Things you shouldn't have to tell your pet

[Lainie]

GenYus, my own cat mostly won't let me touch him unless I'm in bed and lying still.

[Gayle]

And rolling on his back and batting at you? That's supreme play. A cat won't roll on it's back for just anybody. Get a soda straw and let him bat at that instead of your hand.

Lizzy will snuggle up practically under my butt all night, but then act like I'm going to stomp her when I get up in the morning. it's just a cat thing.

[JoeBentley]

Bailey

Could you please use the same quickness, lightning reflexes, and ninja like stealth to get out from under my feet that you use to get up under them?

[Lainie]

"Of course I could."

[inkrose115]

Bella,
Poop does not belong on walls. If you are going to splatter poop on the walls by flying in circles, please don't hit targets above my reach. I don't like standing on stools just to wipe it off the walls.

[Psihala]

I don't like standing on stools just to wipe it off the walls.

Bleh! I hope they are at least the type that are meant to be stood on.

~Psihala

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by Psihala

Bleh! I hope they are at least the type that are meant to be stood on.

~Psihala

I've put my feet, hands, and butt into the kind of stool one doesn't generally sit on.

[Roadie]

Xen, it is not necessary to climb on Skye's back to get to the food bowl. There's more than enough for all of you, even if it was temporarily empty. Besides, you are modeling poor behavior - would you like it if Fat Cat did that to you? She'd smooooooosh you flat.

[DawnStorm]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Xen, it is not necessary to climb on Skye's back to get to the food bowl. There's more than enough for all of you, even if it was temporarily empty. Besides, you are modeling poor behavior - would you like it if Fat Cat did that to you? She'd smooooooosh you flat.

That sounds like You Tube material!

[kit_n_caboodle]

Pablo, don't drink a gallon of water from the tap, then barf it up while spinning in a circle!

Well, at least you did it on the laminate, not the carpet.

Pet ownership is such a trial sometimes.

[Syllavus]

Lulu, the microfiber cloths that we use to swiffer with are not alive, therefore you do not have to act all proud and meow your head off after you bring a dirty one up from the basement. You have not vanquished some formidable foe, you're just carrying around dirty rags.

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

Barkley, you will NOT melt in the rain. Nor will mud disintegrate your pretty white paws.

You MUST go out and go to the bathroom before I go to work. MUST. I don't want you holding it for nearly 20 hours.

[Chloe]

Dear Rocco,

You are allowed to go outside with the dad when he's working on the garden, even if I am still in the house. Nothing terrible will happen to me in your absence. Besides, I notice you don't have that same concern for me if he's carrying a leash.

[JoeBentley]

Bailey kitty we don't mind if you sleep on the bed during the day.

I actually feel pretty bad about this. Bailey has gotten into the habit of going into the bedroom during the day and stretching out on the bed. But every time I walk in there for something and she sees me she jumps down as if she thinks I caught her doing something wrong.

We've been working on keeping her off the kitchen cabinets so maybe she's confused about what she's allowed to be up on.

[NorthernLite]

Daxter,

If you drag your big, fluffy tail across my dinner plate one more time I will take to tying it to your leg whenever I eat. You are a cat. You are not a monkey. You have no need of a prehensile tail.

Booboo,

We are sorry we had to have you shorn but your hair mats were getting worse by the day and you kept biting me when I tried to comb them out. I'm glad they let you keep your big, fluffy tail. It does make you look like a squirrel though.

[Tabbyclaw]

Trouble,

Don't try to fight the ripples in the water dish. You will not win. If you strike them down, they will only grow more numerous, and then you will have an epic freakout because for some reason your face is wet omg.

-Tabby
the princess with claws

[Minstrel]

Pasha,

These are YOUR TOYS. They're for YOU. You can bite them and shake them and even tear them up. You don't have to just halfheartedly sniff them before ignoring them to follow me. You can play with them and keep yourself entertained when I'm not home!




(Anyone know how to teach a dog how to play with toys? I don't think he knows what they're for!)

[Zorro]

Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.

Barkley, you will NOT melt in the rain. Nor will mud disintegrate your pretty white paws.

You MUST go out and go to the bathroom before I go to work. MUST. I don't want you holding it for nearly 20 hours.

Zeus, please see the above. Also, as a side note, you are part Lab. Your ancestors were bred to jump into cold water and fetch game and not care about being wet. So, you know, it's time to step up up do your ancestors proud.

[Arriah]

Originally Posted by Minstrel

(Anyone know how to teach a dog how to play with toys? I don't think he knows what they're for!)

I had success putting a small amount of bacon fat on a toy and then praising said stupid dog for going after it. After that, there was no question about that item being a dog toy.

[GenYus234]

Dear Pixel,

You have been trying to use the wall to cover up the "results" in the litter box for 16 years now. We accept that. Scratching the master bath door for the same purpose? That's a new one. Yes, it makes a lovely loud booming noise that wakes up the kitty scratcher. But three times in one night? I know you aren't going that much as I've seen the litterbox. If you want scritches that bad, just jump on my chest like you usually do. I'm used to waking that way by now.