God Bless the Parents Who Drugged Us!

[Ieuan ab Arthur]

Hi All:

A piece of "When I was your age, I used to walk 10 miles to school everyday in the snow uphill both ways" glurge for your delectation:

God Bless the Parents Who Drugged us!

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question,

"Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up? "

I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.

I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.

I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.

I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.

They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place

~Author unknown

Ta ra 'wan,

Ieuan "Should have been drugged before reading this" ab Arthur

Saying "drug" instead of "dragged" not only hangs my munchkin, but draws and quarters it as well. I could hardly read through this thing.

Mint "But at least there were no puppies or God" Crisps

My life is full of dung after all that drugging. I've dung-oing to all that crap.

this was just plain stupid. I echo what Mint Crisps said as well.

[Ramblin' Dave]

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word.

Ah yes, still my favorite scene in A Christmas Story. No doubt, whoever wrote this, everyone pretended not to know he got it from his father too. Same thing with my family, except that my mother was the foulmouthed one.

[Tarquin Farquart]

Originally Posted by Ieuan ab Arthur

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.

They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place

This glurge reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons where Marge says "The only thing I'm high on is love... love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need."

[incubus]

Originally Posted by Mint Crisps

Saying "drug" instead of "dragged" not only hangs my munchkin, but draws and quarters it as well.

Yes. God bless the parents who also teached us english good.

J (Me fail english? That's unpossible!)

[rockland6674]

I posted a shorter version on the old board several years ago.

This glurge is short, but its smug, righteous tone annoyed me more than any other glurge I've received to date.

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by incubus

Yes. God bless the parents who also teached us english good.

Hey! You confuse me try to.

[incubus]

Originally Posted by Canuckistan

Hey! You confuse me try to.

Also, Das war der Plan...

J (Ich bin ein Berliner)

[One-Fang]

Phewie! You mean it's not correct? That's one that really yanked my chain too (drug vs dragged), but when I dared challenge it somewhere I was shot down and told it was a legitimate alternative.

[Crackrzz]

My pastor seems to get a kick out of this, he has mentioned it a few times and it has been in the bulletin and the magazine, bits of it anyway.

[Artemis]

I thought it was going to be about Ritalin and anti-depressants and other drugs that "We got along just FINE without when I was your age...never mind little Tommy who couldn't concentrate or Johnny who hung himself out in the woodshed! And we LIKED it."

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by Crackrzz

My pastor seems to get a kick out of this

Your pastor gets a kick out of drugs?

[TrishDaDish]

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.

Sooo....the point of this is he was "drug" everywhere as a kid (as opposed to willingly doing chores or going to church, etc), and now he does the same thing to his kids as well as himself? He doesn't make his family or himself do things because they want to, only because they're made to, as it's a chore?

Wow. Must be magic living in that household.

Trish "I don't care if you're scared of Aunt Vida, you git yer butt in the car NOW!!!" DaDish

[PallasAthena]

What on earth was going on in the woodshed? Must've been terrible and messy if it couldn't take place in the house. Gotta love people who yearn for the days when child abuse was acceptable.

I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

What if you've witnessed your teacher and preacher murdering someone, and are asked if you saw anything? You've either got to lie or speak ill of them. Either way, that's a whuppin'.