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  #41  
Old 17 October 2007, 05:20 PM
Aud 1 Aud 1 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lancastrian View Post
(snipped) If the entire family, parents, teens, other kids, whatever, do not have a problem with such an arrangement and no actual laws are being broken, who cares how they choose to live?
sleeping arrangement snobs.
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  #42  
Old 17 October 2007, 05:28 PM
Christie Christie is offline
 
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Originally Posted by Lancastrian View Post
I thought it was fairly clear I was not simply addressing the parent's feelings on this subject. Let me say it again: If the entire family, parents, teens, other kids, whatever, do not have a problem with such an arrangement and no actual laws are being broken, who cares how they choose to live?
You got me. In the unlikely event that there are teenagers out there thrilled to very core of their being to share a room with their mother and father then, I agree, it's nobody's business but theirs.
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  #43  
Old 17 October 2007, 05:56 PM
mommyrex
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christie View Post
You got me. In the unlikely event that there are teenagers out there thrilled to very core of their being to share a room with their mother and father then, I agree, it's nobody's business but theirs.
As long as it's "to the very core of their being".
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  #44  
Old 17 October 2007, 06:00 PM
Christie Christie is offline
 
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Originally Posted by mommyrex View Post
As long as it's "to the very core of their being".
What's that supposed to mean? If they aren't happy about it, and I mean genuinely happy why would any parent insist? I mean are we really having this debate? That teenagers should be sharing rooms with their parents? Alrighty then.
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  #45  
Old 17 October 2007, 07:24 PM
mommyrex
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christie View Post
What's that supposed to mean? If they aren't happy about it, and I mean genuinely happy why would any parent insist? I mean are we really having this debate? That teenagers should be sharing rooms with their parents? Alrighty then.
No, Christie. Only you are having this debate.

Doug says this
Quote:
If it's alright for the poor to co-sleep, why is not okay for the rich? I say, leave it up to the individual families on how they setup sleeping arrangements. Keep the government out of the bedroom.
and you reply
Quote:
And I say, if you have other alternatives than you should pursue them. Unless you genuinely believe that teenagers would be thrilled to be sharing a room with dear old mom and dad. And why the stark choice here between rich and poor? No middle ground for you Doug?
Who's missing the middle ground? You just invented (by implication) the problem of teenagers being forced to sleep with their parents.

And on privacy:
Quote:
Why he seems to feel compelled to defend parents who do not respect their children's right to privacy is a mystery to me
Doug defended co-sleepers and the general right of families to sleep as they see fit. You imply that co-sleepers do not respect their children's right to privacy. I'm wondering how you define children's right to privacy.

I appreciated when you finally came out and said what concerned you:
Quote:
what I am interested in is how children and teenagers would feel about sharing a room with their parents or with other siblings if there are other rooms in the house that could be used for bedrooms. I don't think most would appreciate it. Still, as there is no law (repeat, there is no law) parents can pretty much do what they want, can't they?
But you must realize that "I don't think most would appreciate it" is hardly a useful argument against a practice.

Finally, Lancastrian offered that maybe your sense of privacy wasn't everyone's, and that some people might actually be fine with sleeping arrangements you wouldn't like. To which you eventually replied
Quote:
In the unlikely event that there are teenagers out there thrilled to very core of their being to share a room with their mother and father then, I agree, it's nobody's business but theirs.
Between your resorting back to the "teenagers sharing bedrooms with parents" idea that you made up, and the suggestion (sarcastic, I hope) that such people would have to be not just okay with it but "thrilled to the very core of their being" for it to be nobody else's business, and the overall statement dripping with contempt for other people's preferences, my snark finally outed. I did restrain myself for a while.
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  #46  
Old 17 October 2007, 11:53 PM
latebloomer latebloomer is offline
 
 
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Of course, until fairly recently in this country, and STILL in many parts of the world, entire families sleep or slept in one room, tent, or cabin. Guess that "right to privacy" hadn't developed yet.

As to the poster who claimed you wouldn't respect privacy as an adult if you had to share rooms as a kid, I respectfully disagree. We were eight people in three bedrooms and we absolutely respected each other's space and property. It's the only way to survive such close quarters.
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  #47  
Old 18 October 2007, 03:38 AM
Doug4.7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by latebloomer View Post
As to the poster who claimed you wouldn't respect privacy as an adult if you had to share rooms as a kid, I respectfully disagree. We were eight people in three bedrooms and we absolutely respected each other's space and property. It's the only way to survive such close quarters.
In the "I had to walk up hill in the snow..." theme, my wife's family of 5 slept in a 3 room house.
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  #48  
Old 04 November 2007, 04:56 AM
CatPurrson
 
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Tsk, Tsk

The whole opposite-sex siblings sharing rooms thing makes me VERY uneasy. This is because I can tell you of three people that I know/knew personally who were molested by older brothers because they had to share bedrooms. One was a family member. So, yeah, I've got a bit of a problem with the whole sitch.

