The Angel

[snopes]

My brother and I were having a great time playing ball. He was batting and I was catching. We always batted toward the road, as we had already broken too many windows batting toward the house. Seeing as I was a pretty good catcher and he wasn’t really the best of batters we felt we were quite safe.

That day however he was at his best and hit a homer, right out of the park, so to speak. The ball sailed up and out, clearing the 4 lane highway in front of our house. This wasn’t a problem though as I was past ten and allowed to cross the road by myself. So very carefully, as Elmer the Safety Elephant always taught, I looked to the right and I looked to the left and then to the right again before running to fetch the ball.

After its retrieval I went through the procedure again to cross back over. There was a transport truck barreling my way, but after that the two lanes on my side of the road were clear and although there was traffic coming in the opposing lanes, it was far enough away that I knew I could make a dash and get across. Thus, grasping the ball firmly in my right hand, I launched myself into a run the second the truck zipped by. It was then that I heard my brother screaming and out of the corner of my eye saw the station wagon that was tail gating the semi. My heart leapt as I instinctively knew I was going to be hit, there was no time for the driver to stop or for me to get out of his way. And then I felt and heard it: a soft rush of air from behind which propelled me into the clear second traffic lane and kept me going as if I had wings on my feet, until I reached brother's side.

How did you ever do that he exclaimed. There is no way that station wagon could have missed you. And it was true. There was no humanly way possible that it could have avoided me, but with God all things are possible, including angels who come to our rescue in the nick of His time.

[Mouse]

Hopefully there'd be some kind of DHS investigation into why these kids were being allowed to play near a four-lane highway. Maybe I've been in small towns entirely too long, but when I hear the words "four lane highway," I'm picturing something similar to the interstate and given how many cars are on that road going some 65+ miles per hour...yeah, most kids would be street pizza. But maybe I'm wrong.

Still all things considering, I've faced much, much worse glurge.

[Singing in the Drizzle]

It could be a 4 lane road though a residential area, but the speeds are usually round 35MPH. In residential areas you should be using cross walks since they tend to be quite common. Rural area also have 4 line highways up to 55 MPH around here, but those house usually have enough land that hitting a ball somewhere safe is not a problem.

[SatansHobbit]

Originally Posted by snopes

And then I felt and heard it: a soft rush of air from behind which propelled me into the clear second traffic lane and kept me going as if I had wings on my feet, until I reached brother's side.

Personally, I'd do a damn sight worse than fart if I thought I was just about to get run over.

[DawnStorm]

Elmer the Safety Elephant?!


Hmmm, the major state highway that runs right by my house is six lanes, but you'd be a fool and a half to play baseball anywhere near it. The interstates around here all have big sound barriers between them and the houses on the other side. Yeah, I'd like to see a ball game taking place somewhere along the Inner Loop of the Beltway! However, given the standstill traffic comes to during rush hour, it wouldn't be that dangerous.

[erwins]

These kinds of glurges always make me wonder why (in these people's worlds) God hates the kids he didn't send an angel to save? Here it's the third leading cause of death for kids 5 to 9 years old. And don't give me the "we can't understand his plan" answer, because according to this glurge "with God all things are possible" so he should be able to carry out any plan he wants without having little kids get hit by cars.

[Don Enrico]

Originally Posted by DawnStorm

Elmer the Safety Elephant?!

He seems to be a Canadian elephant: http://www.elmer.ca/home.php

[Dropbear]

So in the case of those kids that do get squished? Angels were busy elsewhere? God didn't really love them? The kids didn't belong to the elect?

I particularly hate this type of glurge. It essentially says to parents of children who die "God didn't think your kids were worth saving".

Dropbear

[DawnStorm]

Originally Posted by Dropbear

So in the case of those kids that do get squished? Angels were busy elsewhere?

Dropbear

It was their day off.

Don Enrico: thanks for the image. I think.

[Alarm]

But I thought Elmer the Safety Elephant was about not sniffing glue?



My bad, that's a cow, not an elephant!

[BrianB]

< semi hijack>
When I read the OP I got pretty excited because it looked like the long-awaited (at least by me!) return of the Canadian Glurge factory (CGF). (For you newer snopesters here, the CGF was the source of such glurge classics as "The Moose", "A Most Unusual Wake-up Call" (aka the Canadian jumping squirrel), and my personal favorite, the "Hard Rock Ice-Cream Café.") I'm trying not to get my hopes too high since it's missing the prerequisite disastrous road trip but the fact it has Elmer the helpful Canadian traffic elephant makes me think the Canadian Glurge Factory is really back!
< /semi hijack>

Brian

[Latiam]

Back when I was in elementary school, you got to fly the Elmer the Safety Elephant flag under the Canadian flag until you had your first accident of the year. I'm not sure how severe it had to be. It was a traingular flag with Elmer on it.

[GenYus234]

What happened if someone had an accident whilst raising the Elmer the Safety Elephant flag?

[BrianB]

Originally Posted by Latiam

It was a traingular flag with Elmer on it.

Hmmm. I can just make out a triangular flag with Elmer on it flying over the schoolhouse in Safety Village. However, the Canadian flag is nowhere in sight!

Brian

[Latiam]

You're better than me; I can't find the schoolhouse!

Now that I remember, it was serious accidents; I think if you hadn't had any for a year you could fly the flag and then how many years straight you had been flying the flag was mentioned at assemblies. It might have had to do with traffic accidents, I don't really remember. We're talking 25-30 years ago now.

[GenYus234]

Originally Posted by Latiam

You're better than me; I can't find the schoolhouse!

It is the building with the Elmer safety flag flying form the flagpole.

[Latiam]

Oh, it's interactive.
I can't see it. There's something wrong with this netbook. I can't play videos on it either unless they're in Windows Media player.
I'm still trying to figure out if I turned something off by accident.

[Assilem Brandywine]

Originally Posted by Alarm

But I thought Elmer the Safety Elephant was about not sniffing glue?



My bad, that's a cow, not an elephant!

Ah-Ah! He's actually a bull. He's married to Elsie the cow (Spokescow for Borden). They have two calves together.

[Gayle]

Originally Posted by SatansHobbit

Personally, I'd do a damn sight worse than fart if I thought I was just about to get run over.

YOMANK cause this one... well, I've had a cold and you could say this surprised the snot right out of me.

[DawnStorm]

Question:
Did the angel want to wear his red shoes?