Why, yes, I *am* humor-impaired

[GenYus234]

Based on how many protests it gets, homosexuality is at least as dangerous as spent fuel rods from nuclear reactors. So I assume they'll bury it in a geologically stable region of the desert. The real question is how you design signs to warn as of yet unimagined civilizations about the dangerous homosexuality stored there.

Gen "Does homosexuality even have a half life?" Yus

[Photo Bob]

I just hope they're smart enough to store the rods away from the... oh wait, you said "spent fuel rods".

Never mind.

[crescent]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

Based on how many protests it gets, homosexuality is at least as dangerous as spent fuel rods from nuclear reactors. So I assume they'll bury it in a geologically stable region of the desert. The real question is how you design signs to warn as of yet unimagined civilizations about the dangerous homosexuality stored there.

Gen "Does homosexuality even have a half life?" Yus

As a unique coincidence, Southern Nevada has appropriate facilites for both spent fuel rods and openly homosexual people. It's like a two-for-one deal.

[snopes]

Comment: Is this e-mail false or true: It even has a picture of the lady.

Senior Lemon Picker

Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida, decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.



The woman applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far
too qualified for the job.

She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had
worked as a social worker and a school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual
experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said. "I've been divorced three
times, owned 2 Chryslers and I voted for Obama."

[snopes]

Comment: IS THE BELOW ITEM GENUINE REPORTAGE THAT HAPPENS TO BE BLACKLY HUMOROUS OR IS IT JUST A
PIECE OF FACETIOUS SHORT FICTION FROM A PROFESSIONAL WEBSITE AND BY A
MEMBER OF THE MEDICAL INDUSTRY WHOSE CREDENTIALS APPEAR TO BE GENUINE? I
SEARCHED BASED ON THE FINAL SENTENCE OF THE ARTICLE, TO SEE IF THE ARTICLE IS A
PARODY ORIGINATING THERE OR PUBLISHED THERE, BUT GOT NO RESULTS. I HOPE
YOU CAN CLARIFY BECAUSE THE ARTICLE IS BEGINNING TO BE CIRCULATED AROUND
THE INTERNET APPARENTLY AS IF BELIEVED TO BE FACTUAL.

http://forums.spondylitis.org/ubbthr...&Number=237906

[snopes]

Comment: Found on Loonwatch.com

Michele Bachmann Thankful No Americans Died In Sikh Shooting

[snopes]

Comment: I would say comment on the site also as well as the article...

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2008/10/u...ng-states.html

[snopes]

Comment: FORMER CONGRESSWOMAN HELEN BENTLY (MD. REP) ANNOUNCED ON THE
RADIO TODAY, ON WCBM IN BALTIMRE, THAT THE NAVY WAS TO NAME A SHIP AFTER
JANE FONDA & ANOTHER AFTER LADY GAGA! PLEASE TELL ME NOT SO!!

[GenYus234]

Sorry, it is so. Every ship commissioned in the last 75 years has been named after Jane Fonda. And every ship for the last (5-7?) years has been named after Lady Gaga.

[snopes]

Originally Posted by snopes

THE NAVY WAS TO NAME A SHIP AFTER
JANE FONDA & ANOTHER AFTER LADY GAGA!

No, those two ships were part of a triumvirate which was axed due to budget cuts by the military-hating Obama administration. The only one they're going ahead with now is the USS Cindy Sheehan.

[JoeBentley]

The following ships are under construction but not yet commissioned and are to be named after people:

The USS Elmo Zumwalt, to be named after the former CNO.
The USS Gabrielle Giffords, to be named after the Arizona Congresswoman.
The USS Gerald R. Ford, to be named after the former President.
The USS John F. Kenney, the second ship to be named after the former President.
The USS John Finn, named after a Navy Chief awarded the Medal of Honor.
The USS John Murtha, named after the Pennsylvania Congressmen and Marine Veteran.
The USS John Warner, named after the former Secretary of the Navy.
The USS Michael Monsoor, named after the Navy Seal awared the Medal of Honor.
The USS Michael Murphy, named after another Navy Seal Medal of Honor awardee.
The USS Rafael Peralta, named after a Marine awarded the Navy Cross.
The USS Ralph Johnson, named after a Marine awarded the Medal of Honor.
The USS Thomas Hudner, named after a Naval Aviater awarded the Medal of Honor.

[Photo Bob]

You all are jumping to conclusions. Bently said the Navy, not the US Navy.