Now, sharing with parents is a different thing, to me. First of all, if a parent is going to molest their kid, sleeping in separate bedrooms isn't going to stop 'em. Sleeping in the same bed, once the child hits puberty, gets a bit dodgy to me, but still... (Especially if we're talking opposite sex parent and child.)

I remember spending the night in hotels with my parents, and usually mom and I would sleep in one bed, and dad and kid sis in the other. This was around the time I hit puberty, and I was relieved 'cause it just felt funny to me to sleep in the same bed with my dad. (In a "normal" family, sis and I would've just shared a bed, but in our family, we woulda killed each other. That, and sis preferred to sleep with a parental unit.)

The funny thing is that now I prefer to sleep alone, and my sis (now in her
20's) still frequently sleeps with mom. I'm not sure if I'd ever get used to sleeping with somebody else at this point. I can see it now, if I ever get married-- we'll have twin beds, just like on the old sitcoms!

Now cats on my bed, that's a different story!

CatPurrson
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  #49  
Old 05 November 2007, 05:36 PM
DennyJ
 
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As I said on the other thread:

I think learning to share space is a very important lesson and if a child is fortunate enough to have siblings, they should share a room--even if there is other space available. Privacy in Western countries has been taken to such a far extreme that it's become a joke!
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  #50  
Old 05 November 2007, 05:42 PM
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Cervus Cervus is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyJ View Post
As I said on the other thread:

I think learning to share space is a very important lesson and if a child is fortunate enough to have siblings, they should share a room--even if there is other space available. Privacy in Western countries has been taken to such a far extreme that it's become a joke!
Could you please elaborate? Your post sounds like satire.

I believe that most people, especially children and teens, never get as much privacy as they need.
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  #51  
Old 05 November 2007, 05:48 PM
DennyJ
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervus View Post
Could you please elaborate? Your post sounds like satire.
I assure you, I'm quite serious.

Quote:
I believe that most people, especially children and teens, never get as much privacy as they need.
Privacy is not a "need", it's a luxury that people in the West confuse with a "need". I don't think our obsession with privacy is a thing that builds character in any way.
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  #52  
Old 05 November 2007, 05:49 PM
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Artemis Artemis is offline
 
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So if privacy isn't a need, you're cool with public masturbation?
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  #53  
Old 05 November 2007, 05:53 PM
DennyJ
 
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That's going to the other extreme!
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  #54  
Old 05 November 2007, 06:02 PM
Doug4.7
 
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D'oh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyJ View Post
Privacy is not a "need", it's a luxury that people in the West confuse with a "need". I don't think our obsession with privacy is a thing that builds character in any way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis View Post
So if privacy isn't a need, you're cool with public masturbation?
Yes, that is a logical extrapolation to DennyJ's post.
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  #55  
Old 05 November 2007, 06:02 PM
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Artemis Artemis is offline
 
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Well, then, if you agree that there are things that people essentially have to do (by law) in private (sex/sex related activities), then there is a need for privacy. Not a luxury.
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  #56  
Old 05 November 2007, 06:05 PM
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Cervus Cervus is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyJ View Post
Privacy is not a "need", it's a luxury that people in the West confuse with a "need". I don't think our obsession with privacy is a thing that builds character in any way.
Privacy is a basic human right. See article 12.
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  #57  
Old 15 November 2007, 05:25 PM
DennyJ
 
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That's a slightly different context for the word "privacy" than the one that was being discussed, but I take your point. I still believe that intrafamilial privacy is taken to an obsessive extreme in the United States.
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  #58  
Old 15 November 2007, 05:36 PM
Doug4.7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis View Post
Well, then, if you agree that there are things that people essentially have to do (by law) in private (sex/sex related activities), then there is a need for privacy. Not a luxury.
But to then extrapolate that 'right' to include not sleeping in the same room I think takes it to a ridiculous extreme.
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  #59  
Old 15 November 2007, 06:53 PM
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Artemis Artemis is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug4.7 View Post
But to then extrapolate that 'right' to include not sleeping in the same room I think takes it to a ridiculous extreme.
That was hyperbolic, granted. But I'm sure most people would have found it a pretty horrible (or really super great) experience to have been trapped in a single room all night with me during my formative, adolescent years...
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  #60  
Old 15 November 2007, 06:58 PM
Doug4.7
 
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Devil

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis View Post
That was hyperbolic, granted. But I'm sure most people would have found it a pretty horrible (or really super great) experience to have been trapped in a single room all night with me during my formative, adolescent years...
I hear you. You could ask my college roommates about how it was to sleep in the same room as me (they tell me I build bombs in my sleep...).
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