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  #1  
Old 08 December 2007, 07:21 PM
rynder
 
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Default Why Jesus is better than Santa Claus

Now that the holidays are here, my inbox is filling with this stuff. Yay?

Quote:
Why Jesus is better than Santa Claus


·Santa lives in the North Pole – JESUS is everywhere.

·Santa rides in a sleigh – JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

·Santa comes but once a year – JESUS is an ever present help.

·Santa fills your stockings with goodies – JESUS supplies all your needs.

·Santa comes down your chimney uninvited….JESUS stands at your door and knocks and then enters your heart.

·You have to wait in line to see Santa…JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

·Santa lets you sit on his lap – JESUS lets you rest in his arms.

·Santa doesn’t know your name, all he can say is “Hi little boy or girl, what’s your name?”….JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does he know our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

·Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly –JESUS has a heart full of love.

·All Santa can offer is HO HO HO - JESUS offers health, help and hope.

·Santa says “you better not cry” – JESUS says “Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.”

·Santa’s little helpers make toys…..JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.

·Santa may makes you chuckle but…..JESUS gives you joy! That is your strength.

·While Santa puts gifts under your tree – JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.

It’s obvious there is really no comparison. We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about. We need to put Christ back in Christmas; Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Yes, Jesus is better, even better than Santa Claus.

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!
I want to see some throwdown between santa and jesus. The eighth point makes jesus sound really creepy, like some sort of super-stalker.
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  #2  
Old 08 December 2007, 07:23 PM
Ryda Wong, EBfCo. Ryda Wong, EBfCo. is offline
 
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Ah, but what we're missing here is the third comparison: Why Jesus is better than Santa, but why Chuck Norris kicks both their *sses.
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  #3  
Old 08 December 2007, 07:45 PM
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Amigone201 Amigone201 is offline
 
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Quote:
·Santa lives in the North Pole – JESUS is everywhere.
Wow. I knew Santa was fat, but Jesus must be REALLY fat.
Quote:
·Santa comes but once a year – JESUS is an ever present help.
Big deal. I knew a girl who came a lot more than either one of 'em.
Quote:
·Santa comes down your chimney uninvited….JESUS stands at your door and knocks and then enters your heart.
Some of His followers, however, could stand to learn the meaning of "no thanks."
Quote:
·Santa lets you sit on his lap – JESUS lets you rest in his arms.
So you're saying Jesus and Santa are both equally gay for me?
Quote:
·Santa doesn’t know your name, all he can say is “Hi little boy or girl, what’s your name?”….JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does he know our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
That's NFBSKing creepy.
Quote:
·All Santa can offer is HO HO HO - JESUS offers health, help and hope.
I have all those. I'll take the ho.
Quote:
·While Santa puts gifts under your tree – JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.
Yeah, okay, but what's He done for me lately?
Quote:
We need to put Christ back in Christmas
No one took the "Christ" out of Christmas. People can say, spell, or celebrate it however they want, you included. Your only complaint is that people aren't doing it the way you want them to, and frankly, you need to get over it.
Quote:
Jesus is still the reason for the season.
No. The season is caused by Earth's northern hemisphere being tilted away from the sun during winter months. This would happen whether we had had a Jesus or not.
Quote:
Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!
You seem to have a little typo there. Some irregular capitals, perhaps? Try proofreading next time.
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  #4  
Old 08 December 2007, 08:13 PM
SmallTownKid's Avatar
SmallTownKid SmallTownKid is offline
 
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Spit Take

Quote:
·Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly –JESUS has ripped abs
Fixed! What? I bet Santa couldn't carry one of these babies around :


I am so going to Hell.
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  #5  
Old 08 December 2007, 09:36 PM
Canuckistan's Avatar
Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Frying Pan

Quote:
Santa comes but once a year – JESUS is an ever present help.
Actually, Jesus has only come once in the past 2,000 years.

They're both lousy lovers, but Santa definitely has the edge here.
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  #6  
Old 08 December 2007, 09:50 PM
hevach
 
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Quote:
·Santa doesn’t know your name, all he can say is “Hi little boy or girl, what’s your name?”….JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does he know our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
No, no, Santa knows your name. It's Santa's helpers dressing up in the Santa suits at the mall that don't know your name.