I understand the Vietnamese Navy wants to honor Jane Fonda for all those great workout videos she made back in the day. It is they that are naming the ship for her.

As for Lady GaGa, that meat dress she wore? Made with Vietnamese water buffalo, so she gets a ship named for her as well.

[GenYus234]

Sort of a hijack off Joe's post. It is logical that the ships are generally named after sailors or or Marines. But is there an equivilent way to honor soldiers or airmen? I know that some tank classes are named after soldiers, but there are a lot less tank classes than there are individual ships.

[snopes]

Comment: In the old days, people often put peanut butter together with
jelly on some bread. Back then this was safe. But today, this is a very
dangerous thing to do. The chemicals used in manufacturing both the
peanut butter and the jelly are corrosive. By themselves, there is no
problem. However, when these ingredients are combined, the create a
dangerous substance. Several persons have been seriously injured when
their PB&J sandwiches sat for several hours, and exploded due to the
chemical reaction of this dangerous combination. Unfortunately, most
of the injuries have been to children. One child opened his lunch
bag, and pulled out his PB&J sandwich. As soon as it hit the air, it
caused a violent explosion. The child, as well as several other
children at the same lunch table were taken to the hospital and
treated for severe burns and even broken bones as a result of the
blast.

Never mix Peanut Butter with Jelly for any reason.......

Is this true?

[UrbanLegends101]

It is the bread which makes this combination dangerous. After all, we've had premixed peanut butter and jelly available for years.

The real danger with peanut butter used to be the dragon bones.

"It's like how peanut butter is made with huge amounts of hydrochloric acid to dissolve any potential dragon bones that may have gotten into in the manufacturing process," (Jon) Stewart said. "Will you lose some people who die by eating hyrochloric acid? Of course. But isn't worth know that your peanut butter is dragon bone free?"

[snopes]

Comment: I've tracked this rumor back to here. I'd really love to know if
it's true.

http://alexbalk.tumblr.com/post/34349592/outtakes

[snopes]

Comment: I saw an interview w/ neil armstrong & oprah, wheere he tells
oprah that his giant leap for mankind quote was actually a misquote.. he
had said Manny Klein because he was a neighbour of armstrongs while
growing up.. the wife of the jewish man was told by his wife in a yelling
match, that when the kid next door (armstrong) walked on the moon, then he
might be righ!. I saw this interview w/ my OWN eyes BUT CANNOT find it...
I swear I saw this damn interview but cant find :-(

[snopes]

Comment: Rumor postings on Facebook that Kevin Bacon is changing his last
name to not offend Muslims. Sounds like a hoax to me.

------------------------

Comment: Rumor going around that Kevin Bacon is changing his name to Kevin
Nine Eleven to appease muslims.

[jimmy101_again]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

Sort of a hijack off Joe's post. It is logical that the ships are generally named after sailors or or Marines. But is there an equivalent way to honor soldiers or airmen? I know that some tank classes are named after soldiers, but there are a lot less tank classes than there are individual ships.

Yes; bases, camps, buildings, firing ranges, ... are often named after soldiers (or airmen, or marines, or sailors).

[snopes]

Comment: Are these true?

The Groupon Guide to: Babe Ruth Myths

As the story of Babe "The Baby" Ruth's baseball career continues to be
told to new generations, the facts are becoming more and more distorted.

Dispel common Ruth myths with his handy guide:

Myth: Before hitting a home run in the 1932 World Series, he "called his
shot" by pointing his bat toward the center-field bleachers.

Truth: Grainy film footage confirms that "The Sultan of Swing" did in fact
point toward the bleachers before hitting a home run. However, Ruth faked
the home run by taking a powerful swing, catching the pitched ball,
discreetly swallowing it, and yelling, "A home run! A home run is what I
just struck with my bat! Now I run the bases before you all!" The ball,
and the truth, weren't revealed until much later, when Babe Ruth's doctor
penned the bestseller Things I've Removed from Babe Ruth's Body: The
Story.

Myth: A sick child asked Babe Ruth to hit a home run for him, and Ruth
did.

Truth: "The Great Home Run Provider" did hit a home run for the child, and
then two more; however, the only sickness the child suffered from was
being selfish.

Myth: Babe Ruth died on August 16, 1948.

Truth: Though a death certificate confirms this date, "The Nightmare on
Baseball Street" continues to live on in all of us because of his final
wish — for his body to be donated to Hansen Paper Co. and then slowly
parceled out into their paper products.