Nigerian scam 007 version

[Floater]

Got this forwarded from a friend:

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From: "Spike"<hoell@xxxxxxx.com>
Subject: YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE
Date: Fri, 4 May 2012 13:28:58 -0700

As I sit here sipping a martini it is my regretful duty to inform you that you have been selected for assassination.

I am a professional assassin (I enclose my certificate of assassination as proof) and SMERSH have contracted me to assassinate you and have specifically paid extra for a particularly nasty death which makes it look like you died in a particularly bizarre sex game gone wrong; I had already bought the shire horse stallion (he's called Henry - picture attached), the lard and the dragon dildo (from Bad Dragon of course, I only use the very best tools) when I found out that you are innocent of the accuse, so I make out this time to contact you. Unfortunately international crime syndicates won't admit to mistakes and cancel the hit so I will be forced to carry out the assassination on you. Sorry about that old chap but rules are rules.

There is an option for me to help you in other for you to know who had paid SMERSH for your DEATH and don't forget my men had been monitoring you for the past few days and daily record of your activities is been sent to me but I have refuse to order your DEATH.

Get back to me if you value your LIFE with all due speed or else I regret I will have to carry out my original contract to assassinate you and although he is quite charming for a horse I don't think Henry is the most sensitive of lovers.

Toodle Pip!

Dai Teatime
International Assassin
Email: spikedwaggin1@xxxxxxxx

[Mickey Blue]

Its pronounced "Tee-ah-time-ee".. Nice touch..

[Alarm]

That's a funny take on it!!

[GenYus234]

I want to see the certificate of assasination!

[chillas]

Originally Posted by Floater

Get back to me if you value your LIFE with all due speed

Gee, I usually value my LIFE at a leisurely pace.

[diddy]

Originally Posted by chillas

Gee, I usually value my LIFE at a leisurely pace.

I tend to value LIFE about as much as it costs at the local newsstand...

[Richard W]

So where's the scam? Trojan (horse) in the attachment? Are they hoping somebody will take it seriously and get in touch to pay them off? Or is it just a joke forward?

It's odd language too - half of it reads like an educated English speaker (probably English person given the cultural and current affairs references) but there are random bits of typical scammer syntax. I wonder if that's part of the joke. It's not very obvious if so.

[crocoduck_hunter]

Phishing scam, most likely.

Seems like the latest variant of this.

[Richard W]

How would it be a phishing scam when it doesn't ask you to click on anything or send any details anywhere? (Unless there really was an attachment). It's just a spoof version of the ones in the link. I doubt the person who wrote it thought anybody would take it seriously.

[The Goof]

Well James Bond would, being SMERSH and all.

[DemonWolf]

Originally Posted by Richard W

How would it be a phishing scam when it doesn't ask you to click on anything or send any details anywhere? (Unless there really was an attachment). It's just a spoof version of the ones in the link. I doubt the person who wrote it thought anybody would take it seriously.

Sometimes they ask in later emails. The first one is to get you interested and to respond. Later they ask for data using some pretext such as confirming your identity.

[Floater]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

I want to see the certificate of assasination!

So does my friend who got the mail. He also wondered about the promised photo of Henry, the Shire horse stallion.

[TrishDaDish]

Assassin:
1.A murderer of an important person in a surprise attack for political or religious reasons.
2.A member of the a branch of Ismaili Muslims (1094–1256), renowned as violent militant fanatics.

Ah yes, the helpful assassin. You'll see him directly at noon under the green umbrella at the bus station when he shall kill you discreetly. He'll be the one wearing the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt and carrying a blue gym bag. Do be a right honourable chap and sit still when I kill you. No telling anyone! Or I'll double kill you!

[Don Enrico]

Viral marketing for Bad Dragon?