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  #621  
Old 14 February 2019, 11:42 AM
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kitap kitap is offline
 
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Location: Tucson, AZ
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Whalephant

Dear Immy,

How do you breathe when your face is in the blanket on the sofa?

To clarify she's kittyloafing and her head is bent down to where her face is buried in the blanket.

your baffled human
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  #622  
Old 14 February 2019, 12:49 PM
dfresh dfresh is offline
 
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Location: Oxford, PA
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Dear Fritz,
I like snuggling with you while I sleep, but your recent idea of just jumping up by me and snuggling up about 3 minutes before my alarm goes off is not helpful. It just means you get pushed out of bed, and get cranky about it.
love
The warm one you snuggle by (briefly)
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  #623  
Old 19 February 2019, 01:31 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
Join Date: 11 March 2003
Location: Montgomery County, MD
Posts: 17,022
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Dear Gobi, Katydid and Steely Dan: Aren't cats supposed to be neat and clean when they eat? You three sure as hell are not. What's with the scattering of kibble everywhere, and why can't you take a page out of Andi's book? She's a very clean eater and not given to scooping food out of the bowl with her paw.

Confused employee.
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  #624  
Old 21 February 2019, 02:16 AM
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Mouse Mouse is offline
 
Join Date: 10 July 2003
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 7,591
Mouse

Dear Roxy-kitty,

I hope all my doubts are wrong and you really enjoy chasing the laser pointer. Forgive me, I hear conflicting information about whether kitties actually enjoy playing with laser pointers or not. I hope they do.

Love,

Your Guilt-Stricken Thumbbeast
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  #625  
Old 28 February 2019, 06:03 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
Join Date: 11 March 2003
Location: Montgomery County, MD
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Dear Gobi--
I don't like mornings either, but at least I don't scratch and hiss at anyone who gets near me! Excuse for getting something out of my jewelry box!
Keep this NFBSK up and I'll be hauling you into the vet for some bloodwork!

Irked employee
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  #626  
Old 28 February 2019, 06:32 PM
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Seaboe Muffinchucker Seaboe Muffinchucker is offline
 
Join Date: 30 June 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 19,046
Glasses

Dear Ferdinand,
Bless your sweet, stubborn head. You need to stop tipping over the living room garbage can so that you can get the lid to come off. Next time, I might just stuff you inside it and let you stew for a while.

On the other hand, it was pretty funny that you got yourself stuck behind the loveseat while trying to avoid your just punishment.

Seaboe
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  #627  
Old 01 March 2019, 04:11 PM
dfresh dfresh is offline
 
Join Date: 11 November 2005
Location: Oxford, PA
Posts: 4,452
Bonsai Kitten

One of our cats, long ago, learned to open the cupboard where the dry cat food was kept, pull over the bag, and go in to get herself a treat. My wife once saw her doing that and pulled the bag upright, causing the cat to fall into the bag, where she got stuck. We left her in there for a few minutes before helping her out.

After that, the cat never bothered the cat food bag again.
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  #628  
Old 04 March 2019, 11:57 AM
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kitap kitap is offline
 
Join Date: 20 January 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 9,934
Whalephant

Dear Immy,

I was sleeping. There was no reason for you to put on your anxious face and try to wake me up by poking my cheek with your nose. Also, your whiskers made me dream I was being attacked with a nylon brush. Just calm down.

sincerely,
Your tired human
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  #629  
Old 05 March 2019, 02:40 AM
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Esprise Me Esprise Me is offline
 
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Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Dear Scout,
Congrats on losing four pounds without actually eating any less! Now tell me how you did it!
Love,
Your perplexed seat-warmer.
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  #630  
Old 07 March 2019, 03:50 AM
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Mouse Mouse is offline
 
Join Date: 10 July 2003
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 7,591
Mouse

Dear Boomer-dog,

The vet couldn’t give us an exact number on how much longer we’ll have you. He said it could be six months or six years. In any case, you are 13/14 years old, so we know you’re no spring chicken.

We’ll enjoy you for however much longer we’ll have you. Remember you did pick a good house to hang around. You may have been dumb enough to be trapped by a fence with only three sides, but I firmly believe you recognized a house full of soft touches when you saw one. Animals seem to have a sixth sense for that kind of thing.

In any case, we’ll take care of you and let you enjoy however much time you have left. If you get to hurting, we’ll take you to the Vet. We’re just kind of in agreement that further treatment wouldn’t do you much good. You’d have to be on cage-rest, which would make you miserable, which would make everyone else miserable. There’s no need to put you through all of that.

Love,

Your Friendbeast

“Dear” Heartworms,

If you had a collective dick, I would personally punch you in it.

No Love,

Me
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  #631  
Old 07 March 2019, 12:34 PM
dfresh dfresh is offline
 
Join Date: 11 November 2005
Location: Oxford, PA
Posts: 4,452
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I'm sorry, Mouse. I hope you two have a lot of good times until then.

Dear Fritz,
I can't spend the day in the basement with you. I know you love when we get to go be big brave guys in the basement together, but I have to do other things besides rub your belly in the basement and watch while you check out the dark corners and sniff things. Please stop yowling at me and attacking my legs when I try to leave. You can keep us all safe on your own down there.
Your person
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  #632  
Old 07 March 2019, 01:54 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
Join Date: 11 March 2003
Location: Montgomery County, MD
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Dear Boomer-dog and Mouse: hugs from MD.
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  #633  
Old 07 March 2019, 03:19 PM
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thorny locust thorny locust is offline
 
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Location: Upstate NY
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Seconding long-distance hugs, Mouse and Boomer-dog.

And Mouse, sounds to me like you've got it right. There's a time to switch to palliative care, and you seem to be right up on that.
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  #634  
Old 07 March 2019, 07:24 PM
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smittykins smittykins is offline
 
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Location: Seneca Falls, NY
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Hugs to Mouse and scritches for Boomer,
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  #635  
Old 19 March 2019, 03:55 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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Location: Folsom, CA
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Dear Nelson-kitty,

Instead of sleeping on my bed last night like you had been doing most nights, you went off and did your own thing and I found you sleeping on the couch when I got up this morning. Did we have a fight that I'm not aware of?
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  #636  
Old 19 March 2019, 04:20 PM
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thorny locust thorny locust is offline
 
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Location: Upstate NY
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Dear Nelson,

Good job puzzling your human! Our human has never managed to figure out why each of the three of us will sleep on her bed consistently for weeks and weeks, then refuse to do so for weeks and weeks, then start doing it again. We make sure that we don't do this in the same pattern as each other, so she can't put it down to the weather, or anything generally disturbing to cats in the bedroom.
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  #637  
Old 19 March 2019, 04:47 PM
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NobleHunter NobleHunter is offline
 
Join Date: 21 September 2005
Location: Peterborough, Ontario
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Dear Daichi,

I love your face. It is truly one of the best dog faces. I love giving your face pets and scritches. But putting your face in my face when I'm trying to put shoes on is counter-productive. So is knocking my hand off the mouse when I'm trying not to die. Please refrain from imposing your face at inconvenient times.

NH
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