In this world of lonely hearts

[James G]

Found this posted on a facebook group of which I'm a member. (It was posted with the intent of mocking it, very much in the same manner we do here.)

In this world of lonely hearts
And the age of the broken home
Has the feminist poison
Gone through to the bone?

Is there a maiden unscathed
Who is a lady through and through?
I see most women dress and talk
The way the feminists do

The tide of feminism
Has pulled many along
Though I blame the men
For not having been strong

Now thier womenhood is stolen
By the lies of Eve
The one who was tricked
And went on to decieve

Many don't like what they see
Some go half way and pretend
But who is really feminine...
A lady from begining to end?

I beg you maidens
Where ever you be
To pause for a moment
And listen to me

You can see the result of rebellion
Look at the prickle heads and prunes
All believing they're independant
But dancing to the piper's tunes

What's wrong with being a lady
What is so bad about respect
Was it worth the rebellion
When you look back and reflect?

I scan the horizon
Of a feministic earth
In search of a true lady
A maiden of worth

If you've ever seen a good girl
Who is humble and shy
Please you give her this message
Before she passes on bye

Tell her she's treasured
And that waiting's worthwhile
Then show her this poem
It'll surely make her smile

If I could tell her myself
I'd say so tenderly
Don't rush in and regret
Keep waiting patiently

Keep hold of your standards
Don't be tempted by fools gold
Look past the modern man's show
And think of when you are old.

Forget all your stress
Leave the worry behind
Life will be an adventure
If you find one who is kind

Studies, career,
Endless stress
Leave it behind
The world is a mess

What do you need
More than true love?
A life of romance
Designed by God above?

What price do we place on happiness,
How can you measure true love?
All a real man want's is a flower
An innocent white dove

Just be a girl
A humble little rose
And feel your life change
As the love shows

Don't put on aires
Why all the pride?
Don't try to compete
Or all the good men hide

If I knew who she was
I would encourage her on and on
But seeing it's just a dream
I'll end having just begun

I fear feminism's poisoned all ladies
Wherever it's propoganda's gone
But I live in the hope
Of some how being proven wrong

Harken ye maidens
Wherever you be
Soften your hearts
And delight in femininity

My reply on the facebook group:

They missed a few verses, these sound in line with the rest. (Please note, should I ever see these tacked onto the end and distributed with the original glurge, without irony, I will personally hunt down every one who sent the 'poem.'):

And when your husband beats you,
and you feel lost and alone
Just stand loyally by him,
For your place is in the home.

But should you feel succesful,
please recall you're incomplete,
Until you give the world your gift,
A patter of tiny feet.

I was going to write more but its making me feel like I need to take a long shower already.

Seriously though:

"What price do we place on happiness,
How can you measure true love?
All a real man want's is a flower
An innocent white dove"

1. I'm obviously not a real man. I 'want' a person, not a bloody barbie doll.
2. Sod that for a game of soldiers. If you do mean a man who expects you to be an 'innocent white dove,' then quite simply he's a tosser and should be told to piss off. (Given the context of the 'poem' I'm assuming that talk of 'innocence' is actually talking of deference, and enforcing 'purity' for your future husband.)

[Mickey Blue]

Woah! Where is Ryda when you need her?

I wouldn't even know where to start with this one, I don't have the gift of verse and just breaking it down would be like shooting fish.. on the ground.

-MB

[Richard W]

Why can't I just sit about and wait for somebody to rescue me? Bloody feminism!

If you dress like a man
In trousers and shirt
Then men can't be blamed
If they treat you like dirt

Your clothes give away
Your lack of self-respect
If you were happy with yourself
Then before the altar of political correctness you wouldn't need to genuflect

The only proper attire
Is an ankle length skirt
Together with a modest sackcloth blouse
Anything else makes you look a flirt

Flirts come to a bad end
God knows this is true
If you want to go to heaven
Make sure this isn't you!

[James G]

Originally Posted by Mickey Blue

Woah! Where is Ryda when you need her?

I'm a bit worried actually. If Ryda posts in this thread it will be like the Ryda and Anti-Ryda meeting. Not only will it relaease enough energy to destroy a very large country but the two will anhialate each other. Unfortunately I fear that anti-Ryda's probably exist in a greater number than Ryda's, and with them arround I fear we need every Ryda we can get our hands on.

[Richard W]

Originally Posted by James G

I'm a bit worried actually. If Ryda posts in this thread it will be like the Ryda and Anti-Ryda meeting. Not only will it relaease enough energy to destroy a very large country but the two will anhialate each other. Unfortunately I fear that anti-Ryda's probably exist in a greater number than Ryda's, and with them arround I fear we need every Ryda we can get our hands on.

We need some kind of damping mechanism - anybody have any carbon rods handy? Actually "Carbon Rod" would be quite a decent user name...

D'oh, carbon rods wouldn't work on a matter / antimatter explosion though, would they? They just absorb stray neutrons. Oh well. "Stray Neutron" might be another good user name, for that matter.

Either way, Ryda is female so she can't possibly be expected to understand this sort of thing. Be fair - just let her worry about the clothes part.

[Squirt]

I imagine a guy sitting at home, in the dark, alone, having been rejected by every women he's ever tried to talk to for being obnoxious and, very probably, smelly, and deciding that somehow it's feminisms fault that no woman ever wants to talk to him. All those women thinking they're better than him, sniggering at him behind his back, just because they're smarter and have better careers and clean hair. A real woman would appreciate him!

[kitap]

want's. They should be forced to live alone forever, friendless and without female companionship (as I'm sure they'd prefer to call it) for this.

As for the rest: sounds like a guy who not only got turned down but the last time he went for a promotion a woman got it.

[MidgardDragon]

I am often quite disgusted by the actions of many who call themselves "feminists" (note that I don't consider these to be real feminists, though), but even I found this to be complete tripe, and horrible horrible poetry to boot.

[bluestocking]

Now thier womenhood is stolen
By the lies of Eve
The one who was tricked
And went on to decieve

Originally Posted by Tantei Kid

When did Eve ever lie and how could Eve be anti-womanly? She was the entirety of womanhood for a while.
For some reason this verse stuck out to me among all the dreck.

This one stood out for me, too. The Bible clearly states that the serpent lied, Eve was deceived, and Adam knew full well what he was doing when he ate the forbidden fruit. This makes Eve the least reprehensible of the three, yet people use the story to promote the idea, "Women are evil/stupid and can't be trusted."

[Lancastrian]

And some people wonder why I find being called a "lady" insulting. If it's being used the way this pile of crap does, it is meant to upset.

I love this one though:

Is there a maiden unscathed
Who is a lady through and through?
I see most women dress and talk
The way the feminists do

Oh noes! Teh Feminists are turning all the females into hairy lezbians!!!111!! HALP!

Trousers are the devil, ladies.

[kitap]

Originally Posted by Lancastrian

Trousers are the devil, ladies.

I wash and dry Satan?!

[Spamamander]

The Satan that scares me has the "Dry Clean Only" label...

[Lancastrian]

Originally Posted by kitap

I wash and dry Satan?!

I hope so. Wet Satan is heavy and clammy, and very uncomfortable to wear.

[ARubberChickenWithAPulley]

Harken ye maidens
Wherever you be

Harken ye maidens??

Why do I get the feeling this guy owns a puffy pirate shirt.

Avast ye maties! Avast!