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  #1  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:03 AM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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Default When I'm in charge

Alright Snopsters you've just assumed power in a bloody... er I mean bloodless coup. Your political enemies... I mean your noble opponents have been put up against the wall.... err I mean sent off to labor camp. Did I say labor camps? I meant happy fun camps. And now its time to start making changes.

My list.

1. Metric system. Get used to it.
2. January, March, May, July, September get 31 days. All the other months get 30. February gets 31 days on leap year. No more having one month with 2-3 less days for no logical reason.
3. No more electoral college. We've reached the technological point where we can do direct elections. I'm sick of basically Ohio, Florida, Virginia, and Pennsylvania deciding every election. Direct Mixed-Member Proportional voting for all election.
4. All voting districts will be draw via the Shortest-Split-line mathematical algorithm. Gerrymandering will be made a high felony.
5. No more pennies. 5, 10, 25, 50, 1 dollar and 5 dollar coins. 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar polymer bills.
6. No more daylight savings time.
7. We're not Empire building here. No more "territories." Puerto Rico, Guam, Samoa, Virgin Islands... you either gonna become states or go at it on your own.
8. On the topic DC... you're a state as well. You have a higher population then Wyoming and Vermont, there's no reason you shouldn't get the same level of representation.
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  #2  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:17 AM
Magdalene Magdalene is offline
 
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After being nearly totaled in traffic because the driver was too busy talking on her cell phone to pay attention, I once told a friend of mine that if I ever came to power, I wanted permission to shoot all the stupid people.

Her response was that the U.S. would be reduced to a population of about 100, because to quote her, "You think most everybody's stupid."

I asked her if I could change that to just shooting stupid drivers. Her response, again, was that I would reduce the population of the U.S. to about 100 people.

Guess I shouldn't be in charge.

Could I demand an Ebil Greyhound in every home?

Magdalene
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  #3  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:23 AM
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Little Pink Pill Little Pink Pill is offline
 
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I'd be pretty good with most of the OP list, though I'd miss pennies for childishly nostalgic reasons (not enough to get sent to a Happy Fun Camp). And I'm all in on the daylight savings thing.

I'd add no more cell phone surveillance without a warrant.
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  #4  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:28 AM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Pink Pill View Post
I'd be pretty good with most of the OP list, though I'd miss pennies for childishly nostalgic reasons (not enough to get sent to a Happy Fun Camp). And I'm all in on the daylight savings thing.
Actually in all seriousness if I had my way, pennies and paper dollars would still be made and available in limited quantities for collectors and keepsake purposes. They just wouldn't be kept in general circulation.
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  #5  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:41 AM
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Beachlife! Beachlife! is offline
 
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I would change the priorities of funding such that making sure every kid had a quality education was the first and foremost priority. No more of this BS where we look the other way while the well off, mostly white people, give their kids expansive educations in lavish facilities while looking down their noses at the 'ghetto schools'.

I would also make sure that the social systems were designed to guarantee anyone under 18 food and a full range of medical care.

Next on the list would be working to make the country independent from foreign oil.

Once that's achieved, things will be sufficiently different that I can't say what the next step would be. Maybe abolishing political parties or moving towards an electoral system which makes it feasible for other political parties to join in.
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  #6  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:45 AM
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Dasla Dasla is offline
 
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In Australia we went metric before I was born. It is good.

As for money, we got rid of 1 and 2 cent coins decades ago. Have 1 and 2 dollar coins and polmer 5, 10, 20, 50 and 100 polymer notes.

The months...meh doesn't bother me either way.

As for the rest, the US election system is one of the reason people give why Australia shouldn't become a republic. But we don't have to do it the way the US does it. Not that I really understand it.
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  #7  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:47 AM
quink quink is offline
 
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I thought I'd miss pennies a little bit, even though I never paid with exact change so I had no practical use for them (too many years working retail taught me to hate that). I like to dump my change at the end of the day and then deposit it every few months, so I thought it would feel wrong not to have piles of pennies to roll up with the larger stuff.

