Coin messages on military headstones

[snopes]

Comment: While visiting some cemeteries you may notice that headstones
marking certain graves have coins on them, left by previous visitors to
the grave. These coins have distinct meanings when left on the headstones
of those who gave their life while serving in America's military, & these
meanings vary depending on the denomination of coin.

A coin left on a headstone or at the grave site is meant as a message to
the deceased soldier's family that someone else has visited the grave to
pay respect. Leaving a penny at the grave means simply that you visited.

A nickel indicates that you & the deceased trained at boot camp
together,while a dime means you served with him in some capacity. By
leaving a quarter at the grave, you are telling the family that you were
with the solider when he was killed. According to tradition, the money
left at graves in national cemeteries & state veterans cemeteries is
eventually collected, & the funds are put toward maintaining the cemetery
or paying burial costs for indigent veterans.

In the U.S., this practice became common during the Vietnam war, due to
the political divide in the country over the war; leaving a coin was seen
as a more practical way to communicate that you had visited the grave than
contacting the soldier's family, which could devolve into an uncomfortable
argument over politics relating to the war. Some Vietnam veterans would
leave coins as a "down payment" to buy their fallen comrades a beer or
play a hand of cards when they would finally be reunited.

The tradition of leaving coins on the headstones of military men & women
can be traced to as far back as the Roman Empire.

[Skeptic]

I'd never heard this tradition (nor had my wife) so I googled "coins on graves".
The first three pages all had basically the same things - ie, sign of respect, to pay the ferryman to the afterlife, or as a tribute to the tradition of Benjamin Franklin. But not one mention of any military background to the tradition.

[ganzfeld]

Originally Posted by snopes

[...] a more practical way to communicate that you had visited the grave than
contacting the soldier's family, which could devolve into an uncomfortable
argument over politics relating to the war. [...]

Right. This happens to me every time I mention a visit to Arlington Cemetery: "You visited those baby killers!?" Where do people get these stupid ideas?

[ASL]

And seriously, who calls the family to tell them you just visited their dead relative anyways?

[Singing in the Drizzle]

Can not find any reference to this leaving coins based on how you served together other than peoples blogs.

I can see people leaving coins for luck, to help the dead and just letting the family know someone visited the grave. Leaving coins in denominations that show how you may have served with the deceased would first require that it is well known that is what they are for.

[fritos56]

I've never heard of this one before. Both my mother and father are buried at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery in San Antonio.My mom died in 1982 and was buried there first, and then my dad passed away in 1996,and his coffin was placed on top of hers in the vault.Been going down there since 1982 to take flowers to their grave, and never once in all those years have i ever seen anyone leaving coins on the headstones. Haven't seen any in the cemetery at all.My parents are buried in the original cemetery.They have expanded it further into Fort Sam Houston Army Base, so maybe this is happening in the newer area,but not in the old original cemetery.