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  #481  
Old 20 August 2016, 10:05 AM
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Warning: long pessimistic rant. I had already given up on being promoted to the next level in my job, and now I have been turned down for a lesser promotion to the same position I now hold, but in a bigger office. So it would have been more money and closer to home. It would have saved me. Now I am trapped in a job where I am commuting an hour each way every day, the yearly raises are balanced out by yearly increases in my bills, so I am never going to get enough money to fix my house to sell it and move closer, and even if I could, I am struggling and very unhappy with my boss's management style and really wanted to have a different boss. I am working harder and feeling no job satisfaction compared to feeling quite satisfied and hopeful year ago under my previous boss, and I am too old to start over. The last year has been a disaster, with death and cancer all around me, so it is self indulgent for me to feel so depressed and hopeless, but I do feel that way regardless. It could be worse, but it is almost certainly never going to be better, so I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing anybody can really do to help, but I have nobody I can talk to about this so it helps some just to get it out there
  #482  
Old 20 August 2016, 02:42 PM
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I'm sorry, Wanderwoman. I've been through some similar issues.
  #483  
Old 20 August 2016, 02:44 PM
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Thanks, Lainie. I'm sorry you're going through that as well. It really sucks.
  #484  
Old 20 August 2016, 02:45 PM
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Things are starting to look up for me, thanks.
  #485  
Old 21 August 2016, 07:18 PM
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My older brother is just over 9 years older than me, and was often stuck babysitting me as we were growing up. Along the way I listened to a lot of music that a little kid probably shouldn't have been singing along with (even if I had no idea what the lyrics were about) including some of the loudest, rowdiest bands of the 80s and 90s. When I heard that Guns N' Roses were going to be touring again with most of the original lineup (with the surprise inclusion of the epicly talented Slash/Saul Hudson) I was smacked absolutely silly with nostalgia, and catching some of the videos from their recent concerts left me with an odd thought:

The members of the band are now in their late 40s or early 50s, and despite many of them staying in the music industry over the years, most of them have mostly of settled down along the way. Isn't this sort of the ultimate midlife crisis? At 18, they were playing in bands instead of getting a "real" job, and managed to hit it big. At 28 they were on top of the music world with their record-smashing, world-touring Use Your Illusions double album. At 48 they're back on stage, doing almost exactly what they were doing at 18, with fans both old and new flinging money at them. Of course, most of the band has also been notorious for their substance abuse problems, and one can only wonder if they've fallen back on those unfortunate habits in order to perform like they were half their age. Suddenly buying a sports car and contemplating an affair seems positively boring in the way of midlife crisis territory.

While I'm not a huge enough fan to cough up the exorbitant prices for a ticket and the money to make a road trip out to the nearest stadium they'll be playing, it's certainly interesting to see a piece of my childhood/teen years on stage again.
  #486  
Old 22 August 2016, 02:30 AM
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I'm sorry, wanderwoman. For whatever it's worth, I don't think you're being self-indulgent. Our jobs take up so much of our time, it's nearly impossible to be miserable at work and not miserable, period. Add financial stress on top of that and, perhaps worst of all, the sense that things are not going to get better, and you get a situation where it doesn't matter that other people may have bigger problems; yours are big enough to justify all the moping you want to do. I hope something changes for you soon.
  #487  
Old 22 August 2016, 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Gutter Monkey View Post
Nawww, they don't sell Ecto Cooler anywhere in Australia.
Update: I had a little extra cash so I just ordered three cases of Ecto Cooler with priority international shipping.


I can guarantee that none of the kids who turn up to my house on Halloween will have any idea what it is but dammit, they're getting Ecto Coolers anyway.
  #488  
Old 22 August 2016, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderwoman View Post
The last year has been a disaster, with death and cancer all around me, so it is self indulgent for me to feel so depressed and hopeless, but I do feel that way regardless. (
I think that's more part of the reason why you feel depressed and hopeless, rather than a reason why you shouldn't. If you're not the one with the illness, or even in the inner circle of those closest to the person, that doesn't mean you're not affected by it at all; only that you shouldn't moan to those further in about it -- and you're not; you're coming here instead.

Is there any hope that your boss will change again? Maybe others are also unhappy with the management style, or the current boss will feel like going elsewhere for reasons of their own.

I'm sorry you're going through all that.
  #489  
Old 23 August 2016, 09:09 AM
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Thanks, Esprise Me and thorny locust. I am doing a little better, mainly because there's no upside to remaining in a funk. I have to adjust my expectations, and that's difficult because hope for something better is usually what I have used to move myself forward, and I don't really feel that right now. On the other hand, if something better should happen to fall on my head by accident, I need to be in a position to accept it!

I suppose there's a possibility my boss will change, she is one of the people around me experiencing tragedy at the moment, so I don't now what will happen once she has passed through that (once again, I feel kind of icky about speculating on what she will do when her world is falling apart. I may not like being supervised by her, but I don't wish her ill). Plus, there's an election coming up, and since our governor is chasing the doomed Trump presidency, we will have a change of regime, which could cause dominoes to fall quickly. Meanwhile, I am trying to come up with a plan B. Ever onward!
  #490  
Old 23 August 2016, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by wanderwoman View Post
it is self indulgent for me to feel so depressed and hopeless,
No. It is not self-indulgent for you to feel bad. Self-indulgent is going to a spa. It's buying a new wardrobe. It's taking a long weekend off to do nothing. Depression never equals self-indulgence.