I really don't though. For the first couple months it caught me off guard a couple times when I was expecting two cents change and got nothing, but otherwise it's like the coin never existed.
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  #8  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:56 AM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dasla View Post
As for the rest, the US election system is one of the reason people give why Australia shouldn't become a republic. But we don't have to do it the way the US does it. Not that I really understand it.
Really? It's such a logical and intuitive system.

You see every March the 3rd when the Swallows to return to Des Moines the two major political parties meet at midnight and choose their candidates by reading the entrails of a freshly killed pygmy marmoset. Then each state votes on those candidates via double elimination Halo 4 tournaments.

Then for the general election each state gets between 1 and 3452 votes depending inversely on how big it is and vote on the President unless the Speaker of the House calls for a fair catch, at which point the pinch hitter rule is in effect and in we go into double overtime shootout.

I've course I'm exaggerating for effect. I'm election in reality don't even make close to that much sense.

In somewhat seriousness yeah I tried explaining the American Primary/General election system, the Electoral College, and stuff like that to a British Army Sergeant in Afghanistan. I still think he probably thinks I was making most of it up.
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  #9  
Old 24 February 2014, 04:59 AM
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Beachlife! Beachlife! is offline
 
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I prefer the Halo 4 tournament to the electoral college, but it has to be a team tournament.
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  #10  
Old 24 February 2014, 05:03 AM
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Dasla Dasla is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeBentley View Post
Really? It's such a logical and intuitive system.

Speaker of the House calls for a fair catch, at which point the pinch hitter rule is in effect and in we go into double overtime shootout.
Well for a start we would have to change that to opening batsman.

I don't think our system is any better. And to be honest I think they don't want to become a republic and are looking for any excuse.
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  #11  
Old 24 February 2014, 05:08 AM
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crocoduck_hunter crocoduck_hunter is offline
 
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Minimum wage would be set at the living wage for the area.

CEO pay is capped based on some multiplier of the wage level of the lowest paid workers in the company: if you want to give yourself a raise, you're damned well giving one to the people who are actually earning the money.

OSHA, the EPA, the FDA, and all other environmental and workplace safety agencies are given massive budget increases in order to allow them to carry out yearly inspections of facilities, and any violations found will result in massive forfeitures and penalties for the company, which will include loss of any bonuses for the CEO & board of directors for the next 5 years, minimum. Any company that actually causes a catastrophe such as a chemical spill or refinery explosion that's found to be due to failure to adhere to safety protocols will be footing 100% of the bill for cleanup. If they can't, their assets will be seized and used to pay as much of the cost as is possible. If they can't clean up the mess they make, they don't deserve to be in business.

Rape prevention programs will be overhauled. Their new focus will be modeled after Canada's Don't Be That Guy campaign. We will no longer treat rapists as some sort of random natural occurrence that victims are expected to avoid.

Easter shall be renamed Cthulhuday.
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  #12  
Old 24 February 2014, 05:12 AM
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Hero_Mike Hero_Mike is offline
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeBentley View Post
1. Metric system. Get used to it.
5. No more pennies. 5, 10, 25, 50, 1 dollar and 5 dollar coins. 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar polymer bills.
6. No more daylight savings time.
7. We're not Empire building here. No more "territories." Puerto Rico, Guam, Samoa, Virgin Islands... you either gonna become states or go at it on your own.
Wouldn't it be easier to move to Saskatchewan?
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  #13  
Old 24 February 2014, 05:54 AM
jimmy101_again jimmy101_again is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
Next on the list would be working to make the country independent from foreign oil.
That one is pretty tough. You would have to start by making it illegal to export oil and other forms of energy (natural gas, propane etc.). The US is already a net exporter of oil. To make us independent of global markets we would have to both stop buying and stop selling oil and other forms of energy.

