Dear God, why didn't you save the school children?

[JoeBentley]

Description: Time to wake up, America

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at...

Virginia Tech 04/16/07
Amish Country, PA
Wisconsin
Columbine High School
Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01 and
El Cajon , California 3/22/01?

Sincerely,

Concerned Student



Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,

God

[Chloe]

Then why didn't You save the 28 Ugandans who died when their f*cking church collapsed last year? Got a convenient excuse for that one?

[Artemis]

So much for the omnipotence/omniscience...God's turning into an excuse-ridden, whiny emo kid!

[JoeBentley]

Originally Posted by Artemis

So much for the omnipotence/omniscience...God's turning into an excuse-ridden, whiny emo kid!

You know I'm sure my militant atheism is going to taint this as biased, but one thing that has always bothered about a lot of mainstream religions beliefs is how needy a lot of people seem to think God is. For an all powerful, omnipotent, omnipresent being he sure as hell seems to need all of us piddling little sub-beings constantly telling him how great he is all the time. The Judeo-Christian in particular seems rather codependent.

As I mentioned in a previous isn't the common version of how God and mankind supposed to relate to each other akin to one of us rehydrating a batch of Sea Monkeys and them demanding they all take time out of their days to tell us how much they like our haircut?

[KingDavid8]

Originally Posted by JoeBentley

You know I'm sure my militant atheism is going to taint this as biased, but one thing that has always bothered about a lot of mainstream religions beliefs is how needy a lot of people seem to think God is. For an all powerful, omnipotent, omnipresent being he sure as hell seems to need all of us piddling little sub-beings constantly telling him how great he is all the time. The Judeo-Christian in particular seems rather codependent.

As I mentioned in a previous isn't the common version of how God and mankind supposed to relate to each other akin to one of us rehydrating a batch of Sea Monkeys and them demanding they all take time out of their days to tell us how much they like our haircut?

Out of curiosity, who told you that God needs or demands for us to worship Him, as opposed to us worshipping Him because we want to? That seems to be such a prevalent understanding of the Christian religion from some atheists, and I'm not sure where it's coming from.

Personally, I praise God because I'm grateful for all He's done and think He's pretty cool.

David

[Mosherette]

Originally Posted by KingDavid8

Out of curiosity, who told you that God needs or demands for us to worship Him, as opposed to us worshipping Him because we want to? That seems to be such a prevalent understanding of the Christian religion from some atheists, and I'm not sure where it's coming from.

Personally, I praise God because I'm grateful for all He's done and think He's pretty cool.

David

I thought the commandment to worship no god but him had quite a lot to do with it. The Lord your God is a jealous God and all that.

[wanderwoman]

Why didn't you save the school children at...

...Amish Country, PA...

Interesting they would include that one.

Last I heard God is allowed in Amish Schools. They aren't supported by tax dollars. My understanding is that religion is not taught there, but biblical messages are found throughout the curriculum. Cite

So what do you say to that glurgewriter? Whereever you are?

Darn, glurgewriters never answer!

Because of our country's laws, God is not allowed to discriminate based on religious belief. Thus, the righteous suffer alongside the wicked.

[Esprise Me]

Originally Posted by wanderwoman

Interesting they would include that one.

Last I heard God is allowed in Amish Schools. They aren't supported by tax dollars. My understanding is that religion is not taught there, but biblical messages are found throughout the curriculum. Cite

So what do you say to that glurgewriter? Whereever you are?

Darn, glurgewriters never answer!

Dear Wanderwoman:
We are not allowed* on Snopes.
Sincerely,
The Glurgers
*By which we mean, people call us on our bullshit and we don't like it.

Oh, and Woapalanne: YOMANK!

[Tarquin Farquart]

The God of glurge is rather petty.

[JoeBentley]

Originally Posted by Chloe

Then why didn't You save the 28 Ugandans who died when their f*cking church collapsed last year? Got a convenient excuse for that one?

Handy dandy cop-out I've learned from pCms, Glurge Writers, and other various religious yahoos.

When God does something you want him to do it's a sign of his infinite love for us, his divine plan, or proof of his existence.

When God does something you don't want him to do either he's "moving in mysterious ways" or testing you.

As George Carlin said it's a pretty nice state of mind, if you can talk yourself into it.

Originally Posted by Chloe

Then why didn't You save the 28 Ugandans who died when their f*cking church collapsed last year? Got a convenient excuse for that one?

Oh, yea, that one. Well, I was on break....

-God

[Eddylizard]

GRAHAM
I don't believe in God.

LECKTOR
You should, Will. God's terrific!
(beat)
He dropped a church roof on thirty-
four of His worshippers in Texas last
Wednesday night. Just as they were
grovelling to Him and singing a hymn.
Don't you think that felt good?
(beat)
He wouldn't begrudge you two measly
murders.

GRAHAM
Why does it feel good?

LECKTOR
It feels good because: if you do as
God does, enough times, you become
as God is: powerful...

LECKTOR
(fading)
God's a champ! He got a hundred and
sixty Philippines in one plane crash
two months ago... Remember the big
earthquake in Italy last spring...?

[Mouse]

Dear Glurge Writer,

Thanks for making me look like an unconcerned jackass! As if all those Army of God idiots weren't bad enough, now I've got you to deal with. Now hold still while I strap this lightening rod to your head.

Signed,
God

[Cervus]

Originally Posted by JoeBentley

Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,

God

So instead of being omnipotent and all-powerful, God has to submit to our rules now? Sweet!

[JoeBentley]

Originally Posted by Cervus

So instead of being omnipotent and all-powerful, God has to submit to our rules now? Sweet!

Cool! Let's make him do tricks!

[TwoGuyswithaHat]

Originally Posted by JoeBentley

Cool! Let's make him do tricks!

He's a puppy!

I just hope God's house broken.

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by TwoGuyswithaHat

He's a puppy!

I just hope God's house broken.

That explains the mysterious brown pile of steaming doggie poo in the shape of the Virgin Mary's face, which has just appeared on my carpet accomponied by shinning light and the sound of harps.

[Canuckistan]

Dear God:

Why do you let glurge writers cheapen you with stuff like the steaming pile of yak sh*t in the OP?

Canuck

-------------

Dear Canuck:

Eh, I can't be bothered to worry about the little people. And by little, I mean of mind.

God

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by Cervus

So instead of being omnipotent and all-powerful, God has to submit to our rules now? Sweet!

He doesn't have to. It's just, the pCms would rather believe that God is a big poopy pants rather than God doesn't exist/or does not control every action on earth down to the smallest detail.