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  #601  
Old 12 February 2019, 03:47 PM
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I tried to make pumpernickel bread today.

One LTTAM was that every recipe I found online was so vastly different, and I've never made bread before, so I tried to find the simplest one but wasn't sure if it would turn out how I wanted.

the main lttam-
Today I doubled the recipe because I wanted to make two small loaves instead of one. I guess I misconverted the flour ratio, and having not made bread before didn't realize the problem until the breads had already been baking. They were dense, like a brownie consistency, looked like they were made of playdoh, and tasted like dirt, like actual soil. I tried re-baking them but while I did that, I googled what might have gone wrong and decided if the problem was with the flour and the denseness to begin with, and since they tasted and smelled so yucky (which are unbelievable adjectives to use to describe bread :P ), it was better to just throw them out. They thumped into the garbage can like footballs.

I had made some butter to go along with the bread, and had to dig some bread out of the freezer so the butter wouldn't go to waste... the freezer bread has been in there so many months it had hardly any flavor at all. It's been unsatisfactory so far this morning
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  #602  
Old 12 February 2019, 05:09 PM
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mbravo, the proper ratio of flour to liquid is affected by the exact flour used (different batches of even the same general type, say different batches of whole wheat, may vary somewhat) and even by the humidity on the day that you're baking. You need to develop a feel for the right texture, and add flour while kneading the bread until you get there.

Basically, the kneaded bread, once you're done, should not be significantly sticky (needs more flour), but should be kind of bouncy, not bricklike (too much flour).

-- was your yeast alive? that could also have been the problem, presuming that it's a yeast bread. The yeast could be no good to start with; or mixing it into overly hot liquid might have killed it. In either case, the bread won't rise, and will wind up overly dense.

I've got nothing on the flavor problem; except that possibly some ingredient had gone rancid. Whole grain flours can go rancid, and so can oils. Did everything you put into the bread smell good when you added it?
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  #603  
Old 12 February 2019, 07:23 PM
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I think it was all about the yeast. It either wasn't alive or died off in the leavening process. This would account for both the texture and the lack of flavor.
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  #604  
Old 12 February 2019, 07:24 PM
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The dough definitely wasn't sticky when I was "done" kneading, honestly it felt like playdoh and broke apart the same way, it wasn't stretchy the way I think it was supposed to be. I think it was more along the "bricklike" feel you describe. I used buckwheat flour instead of rye flour as I couldn't find the latter in the store, along with some whole wheat flour as the recipe called for. I think it wasn't moist enough, as when it was purportedly rising, the outside got pretty hard and dried out so it couldn't expand.

It was a yeast bread, and the recipe I followed didn't mention proving the yeast, so I just mixed it into the warm water and then momentarily started adding other ingredients :/

Yeah the taste was odd, the ingredients I had were all new, and I didn't notice any off smells. Maybe the buckwheat flavor threw things off, I'm not really sure, but it definitely didn't taste, feel, or smell like bread. While it was in the oven, there was like a minute of "Oh! Bread is in the oven!" smell, then it went away
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  #605  
Old 12 February 2019, 09:57 PM
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LTTAM - when websites I like end up using "Democrat" as an adjective:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snopes.com
It was made up in an apparent attempt to stir up controversy and smear Democrat politicians.
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  #606  
Old 12 February 2019, 10:06 PM
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I'm annoyed by most motion sensor faucets which don't seem to recognize my motions.
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  #607  
Old 13 February 2019, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbravo View Post
The dough definitely wasn't sticky when I was "done" kneading, honestly it felt like playdoh and broke apart the same way, it wasn't stretchy the way I think it was supposed to be. I think it was more along the "bricklike" feel you describe. I used buckwheat flour instead of rye flour as I couldn't find the latter in the store, along with some whole wheat flour as the recipe called for. I think it wasn't moist enough, as when it was purportedly rising, the outside got pretty hard and dried out so it couldn't expand.
Something was definitely wrong by the time you got through the kneading process, and probably before you started it. As you say, it's supposed to be stretchy. It certainly shouldn't feel or break up like playdoh.

Rye does have some gluten. Buckwheat I don't think has any. So maybe that was the problem; maybe there's enough wheat flour in the recipe to make up for the lower gluten in rye, but not enough to make up for the lack of any in buckwheat. It's the gluten that provides the stretchiness. -- some wheat flours have more gluten than others, also. Hard winter wheat has more than soft summer wheat, and flour as you buy it in the store can vary. You could try a specifically high-gluten bread flour.

If the yeast is good, the proving step shouldn't be necessary; but it's also possible that the yeast wasn't good.

None of that should have made it taste terrible, though. Terrible texture, yes. But I'm at a loss about the flavor; unless possibly you personally just can't stand buckwheat. Do you like, say, buckwheat pancakes?

ETA: Beachlife!, I sometimes feel like a bad magician in a story. Make the handwaving motions and the water will magically appear! But you have to make just the right motion, or it won't work! -- and there's no way to tell what the right motion is. I suppose maybe people who use the same such fixture routinely eventually figure out what works on that one.
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  #608  
Old 13 February 2019, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
I'm annoyed by most motion sensor faucets which don't seem to recognize my motions.
There is one at work where the sensor is aimed so that when you activate the sensor, the water is flowing and nothing is getting wet. You can only use it one hand at a time. Very poorly built (I don't think it was designed that way as the others in the same washroom are fine).

