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Old 08 December 2017, 12:47 PM
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Avril Avril is offline
Join Date: 07 August 2002
Location: Princeton, NJ
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Default Backlash Grows for PA Lawmaker Over 'I Don't Like Men' Comment

Backlash Grows for PA Lawmaker Over 'I Don't Like Men' Comment

Gov. Tom Wolf is calling on the Pennsylvania House of Representatives to "reexamine" one of State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe's roles after video surfaced of Metcalfe lashing out in what's been called a homophobic rant directed at State Rep. Matt Bradford. Additionally, the Pennsylvania Democratic Party is calling for his resignation following the remarks.
The video is embedded in the article, but I'll put it here for your ease of viewing, too:

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Old 08 December 2017, 12:50 PM
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Lainie Lainie is offline
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Someone's masculinity is a bit fragile.

ETA: His tone was completely disrespectful, too. He must be awful to work with.
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Old 08 December 2017, 02:19 PM
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thorny locust thorny locust is offline
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That is not at all what I was expecting from the headline.

As somebody who would be really annoyed if, say, another planning board member was in the habit of reaching over and putting their hands on me whenever they wanted to say something; and as somebody who does often physically back away from the farmers' market vendor (same gender as me) who always wants to put her hands on me when she talks: let me first say this: If someone doesn't want you to touch them, you shouldn't touch them. And if you don't want somebody who keeps doing so to touch you, you ought to be able to tell them so.

That, however, is not how to tell them!

For one thing, sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. If a touch is annoying or even if it's sexually out of line (which that one showed no sign of being), it is so regardless of anybody's orientation.

For another, unless Metcalfe's previously told the guy repeatedly in less public situations to stop doing that, he shouldn't be making a loud noise about it in the middle of a public meeting. Even if he has, saying "Mr. Bradford, I've asked you before, please stop grabbing at me!" would have gotten the point across without all of this fuss.
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Old 08 December 2017, 06:18 PM
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Avril Avril is offline
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I think it's fine to say you don't want to be touched, though the first time I would expect someone to just say, "I don't like to be touched," or "please don't touch me."

This is, as you say, absolutely not the way to tell them. Would he have a hissy fit if a female colleague touched his arm? "I have a wife!" I hate how every possible physical contact is sexualized.
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