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  #101  
Old 11 December 2017, 07:56 PM
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I think so long as you don't feel entitled to the sex in exchange for doing things that friends do, you're not a "nice guy." You just have a friend that you think is hot and wouldn't say no to if the subject came up.
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  #102  
Old 11 December 2017, 08:05 PM
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I don't know, I think there is a fine line between hoping and expecting in that most Nice guys follow a path of hoping that often leads to expecting.
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  #103  
Old 11 December 2017, 08:36 PM
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I can see the slippery slope part of it. I am trying to keep an eye on it.

Declaring my interest keeps me somewhat from being a nice guy, I think. I'm not trying to sneak in the backdoor. And I am his friend either way. I wouldn't consider that second place or anything.
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  #104  
Old 11 December 2017, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geminilee View Post
And I am his friend either way. I wouldn't consider that second place or anything.
Yeah I think that's the aspect that stops it from being NiceGuyish. Nice Guys think being put in the Friend Zone is the worst thing that can happen and a terrible outcome.
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  #105  
Old 11 December 2017, 09:58 PM
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I think the problem comes in the doing more than you otherwise would. It's a problem that you are offering, and it's a problem that they are accepting.

It's good to make it overt, but the result of doing so ought to be for both parties to realize that it is an unhealthy arrangement.

Doing something for a friend that you would do for any other friend, and you have hopes about the friendship turning into more--not necessarily unhealthy. (Still can be, though.)

Doing something for a friend that you would not do for other friends, because you have hopes about where the friendship is going--this is bad, bad, news.
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  #106  
Old 12 December 2017, 12:09 AM
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It isn't necessarily more than I would do for a friend. I have done more for friends. It is just that usually they are somewhat closer a friend. Also, I was in a situation where doing more didn't impact me a lot.

To be fair, the helping people thing is probably a problem, but I don't think it is much more of a problem in this case than it is in general. In the past I have helped people to my detriment. This time I was in able to do so without harming myself. So I am not sure how to judge the healthiness compared to any other friendship or relationship I have.
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  #107  
Old 12 December 2017, 01:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geminilee View Post
I am his friend either way. I wouldn't consider that second place or anything.
Agreeing with GM: I think that makes it OK, and that that's what makes it OK. You're allowed to have the hots for your friends, as long as you can comfortably continue not to act on that if they're not interested. It's if your friendship is based primarily on the hots that there's a problem. (There's a different sort of problem if you're so upset by its being unreciprocated that you don't want to be around them if there's not going to be sex involved; but IME, for me at least -- and I may be odd -- frequent exposure to the friend on a clearly just-friends basis tends to cause the hots to diminish faster than absence does.)
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  #108  
Old 12 December 2017, 04:13 AM
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Nah, I think dishonesty and entitlement are key components of Nice Guyism. If you're honest about your intentions and fully aware and accepting of the fact that your favors don't entitle you to the other person's romantic or sexual attention, you're fine. For your own sake, you might keep in mind that some people, if given the opportunity, will use people like you, but that's another subject.
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  #109  
Old 12 December 2017, 10:41 AM
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In the article below, there's a picture of a Ford Focus being driven over a bridge. Where is that? Is it Chicago?

http://www.autonews.com/article/2017...M06/171219941/

(It's a stupid question because of the reason I'm asking - that's clearly the model for one of the areas in the Lego City: Undercover computer game...)
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  #110  
Old 12 December 2017, 01:37 PM
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No way, that's the 'Burg. Should have recognized it right off with the PPG building (the one with the four turrets).

Probably taken from the Rachel Carson Bridge.
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  #111  
Old 12 December 2017, 03:28 PM
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Keeper of the Mad Bunnies Keeper of the Mad Bunnies is online now
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
No way, that's the 'Burg. Should have recognized it right off with the PPG building (the one with the four turrets).

Probably taken from the Rachel Carson Bridge.
Huh. I guess I travelled to the North side less than I thought when I lived there. Never realized there was a bridge named for Rachel Carson.
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  #112  
Old 12 December 2017, 03:57 PM
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When did you live there? Because it was named that in 2006.
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  #113  
Old 12 December 2017, 10:23 PM
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Stupid Question: Is it normal to respond to all business emails telling the sender that you got their email?

