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#1
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I've cleaned up the formatting but preserved the odd capitalizations.
Quote:
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#2
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If I were to send this to twelve people I'd probably get twelve responses to stop sending this crap.
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#3
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Shorter one:
Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. Bart Simpson (saying grace). |
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#4
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That's why my religion has never caught on. "Dear Invisible Pink Dragon Who Lives in my Garage and is Undetectable by Any Means Known to Man" increases the length of prayer by 60%.
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#5
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#6
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Who wants a new Job? All covered in boils--yuck!
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#7
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That's the old Job. The new Job is the one that was given even more stuff and children than he had before. 'Cause presents totally make up for being a d-bag.
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#8
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Of course. My favorite part of being beaten up by my boyfriend is when he buys me presents afterward. It shows how much he loves me.
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#9
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Especially when he did it just to show a rival how much you love him.
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#11
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And once you have more kids, you stop being sad about the dozen or so that God killed in order to prove a point to the devil.
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#12
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God counts in mysterious ways.
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#13
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Then he complained that the government was taking away all his Jobs!
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#14
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And I thought quickies applied to something else!
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#15
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I knew God doesn't like people asking questions, but taking breaks too? He seems like a corrupt company executive. Even tricking naive folks into doing his company's advertising.
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#16
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We are being asked to beg God to "walk through my house, take away all my worries, heal my sickness, etc." Of course, the epistle of James says that we are to pray for the health of the sick, by why not call a doctor, get some medicine instead. After all, God gave us minds to probe and find out what causes illness, and how to cure it. And as for worries, they are things that either we create for ourselves or someone places on us. It's up to us, to solve our own problems that cause our worrying.
Barb Rainey |
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#17
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More stuff and sons. Daughters he just gave them the same number he had previously. Yeah, d-bag all the way.
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