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  #281  
Old 27 April 2012, 03:16 AM
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Roadie Roadie is offline
 
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Ash,

I have had many kitties, long and short hair. I've never had a short-hair that cannot keep themselves at least groomed enough not to have clumps. That your clumps occur along your spine bolsters my belief that you are such a fatass you can't reach waaaaaaaay back there.

ETA:

Dakota,

It's the same dog bed. It's just clean and refluffed now. I promise.

Last edited by Roadie; 27 April 2012 at 03:34 AM.
  #282  
Old 30 April 2012, 04:31 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Flanders, chasing and snapping at bumblebees is not a good idea! Believe me, their stings hurt like an NFBSK!
  #283  
Old 30 April 2012, 04:45 PM
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Hey foster kittens,

You know that box full of sandy stuff you guys pee in?

It's also a good place to poop in. Better than the bed, anyway.
  #284  
Old 01 May 2012, 02:08 AM
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LadyLockeout LadyLockeout is offline
 
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Hey foster kittens -

Big Trucker: You are a PIG! Let your siblings nurse!

Little Trucker: It's my foot, not a nipple. Also, stop trying to eat cat litter!

Mini Evad: Stop squirming up under my foot! I'm trying not to kill you!

Baby Spice: You stop trying to eat cat litter too!!

All of you: I only have ONE bottle! ONE! Take turns!

Frazzled foster momma
  #285  
Old 01 May 2012, 02:24 AM
kismet kismet is offline
 
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Smudge, I understand you were probably weaned too early. But the plushy blanket on my bed is NOT your momma cat. Please stop nursing it, you make it all slobbery and cold.

Shadow, fiance leaves for work every morning at 3am. The rest of the house does not like to be awake at this time. Please stop using his departure as your cue to sing. Also, you are TOO stealthy when you aren't yelling. Please do not sneak beneath my feet, as I fear I may trip over you and kill us both. Also also, we are going to take care of you from now on. You do not need to steal the dogs' food or the baked goods, or the wet napkin I used to wipe DS' face after he finished breakfast, we will feed you every day, promise.
  #286  
Old 01 May 2012, 02:36 AM
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Thing 1 Thing 1 is offline
 
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Cats, you are obligate carnivores*. Really. You shouldn't like the squash soup, smoothies, hummus, onion skins, carrot peelings, and other random assorted bits and drips of people food that you've managed to find and eat. And stop trying to eat the swiss chard! And the lettuce! They're doing badly enough already, you don't need to help.

*Yes, I've known cats who enjoyed some people food (generally starchy things), but never any who were as enthusiastic as these two.
  #287  
Old 01 May 2012, 05:31 PM
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A former co-worker had a cat who loved raw spinach. Once he figured out she kept it on hand, he'd beg for it in front of the fridge every morning.
  #288  
Old 01 May 2012, 05:50 PM
Gayle Gayle is offline
 
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Slick LOOOOVES celery tops.
  #289  
Old 01 May 2012, 05:51 PM
Layla Layla is offline
 
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One of my cats ate a bit of asparagus after I'd dropped it on the floor by accident. He grabbed it and ran into the living room. I watched him, not really thinking he'd eat it. I guess I thought he would play with it. Nope, he ate it. And then threw it up a few minutes later. Cats and asparagus apparently do not mix.
  #290  
Old 01 May 2012, 05:55 PM
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Must vary by cat. My Gobi ate asparagus with no problems.
  #291  
Old 01 May 2012, 07:09 PM
Layla Layla is offline
 
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It must...actually that cat may have thrown up because he ate it too fast. He had a bad habit of eating way too quickly and then throwing up. I just assumed that it was the asparagus because it seemed like a bizarre thing for a cat to eat.
  #292  
Old 01 May 2012, 10:52 PM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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Bailey.

Yes there is a fly trapped between the window and the blinds.

No no matter how long and loudly you sit on your cat perch and chitter at it the fly will not fly into your mouth so you can eat it.

No you may not destroy the blinds in attempt to get to said fly.
  #293  
Old 03 May 2012, 04:08 PM
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llewtrah llewtrah is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thing 1 View Post
Cats, you are obligate carnivores*. Really. You shouldn't like the squash soup, smoothies, hummus, onion skins, carrot peelings,
Please try to keep them away from onion stuff. It causes a form of anaemia in cats.
  #294  
Old 03 May 2012, 04:11 PM
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Mr Minns

You have won. The vet nurses say they won't even try to get a blood sample from you in future. That's twice you have beaten the vet nurses. The idea is they draw blood from you, you don't draw blood from them. OTOH, yes I agree that you have every right to look smug. I have told them that your name derives from "Beast of Bodmin".
  #295  
Old 03 May 2012, 04:27 PM
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Dear stupid stupid Onyx cat,

Please stop jumping up and balancing on the top of the doors. You're not graceful enough and way too wobbly. Plus you scratch the doors with your claws when attempting to jump down, the slam the door into the wall when you push off of it. And at some point you'll end up falling and probably get hurt. Yes, we are impressed with your jumping abaility, but you can stop showing off now.

~Your slaves
  #296  
Old 03 May 2012, 05:18 PM
Gayle Gayle is offline
 
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Dear Liz Liz,

When I made my bean dip this morning, I remembered the first time back in the fall that I used the Magic Bullit (GE version) to make a smoothie after you joined the household. I remember thinking "Well, now I know to check the top of the refrigerator before firing up the Bullit." You flew pretty good in those days. You're more than twice the weight as then and at least 3x as big as you were then. I am soooooo glad you abandoned the fridge as a go to spot.

Now, about that mockingbird: leave it alone. It's outside, you're inside. We need to keep it that way. It may look like fun, but the mockingbird will mess you up!

Love,
Feeder
  #297  
Old 04 May 2012, 03:41 AM
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Spamamander Spamamander is offline
 
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Dearest Armani-cat,

That bird you are chittering at and trying to bolt out the door to get at? It's a hawk. A REALLY big hawk. I know you don't know what it is, as it's a ways away out in the back and you just see it flying. I can assure you, you would make a meal for it much more easily than the other way around.
  #298  
Old 04 May 2012, 05:56 AM
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geminilee geminilee is offline
 
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Ha! I told you you were going to go swimming if you kept drinking out of the pool, Amadeus. Now you come straggling into the house with your whole back half wet. I just wish I had been out there to point at you and laugh.

Also, we are quite capable of catching all the birds we want on our own. You do not need to keep supplementing the family groceries by bringing us dead birds (or, in one case, half a bird; I guess bird heads make for tasty snacks).
  #299  
Old 07 May 2012, 02:43 AM
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kit_n_caboodle kit_n_caboodle is offline
 
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Pablo, it's a good thing you're cute, because you are not blessed in the brains department.

Do I think you are going to learn from your encounter with the sticky strips meant for the fungus gnats? No. I do not. Bare spot on your paw notwithstanding.

Also, it's a good thing you can make me laugh like this, because when you woke me up yet again at 5 am, I was ready to wring your furry little neck.
  #300  
Old 10 May 2012, 01:49 AM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Scuttlebutt, it is pouring down rain out there--you might say it's raining cats and dogs! Anyway, when it is raining I really prefer to keep you inside so you won't get drenched! Stop acting like an addict going through withdrawal symptoms! The Great Outdoors will still be there tomorrow!

Flanders, what part of we're not going for a walk because of the rain don't you get? You poor dear! Shall I call the SPCA?
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