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  #1  
Old 07 November 2013, 02:59 PM
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Flame Why Good Girls Have Become Unicorns

The truth of the matter nowadays is that good girls, as we like to call them, don’t really exist. They are unicorns. You are lucky if you come across one that is actually who she says she is. We sometimes even joke that our future wives are currently in Kindergarten because it is comforting to know that she is currently playing with blocks and not swinging from man to man because they sell her a good enough story. And when she’s 18, we’ll snap her right up and she’ll have no exposure to the world of dating.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlem...irls-unicorns/

Article is NSFW

I have no words to adequately express how this article disgusts me. Trying to leaves me spewing a bunch of curses. This is rape culture in black and white.
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  #2  
Old 07 November 2013, 03:01 PM
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Why is it NSFW? Pictures, or just words?
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  #3  
Old 07 November 2013, 03:08 PM
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Pictures. And extra characters
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  #4  
Old 07 November 2013, 03:16 PM
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If the unicorns of the board will permit, () I'm going to bypass the crap that is insulting to women to focus on the crap that is insulting towards men.

The kind of man talked about in this article shouldn't be dating 18 years olds because he has the maturity level of an emotionally stunted 12 year old boy. Men cheat because we need the thrill of the chase (so men have no consideration for their partner's feelings and don't crave the emotional bond of a stable relationship). Men want a virginal (or near to it) woman to marry (our egos are so fragile that we cannot stand to think that our woman might have other sexual partners to compare us to).

I hereby formally disassociate myself from the gender "man" that the author purports to be.
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  #5  
Old 07 November 2013, 03:55 PM
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Well, unicorns, both the sparkly one horned kind and the kind described in that article, are both mythical and don't actually exist.

But you do make a good point that this doesn't make men look like decent human beings. Which is another issue with rape culture, it's harmful to men for them to get free passes to act like emotionally stunted 12 yo's.
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  #6  
Old 07 November 2013, 04:05 PM
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I really like the response article posted at the bottom of this one
.

Why Good Girls Have Become Unicorns: A Response From A Unicorn
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  #7  
Old 07 November 2013, 04:14 PM
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Quote:
And when she’s 18, we’ll snap her right up and she’ll have no exposure to the world of dating.
Yes, because no teenage girls date. I think he only wrote 18, because he knew how pervy his real intention of snapping one up at 13 would sound.

If a teenager has a parent overprotective enough and controlling enough to actually completely prevent her from dating, the chances of this creepy dude getting a date at 18 are pretty damn low.
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  #8  
Old 07 November 2013, 04:36 PM
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I wanted to like the response, and I do like it on some level, but it is too soft and personally vulnerable IMO. The original article is so steeped in horrible and damaging standards that it really needs a strong no nonsense response, preferably from a self-proclaimed "slut" tearing apart that piece of junk.
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Old 07 November 2013, 04:44 PM
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There are a lot of problems with the response, not least of them that she says a man worthy of respect is the "real unicorn." How about we don't compare positive traits or things we value's existence in an entire sex to mythical creatures.
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  #10  
Old 07 November 2013, 04:52 PM
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And how she says that a woman that sleeps with a different man every night is damaged. And how good girls are that way because of trauma.

ETA:
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenfrog78 View Post
The original article is so steeped in horrible and damaging standards that it really needs a strong no nonsense response, preferably from a self-proclaimed "slut" tearing apart that piece of junk.
While I'm not sure anything would "get through" to the type that would write such an article, I think anyone in the "slut" category would have a tougher time of getting through it. The author has already said that such women are damaged, he would just say that the woman didn't know of her damage or was suppressing it. While the response would certainly get lots of "white knighting", at least there would be some who would listen to it.
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  #11  
Old 07 November 2013, 04:55 PM
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Or that anyone who waits for the right relationship is doing it because they're damaged.

-spanked. There's a joke there I'll avoid in this context.
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  #12  
Old 07 November 2013, 05:07 PM
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I took the whole "damaged" thing differently. Even though she speaks of her own personal traumas, I think she meant "damaged" in the way women have to navigate rape culture and a society that likes to split us into either virgins or whores. A lot of us come out of puberty and high school very unsure of how to behave or even knowing who we are and what we really want to be.

I liked that the response was from a self-described unicorn because she really wanted to drive the point home that the original author's "ideal woman" can major issues, too. Just because a woman hasn't had sex into her 20s doesn't mean she's pure as the driven snow and going to be malleable to the first man who takes a serious sexual interest in her.