I'm sorry things are so bad, and hope you feel better soon.

Seaboe
  #491  
Old 23 August 2016, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker View Post
Self-indulgent is going to a spa. It's buying a new wardrobe. It's taking a long weekend off to do nothing.

And doing any of those things, once in a while, can be a good thing.
  #492  
Old 23 August 2016, 04:06 PM
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Oh, definitely. I have nothing against self-indulgence. I just have a thing about people thinking it's self-indulgent to not feel perky and pleasant all the time.

Seaboe
  #493  
Old 23 August 2016, 08:50 PM
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Thanks, Seaboe. I'm trying to do some healthier things, as I fell back onto some really unhealthy behavior because of the stress and being on the road all the time. I think it's helping a little.

I wish my go-to in times of stress was healthy behavior. I'm pretty sure I would be doing a lot better if it was!
  #494  
Old 24 August 2016, 12:35 AM
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WW, I can commiserate with that. The stress of my summer schedule threw me off of my healthy eating/exercising habits I was trying to cling to. Here's hoping for better times for the both of us in that regard.
  #495  
Old 24 August 2016, 02:22 PM
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I think if our go-tos in times of stress were healthy, we wouldn't be stressed.

Or as stressed, anyway.

Ferdinand's owie is almost healed, but his fur still looks awful (he hasn't had a bath for a few weeks). He only tried to scratch it once last night, and that was a half-hearted attempt. He's scratching his chin a lot more than his neck.

He's developed a behavior I find very odd. He sits on the bed with me in the evening (I've been working overtime and have been doing it in the basement, where it's cooler), and he's very good about me picking him up to put him on the bed (which is too high for him to climb up on his own). However, when it's time to actually go to bed, he growls at me if I try to pick him up. Last night, I refused to pick him up. He stood and stared at me from the side of the bed, then went to the foot and sat on the carpet scrap and stared at me, then came back to the side of the bed. I talked to him and petted him, then tried to pick him up. He complained but didn't growl. I'm hoping he'll figure out that he can't come up on the bed if he growls.

Seaboe
  #496  
Old 24 August 2016, 09:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker View Post
I think if our go-tos in times of stress were healthy, we wouldn't be stressed.

Or as stressed, anyway.
I was trying to go along those lines with a comment and kept disproving it. Lots of people handle stress by long walks or other exercise, sex (I always presume with a willing partner, particularly when I am discussing healthy outlets for stress), working on their hobbies, meditation, an amusement like a show or a game, and a bunch of other diversions. Lucky them, who have found healthy go-tos for stress.
  #497  
Old 24 August 2016, 10:52 PM
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The moving fairies have struck again. Every time I move to a new place, I either lose something or find something that I wrote off as lost-for-good several years ago. This time, a rare vintage poster that I feared had been accidentally thrown away several years ago suddenly turned up in the stacked of framed art in my storage unit. The storage unit that only I loaded and only I have access to.

This will be my ninth move in 14 years, and I'm the only one who packs and unpacks my things. I do this to minimize breakage and loss and so that I know where everything is. But the moving fairies always strike, and steal things only to make them reappear in plain sight years later. Usually they steal my clothes, like the shirt I literally hadn't seen in two years that suddenly was on top of the stack in my dresser drawer 6 months after moving into the new apartment even though I live alone. Other items have been pants, a jacket, jewelry, and now the poster. They always appear months later in plain sight in a place that I have looked at or used on a regular basis.

I prefer to think of them as moving fairies rather than the possibility that I have been gaslighted by unknown entities for the past decade and a half.
  #498  
Old 25 August 2016, 02:15 PM
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Can you loan that fairy to me, so that my sunglasses will turn up?

I went back out to the restaurant last night and searched the parking lot. I intend to call the restaurant again, too (I had the dog with me, so couldn't go in) as well as the Fred Meyer's that shares the lot. I'm really bummed about losing them--I haven't even had them for a year, yet!

My biggest fear (strange as it may seem) is that one of my friends picked them up and hasn't told me, either because they're not on social media much or because they thought/think they'll see me soon and will just give them back. I can't imagine any of them would have picked them up and then ignored my pleas to let me know, so I'm not sure why I'm worried about this.

Seaboe
  #499  
Old 25 August 2016, 02:45 PM
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Seaboe- that stinks, especially since you didn't get to have them for very long When I was a senior in high school I got a new pair of glasses that had a really cute red frame and felt so pretty in them. Well, later that fall, I was walking around my college campus while it was drizzling and decided that rather than let the glasses get all misty and unhelpful, I would take them off and put them in my pocket until I got inside. Predictably, when I arrived at my dorm I found they had fallen out somewhere on the way. Luckily I had a spare pair that I could use, but we never found the glasses when some friends and I tried to retrace my steps. It's strange to me because I'm fairly certain they must have fallen on the sidewalk, but no one ever picked them up to turn them in or anything like that. Maybe they fell down a sewer.
  #500  
Old 25 August 2016, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by mbravo View Post
Seaboe- that stinks, especially since you didn't get to have them for very long When I was a senior in high school I got a new pair of glasses that had a really cute red frame and felt so pretty in them.
Have you ever gotten a good look at Sally Jessy Raphael's glasses? Just sayin'.
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