old 09 May 2016, 11:53 PM
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Lainie Lainie is offline
Join Date: 29 August 2005
Location: Suburban Columbus, OH
Posts: 74,585

Any consequences for stealing your son's license plate?
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Old 09 May 2016, 11:55 PM
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Elwood Elwood is offline
Join Date: 28 February 2003
Location: Fairmont, WV
Posts: 3,832

I meant took down the number.
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Old 10 May 2016, 12:17 AM
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Mouse Mouse is offline
Join Date: 10 July 2003
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 7,591

Really wish I could say something more than just "That sucks and I'm sorry."

Hope everything gets resolved. <3
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Old 10 May 2016, 02:15 AM
Dr. Dave Dr. Dave is offline
Join Date: 28 June 2005
Location: Montgomery County, MD
Posts: 5,279

Yeah, sorry you are going through this, and of course your son and J. Just out of curiosity, how old is J? I ask because I wonder what possible crime could the parents claim your son was committing? Is she a minor, in which case would they have been committing a crime by abandoning her?*

I do not know the laws in WV and am not a lawyer in any state or territory.
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Old 10 May 2016, 02:40 AM
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Mochrie99 Mochrie99 is offline
Join Date: 26 April 2005
Location: Sarnia, Ontario
Posts: 464

The fact people like J's parents exist are among the reasons that I absolutely abhor and loathe humanity (for the most part). I'm so sorry for everything your son and J are going through.

Last edited by Mochrie99; 10 May 2016 at 02:40 AM. Reason: Forgot a couple of words.
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Old 10 May 2016, 04:18 PM
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Ali Infree Ali Infree is offline
Join Date: 02 February 2007
Location: Colliers, WV
Posts: 2,597

That really stinks, and I wish I could say that I have never heard of this happening. Unfortunately I cannot. My agency works with youth and we have spent a little time (really not a lot) meeting with LGBT youth in this part of the state. One couple of lesbian girls out staff met at a high school were both living with grandparents.
Our concern is that a high number of LGBT youth end up homeless. We have not met many and some youth, like these young women, find alternative households in which to live. I hope that J is able to do this.
I find it abhorrent that parents would turn their child out over things like this, but it happens. Dammit

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Old 10 May 2016, 04:45 PM
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Alarm Alarm is offline
Join Date: 26 May 2011
Location: Nepean, ON
Posts: 5,807

This irrational phobia of the other has to stop.
We are all human beings. It should not matter the colour of your skin, or the shape of your underoos.
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Old 10 May 2016, 05:46 PM
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Not_Done_Living Not_Done_Living is offline
Join Date: 02 September 2006
Location: Markham, ON
Posts: 3,735

i feel so bad for this young girl and by extension your son --- i suspect her parents thought that by changing the locks they would shock her into abandoning your son and when that didn't happen -- they turned back to parental authorities..

one day they will regret their closed mindedness.. stay strong and supportive.
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