What I really got out of the response article was an insistence that all women are human beings who have different scars and different ways of responding to any of the traumas we may have had in our lives. If the original author thinks that virginity means innocence, lack of emotional baggage, or purity, he's dead wrong.
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  #13  
Old 07 November 2013, 05:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
While I'm not sure anything would "get through" to the type that would write such an article, I think anyone in the "slut" category would have a tougher time of getting through it.
The type who wrote that does not respect ANY women. He's not going to give the word of a "good girl" telling him he's wrong any more time of day than he'd give a word of a "slut".

The strong no nonsense response would not be to try to get through to that neanderthal, it would be for everyone else.
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  #14  
Old 07 November 2013, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mags View Post
If a teenager has a parent overprotective enough and controlling enough to actually completely prevent her from dating, the chances of this creepy dude getting a date at 18 are pretty damn low.
He will doubtless have arranged the marriage with her parents five years earlier, negotiated a suitable dowry, and so on.
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  #15  
Old 07 November 2013, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenfrog78 View Post
The type who wrote that does not respect ANY women. He's not going to give the word of a "good girl" telling him he's wrong any more time of day than he'd give a word of a "slut".

The strong no nonsense response would not be to try to get through to that neanderthal, it would be for everyone else.
But the everyone else that needs addressing is going to have a mindset similar to that "man" (otherwise they wouldn't need addressing) so the successful reply would have to be one that would work with a less extreme version of that mindset.
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  #16  
Old 07 November 2013, 05:57 PM
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I think I'm reasonably glad I'm at work and don't want to click on the link.

Look, I admit I think that I find it irksome that there is a severe shortage of women in the world who are in love with and/or want to have sex with me, but I'm willing to at least consider the possibility that maybe this is due to something about me. I can understand the attraction of the alternative "all women are evil/stupid/sluts/prudes/bitches/etc" theory, but I suspect the evidence may actually point in the other direction.
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  #17  
Old 07 November 2013, 06:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
But the everyone else that needs addressing is going to have a mindset similar to that "man" (otherwise they wouldn't need addressing) so the successful reply would have to be one that would work with a less extreme version of that mindset.
What? I don't understand, you don't think that a strong reply by a "slut" would be of value to any of those I included in my "everyone else"? And a less extreme version of the mindset of the original author? Or a less extreme version of the response? What would that look like and why would it be more successful than a strong reply tearing it apart?
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  #18  
Old 07 November 2013, 06:37 PM
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I've yet to read an article on Elite Daily that didn't disgust me, though this is certainly the worst I've come across so far.

My initial reaction was similar to greenfrog's, but I've had the better part of a week now for that to soften into pity. I can't think of anything that would account for the male behavior and views described in the OP--sleeping with "easy" women at every opportunity and refusing to get attached or even see them as human beings while pining for a virgin--except fear. Crippling, excruciating fear.

It occurs to me that men and women are both judged harshly on superficial things, but the things that women are typically judged on--weight and other markers of physical beauty--are usually discernible at first glance, while the things men are judged on--penis size, sexual performance--are only discoverable to someone who sleeps with them. In a lot of ways, women have the worse deal; men can be out and about in the world doing anything but having sex without judgmental assholes driving by, wolf-whistling or oinking or doing any of the other obnoxious things obnoxious men do to women. But it creates a wrenching dilemma for insecure men: sexual gratification, as well as affirmation of their "value" in these highly-rated metrics, can only come by making themselves vulnerable to a woman who may judge them harshly, and who can spread those judgments with near-impunity. (A thin woman could easily quash rumors that she's fat just by existing in public; a man who has been alleged to be unable to get it up is even less likely to be given the opportunity to demonstrate otherwise.) As a result, a small subset of men are so terrified of intimacy they can only conceive of feeling safe with a woman who can't judge him because she doesn't know any better.

As much as it sucks to be a woman in a world filled with such insufferable jerks, I'd rather be me than them.
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  #19  
Old 07 November 2013, 06:39 PM
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IANG, but I think the point was this. If you want to try to convince people who have a less extreme version of the OP's mindset that the OP is stupid and harmful, then a response by a "good girl" would theoretically be better than a response by a "slut."

ETA: responding to greenfrog.
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  #20  
Old 07 November 2013, 06:40 PM
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"it's comforting to know she is currently playing with blocks"?! Ewwww.
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