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Old 24 November 2012, 08:10 AM
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Icon18 Thanksgiving Day - 2022

I got this one on Wednesday from one of my glurge and Right Wing forward sources. Since there isn't a bad science fiction forum I wasn't sure where to put this. So, please feel free to move it.

Quote:
Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband.
In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered.

Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington ..
Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad" example it sets for the rest of the world", Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting.
Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce, and mincemeat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey.

And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020, to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family.

Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."

Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists."

Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved.
Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living Constitution is extremely flexible", said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. " Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example," she added.

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford.
She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism, or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner", but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Control Statute of Smoking 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth." This time, they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement.

At least, he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential.

Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.
He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2012, when all the real nonsense began. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought. Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so.

Mark Twain once said: "Itís easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."
Brian
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  #2  
Old 24 November 2012, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."
Because, of course, this isn't anything like what private insurance companies do right now.
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  #3  
Old 24 November 2012, 11:07 AM
fitz1980 fitz1980 is offline
 
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Quote:
Mark Twain once said: "Itís easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."
Irony - a post filled with fear mongering nonsense ending with a quote about how easy it is to fool people.
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  #4  
Old 24 November 2012, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce, and mincemeat pie)
When did mincemeat pie become traditional Thanksgiving fare? My grandfather (lived in Ohio) liked mincemeat and would eat it straight from the jar, but mincemeat pie never made it to the menu.

And LED lights are better than fluorescent lights. The remainder of this glurge is a weak attempt at fear mongering.
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  #5  
Old 24 November 2012, 12:25 PM
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They really should have gone with the PETA angle for the turkey instead of anti-obesity, since turkey is generally pretty lean and healthy. Maybe it could have been a $5000 fine and a trip to the death panel if you were caught deep frying it.
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  #6  
Old 24 November 2012, 01:18 PM
fitz1980 fitz1980 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianB View Post
His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism, or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner"
Bird flu? What a timely reference, to a panic that happened in 2005. Guess they couldn't mention swine flu since while that panic happened more recently some prominent conservatives used it as a rallying cry against immigration when I handful of people died of it in Mexico.
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Old 24 November 2012, 01:28 PM
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queen of the caramels queen of the caramels is offline
 
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Winston and Julia...really trying to hammer home a totally false reading of that book.
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  #8  
Old 24 November 2012, 01:40 PM
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It's nice that they got back together, though.
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Old 24 November 2012, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2012, when all the real nonsense began. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought. Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so.
Wow, they really don't think that Republicans will ever take the Presidency again do they!
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Old 24 November 2012, 02:43 PM
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Quote:
Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.
Remember this next time a conservative tells you that an insignificant instance of government endorsing Christianity isn't a violation of the First Amendment because it "doesn't establish a national religion."
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  #11  
Old 24 November 2012, 02:54 PM
LizardWizard LizardWizard is offline
 
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Whenever I read something nutty like this, it makes me want to scream, "NO! NO! Not me! DO IT TO JULIA!"
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  #12  
Old 24 November 2012, 07:40 PM
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Quote:
Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.
So Ed couldn't plug in the car after arriving(assuming he had enough "juice" for the way up), or even stay overnight?

Quote:
He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford.
She whined for a week, but got over it.
And what are they going for here--the "you can't discipline your kids anymore" meme?
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  #13  
Old 24 November 2012, 10:12 PM
Bettie Page Turner Bettie Page Turner is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LizardWizard View Post
Whenever I read something nutty like this, it makes me want to scream, "NO! NO! Not me! DO IT TO JULIA!"
I always thought "Do It to Julia" would be a great name for a rock band.
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  #14  
Old 30 November 2012, 06:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smittykins View Post



And what are they going for here--the "you can't discipline your kids anymore" meme?
I think they were going for "teenagers paided full and rapt attention to their parent before that cursed texting came along. That is the real cause of the generation gap. It never existed before."
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  #15  
Old 30 November 2012, 06:50 AM
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As a send-up of a right wing scare-mongering story, I give it a 7 out of 10. As an actual righ wing scare-mongering story it's a big fail.

Seriously Americian Football as a bad example to the rest to the world? Have they seen any of the codes played in the rest of the world (it's not just soccer you know)
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Old 30 November 2012, 01:52 PM
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Roll eyes

Quote:
Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game......Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in.
What...?

In 10 years, electric cars will only have about a quarter of the range they do today?
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  #17  
Old 30 November 2012, 02:32 PM
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First they came for my thermostat
I didn't speak out
I like it cold

Then they came for my football
I didn't speak it out,
I don;t watch it anyways

Then they came for my turkey
I freaked out
because that Tofurkey is nasty!
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  #18  
Old 30 November 2012, 02:37 PM
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Wait a minute, wait a minute, CARS are out because of fossil fuels but there are still PLANES?

And when did the right-wingers start caring about civil liberties with regard to anti-terrorism measures again?
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Old 30 November 2012, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BringTheNoise View Post
Wait a minute, wait a minute, CARS are out because of fossil fuels but there are still PLANES?
Well, how else would the government routinely sodomize the public?
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  #20  
Old 30 November 2012, 02:40 PM
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At the malls, train stations and bus stations, of course!
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