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  #21  
Old 03 October 2012, 12:38 PM
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I was thinking about that joke when i read the thread title.

I was thinking also that god's accuracy isn't so great since there are many people that have commited horrific things that seem to have managed to avoid getting hit, while some blameless people take hit after hit from life.
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  #22  
Old 03 October 2012, 01:41 PM
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Every year, 15 million children die of starvation.
Last year, nearly 3 million people contracted AIDS.
An estimated 2 million children are forced to work in the sex trade.

Praise the Lord? You bet.








(all figures taken from UNICEF)
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  #23  
Old 03 October 2012, 02:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alarm View Post
I was thinking also that god's accuracy isn't so great since there are many people that have commited horrific things that seem to have managed to avoid getting hit, while some blameless people take hit after hit from life.
Now that you put it that way, it's not funny

*sobs in his coffee*
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  #24  
Old 03 October 2012, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alarm View Post
....
I was thinking also that god's accuracy isn't so great since there are many people that have commited horrific things that seem to have managed to avoid getting hit, while some blameless people take hit after hit from life.
That's not a very Republican way to think.
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  #25  
Old 03 October 2012, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia View Post
That's not a very Republican way to think.
Well, I'm Canadian. I have no use for Republicans or Democrats.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Jay View Post
Now that you put it that way, it's not funny

*sobs in his coffee*
Sorry, brah!
*poors another coffee*
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  #26  
Old 05 October 2012, 02:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by damian View Post
Every year, 15 million children die of starvation.
Last year, nearly 3 million people contracted AIDS.
An estimated 2 million children are forced to work in the sex trade.
That's not God. None of those numbers are divisible by 7. Those are Satan's numbers.

Clearly a cow getting up ass-first is sufficient proof of holiness, anyway.
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  #27  
Old 14 October 2012, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia View Post
That's not a very Republican way to think.

Perhaps, but that what happens in real life.
One other thing: how does the numerology work out with mammals' gestation periods?

Elephants: 24 months
Horse: 11 months
People: 9 months
Dogs: 16 weeks?
Cats: 12 weeks?
How about cattle, pigs and sheep?

Are any of those numbers divisible by 7?
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  #28  
Old 18 October 2012, 04:43 PM
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The orange actually is orange, and green beans really are green! You can't tell me that they just happened to accidentally evolve their coloration to match their names! God is truly wondrous!

Any two intersecting perpendicular straight lines creates a cross. Coincidence, or God?

You can't seriously expect me to believe that water just accidentally takes the shape of its container! Goddidit!

And magnets! How the NFBSK do they work?
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  #29  
Old 18 October 2012, 04:48 PM
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Yes, but Chewbacca is a Wookie from Kashyyyyk, that makes no sense.

And actually, the container has been preordained to be the shape that the water is going to take.

Last edited by GenYus234; 18 October 2012 at 04:53 PM. Reason: not enough y's
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  #30  
Old 18 October 2012, 07:35 PM
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Touchdown Jesus burned to ashes in minutes after it was struck by lightning. A friend who lives across the street from a church found several bricks on his lawn after a church turret was struck by lightning and more or less exploded. If it were a statue of Obama or a mosque, I have no doubt I would have heard a lot of crowing about god's perfect aim (like I heard about the tsunami being god's punishment).

As it was, I mostly kept how humorous I found it to myself. At least nobody was hurt by what I found funny...
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  #31  
Old 18 October 2012, 08:13 PM
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I thought that a lot of people thought that the destruction of Touchdown Jesus was dead-on accuracy on God's part.

Mostly people who lived nearby.
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  #32  
Old 18 October 2012, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Jay View Post
Once there was a man who was known far and wide for his ability to curse. Everyone in his community was sick of his cussing. "NFBSK this and NFBSK that".
Heard the same joke about a minister golfing with a parishioner except that it was the minister cursing every time he missed a shot and the parishioner doing the remonstration.
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  #33  
Old 24 October 2012, 07:54 PM
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Bobwhite Quail = 24 days
Chukar Partridge = 24 days
Ostrich = 42-48 days

OMG!! all divisible by 6 and there are three of them! That equals 666! Satan is in control!!!!@!!@@!Q!111!!!eleventyone

I am a Christian, but it amazes me how people see God in randomness.
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  #34  
Old 29 October 2012, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arts Myth View Post
The orange actually is orange, and green beans really are green! You can't tell me that they just happened to accidentally evolve their coloration to match their names! God is truly wondrous!
And when Red Delicious apples were created....well it's obvious that name was divinely inspired!
And Hurricane Sandy is hitting the beaches! Amazing!
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