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Old 28 February 2018, 04:20 PM
thorny locust's Avatar
thorny locust thorny locust is offline
Join Date: 27 April 2007
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 9,915

Oh, this is hard.

My mother did not have an assisted dying choice; but I think she might have taken it if she had. She wasn't in significant pain, but she was in increased dementia that was not going to get better, and was intermittently aware of this.

I think I agree with the neutral stance. Tell her you love her and will very much miss her, but that it's her body and her life and her decision, and you'll support her with whatever she chooses to do.

I'm afraid you may have to deal with some obnoxious people afterwards, relatives or not, and no matter what you do yourself and no matter what your mother decides. (I have a close friend some of whose mother's nurses criticized her for giving her mother a painkiller, which her mother requested and which the mother's doctor had prescribed, on what turned out to be the day of her death.) You might tell them you knew you couldn't please everybody but you did your damndest to please your mother. I don't know whether it'll help.
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