I bet if one of Jesus's little helpers dressed up in a Jesus suit, they wouldn't know my name either.
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  #7  
Old 08 December 2007, 10:22 PM
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Simply Madeline Simply Madeline is offline
 
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Quote:
JESUS rides on the wind
JESUS needs to reduce the beans in his diet.
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  #8  
Old 09 December 2007, 01:19 AM
Tyrone Slothrop
 
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Quote:
·Santa doesn’t know your name, all he can say is “Hi little boy or girl, what’s your name?”….JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does he know our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Quote:
·You have to wait in line to see Santa…JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Quote:
·Santa lets you sit on his lap – JESUS lets you rest in his arms while his hands get a little frisky
Quote:
·Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly –JESUS has a jar full of hearts that he loves.
I'll take Santa's little blunders over Jesus' scary stalker, homicidal tendencies any day.

I'm going to hell anyway...may as well seal the deal.
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  #9  
Old 09 December 2007, 01:25 AM
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Johnny Slick Johnny Slick is offline
 
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If you disagree with Santa's sense of morality you get coal in your stocking. If you disagree with Jesus's, you go straight to HELL DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.
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  #10  
Old 09 December 2007, 01:54 AM
Tyrone Slothrop
 
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Soapbox

Oh, and forget Santa and Jesus.

The major focus of the season is to Free Jolly Jenkins!!
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  #11  
Old 09 December 2007, 07:53 AM
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damian damian is offline
 
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Santa brings me presents - Jesus is not real.


See you in Hell, SmallTownKid.
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  #12  
Old 09 December 2007, 12:42 PM
Pseudo_Croat
 
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I think you folks ought to lighten up a little about this one, because if it weren't for Jesus, Santa would be out of a job. Think about it.

- Pseudo_Croat
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  #13  
Old 09 December 2007, 12:47 PM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Frying Pan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pseudo_Croat View Post
I think you folks ought to lighten up a little about this one, because if it weren't for Jesus, Santa would be out of a job. Think about it.
If Jesus can co-opt a holiday, so can Santa. His job security is secure.

Besides, if the OP has its way, Santa would be on the dole, and Jesus would be giving everyone "joy" and "happiness." And those are really crappy presents, compared with a Wii. I'd rather have the Wii.

And, really, with my benefits, I can get all sorts of drugs that give me "joy" and "happiness," thereby rendering Jesus redundant. Deity-downsizing time!
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  #14  
Old 09 December 2007, 03:26 PM
Tarquin Farquart's Avatar
Tarquin Farquart Tarquin Farquart is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hevach View Post
I bet if one of Jesus's little helpers dressed up in a Jesus suit, they wouldn't know my name either.
You know, I'd really like to see that.
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  #15  
Old 09 December 2007, 03:54 PM
FullMetal FullMetal is offline
 
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one missing comparision...

Santa knows if you've been bad or good, So does Jesus

But if Santa knows you've been bad he gives you coal, Jesus sends you to burn forever in hell...

I'll take the coal thanks...
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  #16  
Old 09 December 2007, 04:01 PM
Canuckistan's Avatar
Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Frying Pan

Quote:
Originally Posted by FullMetal View Post
I'll take the coal thanks...
So would Johnny, about six posts above yours.
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  #17  
Old 09 December 2007, 04:22 PM
SmallTownKid's Avatar
SmallTownKid SmallTownKid is offline
 
Join Date: 25 March 2006
Location: Kansas
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Devil I'll bring the chips!

Quote:
Originally Posted by damian View Post
Santa brings me presents - Jesus is not real.


See you in Hell, SmallTownKid.

By looks of it, I'd say we should have a hopping party down there! All the cool kids are coming!
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  #18  
Old 09 December 2007, 04:36 PM
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SatansHobbit SatansHobbit is offline
 
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Santa's going to take over Easter too, just as soon as the elves make a cross strong enough to hold the fat bastard.

The Easter bunny's going to have to diversify or he's on the dole.
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  #19  
Old 09 December 2007, 04:38 PM
Tarquin Farquart's Avatar
Tarquin Farquart Tarquin Farquart is offline
 
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Imagine what would happen if Jesus and Santa Claus teamed up...
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  #20  
Old 09 December 2007, 04:48 PM
Canuckistan's Avatar
Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Frying Pan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart View Post
Imagine what would happen if Jesus and Santa Claus teamed up...
This team would come only once a millennium.

That's still pretty lousy in the loving department.
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