(The Keystone pipeline isn't about getting oil from Canada to the US, it is about getting oil from Canada to deep water ports in the Gulf of Mexico so it can be sold on the world market.)
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  #14  
Old 24 February 2014, 06:00 AM
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Aimee Evilpixie Aimee Evilpixie is offline
 
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Hello Kitty

All food on all menus would list all the ingredients in order of quantity in the final dish so that I NEVER HAVE TO ASK WHAT'S IN THE TUNA SALAD EVER AGAIN OR GET STUCK WITH AN UNMENTIONED LEMON CAKE YOU BASTARDS WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY THE CAKE WAS LEMON?!?!
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  #15  
Old 24 February 2014, 06:04 AM
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Errata Errata is offline
 
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In charge of the US? Not thinking big enough.

There are limits to what you can change about the US, because really we're only one part of a larger global economy and political network. You can only change so much about the component without changing the context within which it exists. There is plenty of room for improvement, obviously, but some problems are more tractable than others. I think we could do better than the current economic system, but changing just the US would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
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  #16  
Old 24 February 2014, 06:10 AM
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crocoduck_hunter crocoduck_hunter is offline
 
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Hey, we're Americans. We do the square peg/round hole thing all the time.

Let me get the hammer.
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  #17  
Old 24 February 2014, 06:32 AM
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Little Pink Pill Little Pink Pill is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee Evilpixie View Post
I NEVER HAVE TO ASK WHAT'S IN THE TUNA SALAD EVER AGAIN OR GET STUCK WITH AN UNMENTIONED LEMON CAKE YOU BASTARDS WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY THE CAKE WAS LEMON?!?!
So let it be written. So let it be done.
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  #18  
Old 24 February 2014, 06:52 AM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeBentley View Post
1. Metric system. Get used to it.
2. January, March, May, July, September get 31 days. All the other months get 30. February gets 31 days on leap year. No more having one month with 2-3 less days for no logical reason.
3. No more electoral college. We've reached the technological point where we can do direct elections. I'm sick of basically Ohio, Florida, Virginia, and Pennsylvania deciding every election. Direct Mixed-Member Proportional voting for all election.
4. All voting districts will be draw via the Shortest-Split-line mathematical algorithm. Gerrymandering will be made a high felony.
5. No more pennies. 5, 10, 25, 50, 1 dollar and 5 dollar coins. 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar polymer bills.
6. No more daylight savings time.
7. We're not Empire building here. No more "territories." Puerto Rico, Guam, Samoa, Virgin Islands... you either gonna become states or go at it on your own.
8. On the topic DC... you're a state as well. You have a higher population then Wyoming and Vermont, there's no reason you shouldn't get the same level of representation.
9. Simplified phonetic spelling.

10. Honestly (and despite being the board's on call strawman libertarian, this is probably where I disagree with them the most) I'd probably get rid of Federalism. Each state being its own autonomous little government back in the Colonial Days made a lot of sense, in fact it was pretty much essential, it had a lot of advantages up until the Industrial Revolution and while I personally think the Civil War should have been the moment we at least revisited the concept you could maybe make a fair argument that at least parts of it where necessary up until the information age took off, we're at the point where it is doing loads more harm then good.

11. Listen I don't care if we get a flat tax, a scaling tax, an income tax, a sales tax, a 9/9/9 plan, a tax of breakfast burritos whatever... just a tax plan that is understandable to the average American. Right now if you were to print it out in standard 12 point Times New Roman on standard sized paper the United States Tax Code would be almost 74,000 pages.
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  #19  
Old 24 February 2014, 07:37 AM
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ganzfeld ganzfeld is offline
 
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Certain languages (not to be named) have been literally destroyed by well-meaning "simplification". If there ever were a libertarian cause I'd get behind, it would be to oppose any "simplified" spelling. There's a lot more to a word than its pronunciation. You make it simpler and you may end up with a language for simpletons.
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  #20  
Old 24 February 2014, 08:11 AM
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Horse Chestnut Horse Chestnut is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee Evilpixie View Post
All food on all menus would list all the ingredients in order of quantity in the final dish so that I NEVER HAVE TO ASK WHAT'S IN THE TUNA SALAD EVER AGAIN OR GET STUCK WITH AN UNMENTIONED LEMON CAKE YOU BASTARDS WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY THE CAKE WAS LEMON?!?!
In Horse Chestnutistan, all cake will be lemon cake. Oh, and free college education and all that other stuff, too.
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