Background: I work in retail, specifically in inventory and merchandising. I'm in the stockroom most of the time, and spend a lot of time moving merchandise, loading and unloading customer cars, shipping and receiving, fixing displays, etc. In other words I'm in motion all day and spend very little time in front of a computer.

Now, on my last review my direct supervisor dinged me on my communication skills, specifically the fact that when he sends me an email telling me about some task that needs to be done, I don't immediately send him an email back telling him that I've read his email. I realize that it takes a few seconds to respond "Okay", but really? I need to tell him I've read all his emails (many of which he doesn't need to send, and would be better communicated if he simply talked to me in person)? The way I figure it, if I need to respond to an email that says "Make sure that the new display merchandise for tomorrow is pulled and ready to go", it should be if I don't actually get that done, as opposed to telling him I've read his email.

I can see the value of responding in an office situation, or if he was offsite, but he's usually just sitting at his desk, and sends emails so he doesn't have to go down to the stockroom, where it's cold(er than he likes).

Anyway, is this really a thing?
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  #114  
Old 12 December 2017, 10:41 PM
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I don't think it is. Why doesn't your boss just request a read receipt on all of his/her emails?
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  #115  
Old 12 December 2017, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
I don't think it is. Why doesn't your boss just request a read receipt on all of his/her emails?
I'd be willing to bet he doesn't know what a read receipt is. He's not that bright about a lot of things, and honestly tends to make things more complicated than they need to be.

This may very well just be a little bit of a power play on his part - my manager definitely likes to show everyone how important he is*. Wanting me to tell him I've read his Very Important Words is in character.

Like I said, this makes more sense if you're communicating with people who are offsite. This guy's literally in an office directly above me, and just can't be bothered to get off his ass and walk downstairs (or take the elevator).

*he's not that important.
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  #116  
Old 13 December 2017, 01:29 AM
KirkMcD KirkMcD is offline
 
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If an email request is going to take a while to complete, I will acknowledge that I'm working on it.

-- Karyn
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  #117  
Old 13 December 2017, 02:09 AM
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I'm with Karyn; I'll respond if it's going to take a while, otherwise it's on the sender to set up read receipts or explicitly ask for confirmation if they need it. Your boss sounds unpleasant, Roadsterboy.
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  #118  
Old 13 December 2017, 03:22 AM
UrbanLegends101 UrbanLegends101 is offline
 
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I was reading a Facebook page regarding the failures of Obamacare and one post was claiming that for 2018, their healthcare insurance was going to be about $4,000 per month and even with that coverage, their preferred doctors were not an in-network provider.

The poster also claimed that if they wanted insurance which would be something their preferred doctors would accept, the premium would be even higher.

I realize insurance costs do tend to vary, but $48K per year just seems to be radically out of line.

What kind of coverage would one be getting for insurance with this yearly cost and is such a plan truly available? I've got good coverage through my retirement, of which I pay about 25%, but when I consider my employer's share, I am still about half of this yearly figure.
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  #119  
Old 13 December 2017, 04:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Esprise Me View Post
I'm with Karyn; I'll respond if it's going to take a while, otherwise it's on the sender to set up read receipts or explicitly ask for confirmation if they need it. Your boss sounds unpleasant, Roadsterboy.
This is what got me about the whole thing - he's never mentioned this until my review. I still don't bother to tell him I've read his emails unless there's an issue I need to bring up about the content of said message, or as Karyn said if it's going to take a while to get to whatever his request is (or I already know I won't be able to do it). But just to tell him "Yep! Okay!" every time seems a bit much. It feels like he thought of it solely to have something negative to put in my review, which again, is in character for this guy.

And yes, he's unpleasant in a number of ways.
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  #120  
Old 13 December 2017, 11:41 AM
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I have started sending an acknowledgement to emails that mean something (such as asking me to do something, instead of all those ones that are useless.) That is because our email system is BAD, and often loses emails. This way my boss or coworker knows I got the email, since sometimes it gets lost.
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