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Old 26 December 2017, 05:46 PM
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ganzfeld ganzfeld is offline
 
Join Date: 05 September 2005
Location: Kyoto, Japan
Posts: 23,599
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I do think you are misremembering.

The first big arguments I ever had on this board were about this issue. Even though I said probably 50 times - OK an exaggeration but literally at least a dozen - that I was not at all suggesting that the tradition was harmful (but that I thought it was fine and not bad for an adult or child to deny the reality of Santa to a child who believes), and that I gladly did the tradition in my own house - I was repeatedly accused of saying that it was harmful and I wasn't the only one. I don't think I've ever heard anyone here say it was harmful even though several questioned its wisdom or its ethics yet we were accused of that repeatedly.

So I think if you asked some of the people in those very threads five seconds later they would have "misremembered" it that way. (FTR, I love childhood myths. I love the Santa myth. I just don't mind people denying them or not participating in them. I think that's both part of the fun and their right as well.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esprise Me View Post
I wonder how you would actually feel if a parent went to the lengths most parents go to in playing Santa in order to convince his children that witches and goblins were real?
Not to answer for anyone but jumping off of this point: That kind of thing is not that uncommon in traditions. I don't know how I feel about it. There are parents here who chase away oni with beans every Feb 3. Not too many who go all the way with a costume or the fear factor but I don't think all that many people would think it cruel because they show it on TV sometimes. It makes me uncomfortable when the kids cry (slightly redeemed when the kids chase them out) but I can't say we've been that much better with handling various tooth fairies and spirits of things, etc.

Even though my dad denied to us from the start that Santa was the literal gift giver on Christmas, he did send me - and all his children - St Nick greetings on Dec 6 every year, even after I had an adult child of my own, often with the Santa motif, not 12th century iconography. Seems almost as real as it gets.

I'm OK saying "I don't know" to kids about some things - actually, many things. I might tell them there are no goblins and ghosts to ease their mind when they're afraid, or as a philosophical argument, though. I might tell them angels are watching them to comfort them or there are no angels as an argument as well. We usually wouldn't tell our kids "such-and-such isn't real" because we don't necessarily know.

Last edited by ganzfeld; 26 December 2017 at 05:57 PM.
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