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Old 07 March 2018, 08:36 PM
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Errata Errata is offline
Join Date: 02 August 2005
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 13,201

It's her property, so she can decide. However, I doubt she has much positive sentimental attachment to it after such a brief marriage, so it's just a financial asset to her. If that's the case, the reasonable thing to do is to assign a reasonable value to it and account for that when splitting up assets. If her ring is worth $X, and the husband wants it back, he can take $X less of his share of any joint assets. So she isn't losing anything, but he gets back something that means more to his family. Not entirely as straightforward as it should be to arrive at that value, since there is a big disparity between jewelry's actual resale value, appraised value, and retail value, and since it's an heirloom it's not precisely identical to anything produced recently that could be used as a point of comparison. Also a young new couple might not have assets to deduct it from, but if so the mother could just straight up buy it for whatever she might get at a consignment shop.

The exception might be if the divorce was one-sided and she felt like she should give it back on her own, but since that's not what happened it's reasonable to assume it's more complicated than that.

Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
I don't understand the logic behind using a family heirloom in this way, but it doesn't.
What else are you going to do with a family engagement/wedding ring but use it for an engagement/wedding? Put it in a shrine? The mother probably wants to use it again in exactly the same way for some other relationship that will hopefully last longer.

Last edited by Errata; 07 March 2018 at 08:41 PM.
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