Philosophy for Old Age (Absolutely Brilliant)

[BrianB]

My usual source of glurge sent me this one in a 3.6MB PowerPoint file. (Sigh.) One thing I found interesting is the non American spellings of "realise" and "ageing." My first thought was that it was British or Australian in origin. However, the title page in the PowerPoint says it was created in January 2010 by He Yan. I looked that name up and discovered he does claim to be the author. Also, the fact he's based in Singapore would explain the spelling. However, most of the sites with this PowerPoint claim it's written by George Carlin. The version I received, on the other hand, does not mention George Carlin at all.

In addition, I wonder if the text beginning with "HOW TO STAY YOUNG" was added to the original glurge. It's not part of the version that Mr. Yan said he wrote, for example. And please note the "Absolutely Brilliant" was part of the title and not my commentary.

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED,
DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.

Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?'
'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life ...... . You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony.
YOU BECOME 21... YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh,
what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour- dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.... Whoa! Put on the brakes,
it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone
But wait!!!
You MAKE it to 60.
You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21,
TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Friday, December 9, 2011!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever... Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8.Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people that you love them,
at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people – who cares?
But do share this with someone... We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
See you again !!!

Brian

[damian]

Sorry to chow you.

[Dasla]

And without checking I could have told you it wasn't Australian since 18 is the drinking age her (and the age you are legally considered an adult but drinking is the main concern)

Not that 21 is still celebrated with a big party but that is more a tradition then any "real" coming of age thing.

[Rachael]

Nah, this sounds way too chipper and hokey to have come from George Carlin.

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.

I did read it to the end and I lost two minutes of my life.

[BrianB]

Originally Posted by damian

Sorry to chow you.

Oops! I did search and nothing came up. However, I think what got me is that I searched with the British spellings whereas the snopes page has American spellings.

To the mods here I'd say go ahead and lock or delete this thread. Thanks.
Brian