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  #21  
Old 21 May 2018, 11:00 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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IANAT, but I don't believe that condemnation of your past or current self is conducive to a good mental attitude.
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  #22  
Old 22 May 2018, 06:08 AM
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Esprise Me Esprise Me is offline
 
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Plurabelle, I'm so glad you're able to be honest with your mother and stepfather and, more importantly, yourself. I know it isn't an easy thing to say out loud that you're being abused and need help.

Before you say anything about divorce to your husband, I urge you to find some professional guidance in extricating yourself. I found this place by Googling; there might be other options: https://www.safehousecenter.org

You are in more danger once you decide to leave. You may need a restraining order; you may need to go to a DV shelter where he can't find you. For now, while you're recuperating, you probably want to at least keep a low profile. Does he have your passwords? Does he know you frequent this board? What about your bank accounts and credit cards; is there any way for you to pay for what you need without him being able to track you and interfere? What about your phone bill; can you make calls without him knowing? Does he have access to devices that are logged on to your Google account that will reveal your recent searches to him? You may need to think about covering your tracks while you're planning your exit. Again, that's where the pros come in.
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  #23  
Old 22 May 2018, 06:16 PM
Ryda Wong, EBfCo. Ryda Wong, EBfCo. is offline
 
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Thank you for updating us. I had been checking back to see if there was any new news. I am so glad that you are getting the support you need and that you are taking steps to get out of this horrible situation that is in no way your fault. Love and strength to you.
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  #24  
Old 23 May 2018, 12:02 PM
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Avril Avril is offline
 
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I'm not on here often but I want to say that A) I support you and B) although I have no degree in psychology, I too believe what is important when you feel you've made a mistake is to correct it and forgive your past self, not to continue to be horrified by what you've done and let that dictate how you view yourself.

Trauma does things to the brain that can explain why as well, and I hope your therapist will help you understand yourself as you break free.
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  #25  
Old 23 May 2018, 03:30 PM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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You guys are really amazing, and I thank each and every one of you.
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  #26  
Old 24 May 2018, 04:00 AM
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MichiganGirl MichiganGirl is offline
 
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We are here for you for whatever you need. I know it's hard. Just take it one day at a time. Are you back in Ann Arbor?

Hugs!

MG
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  #27  
Old 28 May 2018, 04:22 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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Close to. I have some medical things going on that my parents are seeing me through. Nothing serious, just annoying.

My boss (only, and I trust her) knows my return abroad will happen maybe in a couple of months and maybe not ever. She's okay with either. Queen of a lady.
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  #28  
Old 28 May 2018, 05:33 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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Oh god, now I just want to vent, loud and ugly and incoherent. Right now I'm on prednisone, Norco, Levothyroxine and Tylenol (plus a few vitamins). But my leg hurts, my body itches, and I want to explode.

When I get better I'm going to start a hotline for 1-800-BITCHING. If legit, we might cite help; if not, just listen. Equally valuable.
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  #29  
Old 28 May 2018, 07:36 PM
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You can vent here! We'll even let you use all caps. Just this once.
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  #30  
Old 26 June 2018, 01:45 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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Oh man...

I hate, and love my new surgeon. He did a good job but won't have me anything more than Aleve, including in the hospital, because I have an addictive history. I am struggling. Most days it's a struggle to answer 3-4 bills or open a couple of emails. I can usually do one thing a day; today I opened mail and cleaned the kitchen.

I have an entirely new fibia. I'm too tired to even curse.
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  #31  
Old 26 June 2018, 01:51 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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But that's probably not what you care about...I can't stay with my mother anymore but my house is safe for now. I'm gradually re-evening the water at my mom, but it's going to take a while. I waved between whether I want to be attacked there mentally 5x daily or here at once most daily. But my puppies and I are the only people in the house right now. And I can have my puppies there, and not here. She offered to give me $500 if I gave them all to the pound. Dont know what to do but not giving them up ever ever ever.

I feel like even though I'm not on narcotics, I'm starting to lose perspective on things, feeling a little weaker and less sure. I ate a couple of things today, but I'm not hungry. I've been sipping V8 cos I figure that's what my body needs.
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  #32  
Old 26 June 2018, 01:59 AM
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Esprise Me Esprise Me is offline
 
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Plurabelle, do you have a restraining order? I'm not quite sure how to parse "my house is safe for now" and the mention of being physically attacked at home daily. If the dogs are the reason you can't go somewhere safe, is temporarily boarding them an option?
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  #33  
Old 26 June 2018, 02:13 AM
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Your local animal shelter might know of places you could board your dogs.
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  #34  
Old 26 June 2018, 02:33 AM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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The dogs are safe in my current house can't find a place in the current rescue. Too big, bad history etc but the youngest has been ours for 5 years well trained.

Mainly I'd never give one up. .
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  #35  
Old 26 June 2018, 12:37 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plurabelle View Post
Hi all,

I have told them whats really going on and have unconditional support.
Great! Take care of yourself and do whatever it takes to be safe.
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  #36  
Old 27 July 2018, 04:17 PM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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Guys,

I am doing well. I thank you so much for all of your support. It gets me through the day.

I never pictured myself in this situation, but I am now 100% safe at home and at my mother's when I need a break. The criminal justice system has dealt with the issue sufficiently, and effectively. Further, I am protected when I travel abroad for work. I feel really, really safe, for one of the first times in my life.
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  #37  
Old 27 July 2018, 04:51 PM
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Die Capacitrix Die Capacitrix is offline
 
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Really glad to hear there has been a successful resolution.
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  #38  
Old 27 July 2018, 05:18 PM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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And...crap. He is home again. I can call the police as he has no right to be here but is threatening to inflict some damage beforehand. I texted the police to come so he doesn't I called.

Why is he here??
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  #39  
Old 27 July 2018, 05:22 PM
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Plurabelle Plurabelle is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plurabelle View Post
And...crap. He is home again. I can call the police as he has no right to be here but is threatening to inflict some damage beforehand. I texted the police to come so he doesn't I called.

Why is he here??
He is out on bail, and threatening to run - the second I called the police he got dressed up in his running from the cops clothes. His RO will send him right back to prison if he is found here so i'm not sure what to do - let him lay low and get caught in his own web of lies.
I think he needs to be found here and forfeit his bail.
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  #40  
Old 27 July 2018, 05:30 PM
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ChasFink ChasFink is offline
 
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I am reluctant to post this while this is actually unfolding, since I don't want him to see you reading it, but do you have any evidence of his presence? Security video, etc.? This alone should be sufficient to get him locked up. It at least should convince the cops to keep an active lookout for him around your home.
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