I feel your dirty hands pain.
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  #609  
Old 13 February 2019, 06:19 PM
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Maybe those faucets are setup to work like the motion controlled radio in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
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  #610  
Old 13 February 2019, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Credence View Post
LTTAM - when websites I like end up using "Democrat" as an adjective:
Describing somebody as a [noun] [noun] rather than an [adjective] [noun] can be grammatically accurate, though, is that not correct? So for instance you can have pirate ninjas rather than piratical ones. Or party animals rather than partying ones. Singer songwriters rather than singing songwriters. Entrepreneur businesswomen. Er... librarian warriors? Investigator magicians? Brexiteer baboons?

In the case of Democrat politician, it does sound wrong though. Is it just that the use of Democrat in place of Democratic is often used as a pejorative or is there also some weird nuance of grammar at play?
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  #611  
Old 14 February 2019, 12:36 AM
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thorny locust- thank you for the input re: gluten. I'm looking forward to trying again with a different kind of flour (though not any time soon- still reeling from this mishap)


I don't recall having eaten buckwheat before, so I can't really say whether that was the reason. I will say that I am often hypersensitive to my own cooking- I'll make something and everyone else says it tastes fine or even tasty, but I won't be able to stomach more than a few bites- almost like I'm too aware of the effort that went into making it and how I had intended for it to taste, so I get a psychosomatic taste reaction to the meal, which may have happened in this instance.
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  #612  
Old 14 February 2019, 01:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blatherskite View Post
In the case of Democrat politician, it does sound wrong though. Is it just that the use of Democrat in place of Democratic is often used as a pejorative or is there also some weird nuance of grammar at play?
Well, the party's name is The Democratic Party, not the Democrat party. "Democrat" has always been widely used in contexts like "I am a Democrat" or "she is a Democrat," because it's a direct object, and objects (like subjects) are nouns. Using "Democrat" as an adjective to modify another noun ("Democrat party" or "Democrat politician") is a relatively recent thing, I believe, as in, with in the last 20 years, I'd guess. And IME it's common only among opponents of the Democratic Party. Infer what you will from the two previous sentences.
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  #613  
Old 14 February 2019, 06:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UEL View Post
There is one at work where the sensor is aimed so that when you activate the sensor, the water is flowing and nothing is getting wet. You can only use it one hand at a time. Very poorly built (I don't think it was designed that way as the others in the same washroom are fine).
There's one at my work which I think works on a temperature sensor, rather than a motion sensor. But either way, once it starts flowing, the sensor is close enough to the stream of water that the water itself (I think the warmth from it) often activates the sensor and means it doesn't stop...

Rather than just leaving it I worked out that if you got a paper towel and wiped the sensor, it was enough to break the feedback loop. Possibly what happens is that a drop of warm water ends up splashing on to the temperature sensor, and removing it switches it off. I suppose if left (as I did the first few times it happened, assuming it would stop eventually, since there's no other way to turn it off) then it would switch off once that drop had cooled down enough. I've not really tested these ideas though.
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  #614  
Old 14 February 2019, 01:46 PM
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My sister is VERY hard to shop for, but loves pastries. Her birthday is next week, so my wife reached out to a great bakery near my sister's place, that my sister likes, and arranged for my sister to basically have an account there for a couple of weeks, so whenever she goes by she can get something at our expense. DW was going to tell my sister next week, on her birthday. My sister has now started talking about how she has given up all baked goods as part of a new diet she is on.

Back to the drawing board.
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  #615  
Old 14 February 2019, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeybeard View Post
Maybe those faucets are setup to work like the motion controlled radio in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
At the clinic where I have PT and OT, the toilets flush twice: once when I stand up, and once when I leave the stall.
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  #616  
Old 14 February 2019, 11:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
I'm annoyed by most motion sensor faucets which don't seem to recognize my motions.
Where I used to work there were motion sensors on the lights in the conference rooms to turn off the lights if the room was unoccupied. Except if you were just sitting there talking and not moving around much it would turn off the lights on you, and you'd have to stand up and wave your arms around to make them come back on.
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  #617  
Old 15 February 2019, 02:32 AM
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Originally Posted by smittykins View Post
At the clinic where I have PT and OT, the toilets flush twice: once when I stand up, and once when I leave the stall.
The last building I worked at had toilets that were particularly "excitable". They would flush at the mere hint of movement.

I took to keeping a piece of black electrician's tape in my wallet. When I entered the stall, I'd put it over the sensor lens, keeping it quiet. I'd remove it when I left, which also served to flush the stool.

Worked pretty well.
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  #618  
Old 15 February 2019, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by WildaBeast View Post
Except if you were just sitting there talking and not moving around much it would turn off the lights on you.
My office at our old location was like that. Even better, the angle to the motion detector meant I had to stand up for it to see me. Luckily, people tended to go through the door regularly enough that the light generally stayed on (my office was also the library and the room where we kept the shredder).

Seaboe
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  #619  
Old 15 February 2019, 02:31 PM
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At my last workplace, if I were the first to use the women's restroom in the morning, it sometimes took some arm-waving to activate the lights. Once or twice, that didn't work and I just went down a floor, where more people came in early.
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  #620  
Old 15 February 2019, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
Well, the party's name is The Democratic Party, not the Democrat party. "Democrat" has always been widely used in contexts like "I am a Democrat" or "she is a Democrat," because it's a direct object, and objects (like subjects) are nouns. Using "Democrat" as an adjective to modify another noun ("Democrat party" or "Democrat politician") is a relatively recent thing, I believe, as in, with in the last 20 years, I'd guess. And IME it's common only among opponents of the Democratic Party. Infer what you will from the two previous sentences.
I think it goes back further than 20 years. If I remember correctly, Edwin Newman mentioned this in one of his books about the English language in the 1970s. Republicans and other opponents of the Democratic party use "Democrat" as an adjective to avoid having connect Democrats with being democratic (in the general, rather than party-specific, sense of the word). Referring to the Democratic party would imply that members of other parties are not democratic.
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